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Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

So thanks to Mazarita for encouraging me to come to this side of the forums.

I know diagnoses cannot be made here but I wanted to share what has been going for my husband. He separated from me 7 weeks ago, quite unexpectedly. He told me to check the washing outside and when I came back he had gone!! I phoned him and he told me he couldn't do marriage anymore and wanted to be selfish and fulfill his dreams. He is the world's least selfish person. We have had a lot of grief and loss in our lives (my mum passed away October 2015) . Long story short, he has started a new life with possibly planning in March 2016 without me knowing. He is a rather "excitable person" who took up art in 2003 and he is brilliant artist. He is always a dreamer with big plans, plenty of energy, eats fast, talks fast, walks fast....and doesn't need a lot of sleep! Everything I am not!! Sometimes starts projects and doesn't finish them and sometimes goes into big plan that don't do so well. Has had some minor depression(nothing serious) Had a great job and is a terrific worker. Works at one hundred miles an hour.

Put on a lot of weight(possibly due to overeating) but started exercising like crazy this year. He was running excessively and weighing himself constantly. Concrned about appearance as well and bald spot(shaved his head) I guess typical MID LIFE crisis stuff. But one morning woke early to run and saw something happening in our street and phoned crimestoppers thinking neighbours had been murdered..

IN March he went on dating site(has not told me but I found it in on computer) and met a lady in another country. Went to meet up with her in April(It was my birthday). Stayed overseas for five days. Came back(he is currently living with his mum who has some major mental health issues).

Quit his long-standing job, took out lots of loans/credit cards, gambling again,and has gone to Japan in hope of starting a new life. Told me I had been a good wife and he gave me a rating of 97percent.

Doesn't seem to have any concept or understanding of what i am going through and an expectancy for me to accept all of this (with ease). Became irritable over last few weeks. WE had a good marriage, we are good friends..of course, we have the ups and downa like others have. He always wanted to travel and I was apprehensive about flying. So it looks like he has had to find someone else in another country. He has been applying for any type of job online (in Japan) and gets desperate and frustrated when they don't accept him because he can't speak Japanese or have any type of visa yet. He replies to their rejections with a photograph of himself or his new partner.

He sent emails to family members and people at work to tell them he has a new partner. when people looked up to him and our marriage of nearly 18 years. We were always respected.

Shaved his head, grew a beard as well. i also noticed he was receiving photos from a girl he worked with. I have not seen this side of my husband before. He isn't particularly flirty but when I had the garage sales for my mum, he was interested in talking with some of the young women and i caught him trying to sell my mum's house to some people. Very jumpy and agitated at the time.

Never ever dreamed he would do something so spontaneous and erratic...although I know people going through mid-life crisis can do things like this

He told me he was going to Japan to paint but didn't mention the girl. He said he had picked two countries - it was either France or Japan and looked like Japan won as he said it was too dangerous to go to France.

It appears that he does plan a lot and thinks about things intensely..and often obsessional.

His mum had many many relationships in her lifetime so maybe this is a learnt thing.

We are both christians and we hold to our marriage vows but it seems like these are not imporant now. My husband blames me for a lot of things that have caused him to do this.

He did this last year..he told me he was going to work, kissed me goodbye but he was on holidays and driving to another town. He sent me a series of text messages and emails with instructions in what I had to do. He went through a lot of money but came back when I persuaded him to do so.

This may be just a man wanting to start a new life, but it seems he doesnt have any care for the home we have put together, his garden, his vegetables and his

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In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Thanks Moongal. The relationship did not work and he said "her mother told him to divorce me" but he knew divorce was wrong. But i am confused as he put on the dating site - "with view to marriage" Whether he lied about the reason for the breakup. Maybe they saw some "odd" behaviour in him.

He was depressed for three days, but now, today, he is better and back to going out. I am not sure if he crashed or if it was due to the fact this break-up occurred.

I dont know if it is bioplar or not. He seems to blame me for things in his life..he says- I didnt give him a chance to do his own thing. But I have. He is very determined in his life esp when it comes to "art" and i have encouraged him. I am totally confused. He seems to think I am the bad person

We have a crisis here atm, his niece is living with me(under community Services) and a home is to be found for her.I am not able to look after her until she is 18 years of age. If my husband was with me and somewhat responsible(he usually is but not now) we could take cre of her together.

I seem to t hink maybe I am the one with the problem. My husband is creative and now living life up. Perhaps I am the boring . I recently lost my mum and my husband was close to her.

He has had a lot of loss and grief too and we both travelled down the road of infertility together, losing a baby in pregnancy.

I have to move on with my life though...it's just difficult with having my niece, ( i do love and care for her) but her needs come first now

i should be angry with my husband, it is his flesh and blood but i have no anger...

I am sorry if you experience these symptoms too. I can imagine it would be difficult to have so many thoughts racingi in your head.

I have also noticed a lot of deceitfullness and lies...is this part of mental illness or just the fact that he has to cover up from all of his activity?

I know his mum has had a life like this, lots of relationships and moving on from project to project, re-arranging house constantly(but house being in a messy state" but her thinking never stable.

Also I hope and pray my husband hasn't gone back on drugs.

In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

@MoonGal

Some of this - all the basic stuff - sounds so much like my husband that a diagnosis of bipolar underlying this ED bizzo would not actually surprise me at all !!

🌷

In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

If this is bipolar why does my husband treat me like I am the one at fault? Or I am the one that has caused him to leave? He says things like 'You have been abusive for 20 years I have known you? Which is not true at all. He comes from an abusive, dysfuncational family?

He is talking to me more now because he isn't in a relationship. He told me he went to Tokyo and got lost and panicked. He isn't yelling at me now, but still show no warmth or love feelings towards me.

Had a difficult afternoon with my niece. She was moody because she was tired and took it out on me. I am not used to this, She started attacking me verbally saying nasty things about my home and about me being a bit slow. It does hurt and I am not in a position to punish her but I did say that it hurt me.

I would have to say my life was relatlively (somewhat) normal but these past three months I have felt emmotionally abused.

There is a part of me that wants to leave everybody behind and move on.

That "caring" part is still there. I still care about my husband but I know I cannot tolerate his behaviour at the moment.

Thanks again for your support.

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Sending you hugs @Grace01.

Try not to mind what your niece is saying to you, as she will be angry about her life circumstances and lashing out at whoever is standing closest to her.

Create boundaries within the space of your home by staying in your own "zone" when you need space from her (your bedroom, porch, kitchen table, your own chair in the lounge room).

Another way to make space for yourself is to play music on your phone, or a pocket radio or something, with headphones in, just like the teens do.

You are entitled to your own head-space.

💜

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hi @Grace01

You sound like an extremely caring, understanding and patient. These are wonderful traits, though they can a dark side where you can focus on caring for others more so than yourself.

I think it's only natural that you care for you husband - sharing 18 years of your life is LONG time, and an achievement as well.

Its difficult to know why your husband is behaving in this way. It sounds like he is lacking insight, which is common when people are unwell. It can seem like the world and everything around them is the problem, and there is little consideration about the impact of their behaviour.

It's normal to want to make sense of behaviour that doesn't make sense. Though I think doing this can be draining. It can be a lot of speculation if the other person is not wanting to work on themselves. We can't know for certain what is going on for your husband. I know its hard, but try and draw your focus back to yourself. It's the one thing you can be sure of. What is the impact that is having on you? What do you need right? What things can you work on and change to improve the situation?

Sending you strength. It's sounds like a really challenging time. **hugs**

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)


@Grace01 wrote:

If this is bipolar why does my husband treat me like I am the one at fault?

I would have to say my life was relatlively (somewhat) normal but these past three months I have felt emmotionally abused.

There is a part of me that wants to leave everybody behind and move on.

That "caring" part is still there. I still care about my husband but I know I cannot tolerate his behaviour at the moment.

Thanks again for your support.


Hello @Grace01

I agree with Cherry Bomb. You now need to focus on yourself and put your needs and priorities first before you go down. Your husband has been fulfilling his needs for awhile now at a high cost to you, and whatever is his issues he "continues to chose" to satisfy his own whims/fantasies without any consideration for your feelings, that's not love Grace, that's emotional abuse.

You are feeling the latter because it is the reality of your situation. No; - lies and deceit is not part of mental illness - that's the persons lack of integrity, poor judgement and poor value system. We are not a mental illness - we are individuals that make choices that shape who we are based on what we value the most. And these values or lack of can be influenced - (mother's example of lifestyle choices not caring whom it hurts which husband is clearly following - nothing to do with mental illness). At the moment your husband is putting himself first and upmost - and you are not entering the equation. There is no excuse for that - it's selfish.

Bi-polar or not does not excuse him abusing you emotionally - taking out his lows/moodswings and selfish choices out on you; blaming you wrongly for the past to make himself feel better to avoid personal liability for his weaknesses as to admit blame on his part "would mean he would have to change when he does not want to change". That's the reality. People will often avoid change if it doesn't suit or blind to it until they are forced to by others "not accepting their bad behaviour". That's why he likes to be near mum - he doesn't have to change then.

He doesn't want to change right now. And the only way insight will come to him is if people stop excusing his behaviour blaming it on illness or accepting it. He needs to be sent messages from you that "what he is doing is hurtful and wrong" - before there is any chance that he may want to change or seek help. This message can only be sent by you breaking contact. Otherwise presently nothing will change. I dont want to see you hurt anymore Grace or become more psychologically damaged - and I won't sugar coat or tip toe where your well being is at stake - you can do this.

If drugs are a part of his moodswings, which could very well be - it still stands that it was his choice to take them, is self inflicted, he would of known the adverse impacts to mental health they cause having been down that road before especially; the grief on you and "he still chose to go ahead" (if that is the case); and you don't deserve the adverse consequences of these actions, he does for any chance to learn by his mistakes (wont happen if excused or rescued) - he is still responsible to address his poor choices and fix them. The onus is on him - Not you. He's a big boy.

You have been damaged enough through it and it's time to put a stop to how unfairly you have been treated. Its time to consider breaking contact - It's now time for him to take responsibility for his own actions seeing them as "disrespectful" if he is ever to change or want to seek help. This "will never happen if his actions and hurtful behaviour is tolerated and accepted (forgiven without remorseful genuine change - "this is the pattern in DV cases and nothing but grief and further harm continues to the point of tragedy if allowed to go on by acceptance and contact). The cycle has to be broken - the sooner the better.

Dont allow this abuse any longer my friend. You deserve better - you know you do. Listen to that guide deep within yourself to the right thing to do (stated by yourself I n your above quote - listen to it my friend) and take that first step in looking after you now. Walk away, don't look back as only then will you ever be able to move forward. You have the strength. We cannot truly love anyone until we actively love and respect ourselves first. Sending warm loving hugs and support. Xx

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Big warm hugs from me too.

💜

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hi @Grace01,

So glad you are getting a circle of caring around you here. I'm also sending hugs and support from my part of the continent. I've been reading the posts here but just in 'listening' mode lately.

One thing I'd mention to you at this point is that, as I told you on the Carer's Forum, I went through a similar stage in my life as your husband and it ended my marriage. In my case it was related to undiagnosed bipolar and it may well be that with your husband too. However, without acknowledgement of it by your husband and treatment, it could go on for years, as it did with me. Even with treatment, these kinds of issues do not resolve quickly and there is no absolute 'cure' for bipolar, though in time it may become more managable for both sufferers and carers. I felt it might be worth mentioning this to you so that you can have more information about what to do in relation to your husband at this time.

It's possible it may be beneficial for you to completely cut communication with your husband for now. That's what my ex-husband did when I was mistreating him and I now see how wise he was to do that. It's probable he would have continued to be badly treated by me if he had not done that as I was unable to connect with my love of him at that time and was indeed looking for someone to blame for the lows I was experiencing in between my highs. It was only when he stood up for himself and broke contact with me that I was able to start reflecting on my bad treatment of him and even that took some time to realise.

As I mentioned to you, this time is now one of the biggest regrets of my life and I totally understand why he had to break from me. In your case, it may or may not end in divorce as it did with me. But I suggest you consider breaking communication with your husband at this time for your own wellbeing, and for his.

Of course, you are the only one who should decide these matters. We are here just to offer perspectives from our own experience. It is a delicate situation to be advising someone about really. But, even if what we are saying here does not ring true or right to you, be assured we do have a lot of care for what you are going through.

Sending kindest wishes.

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Let me firstly say how loved and supported i feel in these forums. Thank YOU!

As a christian, I took my vows very seriously...(even if my husband didn't) If he wanted to come back to me, he would have to see a Dr/pyschologist or marriage counseller. There would have to be HUGE changes, but this is only if HE wanted to come back. I can't force him to do anything. I have forgiven him for the adultery but I still have to work through the hurt/pain. And I am not sure if the relationship would be the same again. It's difficult to gage as there has been tremendous hurt/deceit and pain. As a christian I leave it in God's hands but I also ask God for wisdom as, what I have learnt from all of this, is that I am a vunerable person and have allowed others to walk over me. I have received so much abuse from my husband's family. I am actually in touch with 1800RESPECT. and receive support

I know I deserve better treatment

M- again I am sorry to hear you lost your marriage through all of this. It wasn't your fault if you hadn't received a diagnosis.

And I am taking on board in stepping back with my husband

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hello @Grace01

So good to read that you contacted 1800RESPECT to receive support for the abuse inflicted by your husband and his family. Good move to protecting you!!

And that is what the focus is on, protecting you and "moving forward" - "not thinking or focusing on what may or may not happen with your husband in the future and on what grounds" (that's keeping the emotional ties with him open making you vulnerable to him/abuse again now that you may not be aware of).

Putting the focus on you now and what you need to do for "yourself" in order to heal from all the pain/grief/scars inflicted "without your husband in the scene or continually at the forefront of your mind is how you will move on".

Focusing or being in contact with him will keep reopening the wounds where more hurt will accrue. Stepping away from abuse "does not mean we don't take our vows seriously as abuse is "not love", is not what God wants and makes the vows "null and void". Yes, you are cared for and loved here. We seek to protect you as a sister. Warm hugs xx

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