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Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

So thanks to Mazarita for encouraging me to come to this side of the forums.

I know diagnoses cannot be made here but I wanted to share what has been going for my husband. He separated from me 7 weeks ago, quite unexpectedly. He told me to check the washing outside and when I came back he had gone!! I phoned him and he told me he couldn't do marriage anymore and wanted to be selfish and fulfill his dreams. He is the world's least selfish person. We have had a lot of grief and loss in our lives (my mum passed away October 2015) . Long story short, he has started a new life with possibly planning in March 2016 without me knowing. He is a rather "excitable person" who took up art in 2003 and he is brilliant artist. He is always a dreamer with big plans, plenty of energy, eats fast, talks fast, walks fast....and doesn't need a lot of sleep! Everything I am not!! Sometimes starts projects and doesn't finish them and sometimes goes into big plan that don't do so well. Has had some minor depression(nothing serious) Had a great job and is a terrific worker. Works at one hundred miles an hour.

Put on a lot of weight(possibly due to overeating) but started exercising like crazy this year. He was running excessively and weighing himself constantly. Concrned about appearance as well and bald spot(shaved his head) I guess typical MID LIFE crisis stuff. But one morning woke early to run and saw something happening in our street and phoned crimestoppers thinking neighbours had been murdered..

IN March he went on dating site(has not told me but I found it in on computer) and met a lady in another country. Went to meet up with her in April(It was my birthday). Stayed overseas for five days. Came back(he is currently living with his mum who has some major mental health issues).

Quit his long-standing job, took out lots of loans/credit cards, gambling again,and has gone to Japan in hope of starting a new life. Told me I had been a good wife and he gave me a rating of 97percent.

Doesn't seem to have any concept or understanding of what i am going through and an expectancy for me to accept all of this (with ease). Became irritable over last few weeks. WE had a good marriage, we are good friends..of course, we have the ups and downa like others have. He always wanted to travel and I was apprehensive about flying. So it looks like he has had to find someone else in another country. He has been applying for any type of job online (in Japan) and gets desperate and frustrated when they don't accept him because he can't speak Japanese or have any type of visa yet. He replies to their rejections with a photograph of himself or his new partner.

He sent emails to family members and people at work to tell them he has a new partner. when people looked up to him and our marriage of nearly 18 years. We were always respected.

Shaved his head, grew a beard as well. i also noticed he was receiving photos from a girl he worked with. I have not seen this side of my husband before. He isn't particularly flirty but when I had the garage sales for my mum, he was interested in talking with some of the young women and i caught him trying to sell my mum's house to some people. Very jumpy and agitated at the time.

Never ever dreamed he would do something so spontaneous and erratic...although I know people going through mid-life crisis can do things like this

He told me he was going to Japan to paint but didn't mention the girl. He said he had picked two countries - it was either France or Japan and looked like Japan won as he said it was too dangerous to go to France.

It appears that he does plan a lot and thinks about things intensely..and often obsessional.

His mum had many many relationships in her lifetime so maybe this is a learnt thing.

We are both christians and we hold to our marriage vows but it seems like these are not imporant now. My husband blames me for a lot of things that have caused him to do this.

He did this last year..he told me he was going to work, kissed me goodbye but he was on holidays and driving to another town. He sent me a series of text messages and emails with instructions in what I had to do. He went through a lot of money but came back when I persuaded him to do so.

This may be just a man wanting to start a new life, but it seems he doesnt have any care for the home we have put together, his garden, his vegetables and his

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In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hi @Grace01

I too am a Christian who takes my commitment to relationships very seriously - bearing in mind of course that that is not exclusive to being a Christian.

This is the teaching in our church ......

Divorce is permitted through the church on the basis of these three things -

Infidelity

Abandonment

Abuse

Marriage is a sacrament, and these three states violate the sacrament, rendering it null and void. Your husband has engaged in all three of these states.

He was unfaithful in contacting a dating site in the first instance, and stating that he was interested in pursuing a relationship or intimacy elsewhere.

He quite obviously abandoned you in every way possible.

He subjected you to emotional abuse which is continuing every time he interacts with you.

In our church a divorce is served through the church as well as the state, in the same way a marriage is conducted in the church and also served thought the state.

It is entirely your choice whether you leave the door open for your husband to return, (and in many ways my own situation is not dissimilar), especially if you believe he is in a mental or emotional state that he can be rescued from and his return is conditional to being diagnosed and treated, but these church boundaries create a very clear understanding that acceptance of any of these states does not align with the teachings of the Christian Faith.

Forgiving someone else is one thing, in the form of not holding their actions against them.

Receiving forgiveness is dependent entirely on recognising the error of your ways and becoming remorseful to the core of your being.

This is not what you are describing as your husband's response to his situation .....

I feel for you deeply, and support you in the choices you make for your life, and honour your faith and sense of personal integrity. Everything I have stated here is intended to help you see clearly beyond the guilt of what it means to forgive. You can still love your husband, but you are free to let him go to the new life he has chosen. You are no longer bound to him if you choose not to be because he has broken the sacrament you entered into together.

Much love ❤️❤️❤️ understanding entirely that this might make it more clear-cut, but no less easy.

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Thanks,Faith and Hope. I, too, agree with what you have said.

I need to pray about this (as I have been doing) and leave it with God.

God gave me a piece of scripture(which I need to find and will post tomorrow in the message).

I don't know what tomorrow holds. I do realise, that I don't want to go through this again ...ever...

I will probably try and have a chat with one of my pastors. Thanks for your encouragment and God bless xx

In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

I'm reading the reponse from OverTheEdge... this makes so much sense to me in regard to my own experience. My husband cheated online, I read texts and saw photos and even read online sexual conversations between him and other women.. for a long time these images were in my head day in day out and would often drown out any other normal everyday thinking and hence leaving me with same panic attacks as Grace. I never really dealt with the shock, pain, humiliation, total self blame, sadness and insecurity it bought to my life. I believe it was the onset of my anxiety and depression, and my inability to control my feelings. Now after 6 years or so I'm ticking the boxes of BPD.

Is it possible that I haven't taken care of myself properly and have subconciously projected all my negative feelings onto my husband - which now has him dealing with his own anxiety.

I'm still blaming myself!

I'm extremely scared he'll leave me!

I find myself begging him to love me again!

Grace01 I'm wondering what you have done or have been doing to overcome your trauma?

Did you have similar emotions and feelings as I have?

In response to: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

sorry to hear you have been through similar.

I am doing a little better. I think having my neice here is keeping me preoccupied.

I did suffer from some anxiety initially and it was quite severe(panic attacks)

I am sad that he has done this and sad that he can't see that I love him. He has been destructive of himself. I know I am worthy and have been a good wife to him. I know I deserve better treatment.

I think, being deceived is the saddest thing though. And I still think this is part of a mental illness. I was talking to some aunts and they tell me(now) that they have thought there was something going on for him, that he was struggling mentally.

My husband's family have been a great source of pain for me and i will be happy when I (finally) get to move on.

And I think I am grieving deeply...for the loss of my mum and my husband.

As a christian, I know He is in God's hands and any wrongs he has done, he will be answerable for them, particularly the pain he has caused me. He will also suffer consequences for his actions.

If he doesn't love, then sadly, it is his loss.

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hi @Grace01 and @Childlike,

I have experienced something very similar to both of you. I have been following this post and have been too scared to respond but I think I need to because we need our stories told so that we can help ourselves and each other. I need to think more carefully about writing mine. I'm trying to move on from it being my story, my only story but I guess I need to acknowledge that it will always be a defining part of my story. Thinking of you both. I will post when I can😊💜

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hey Teej..

If your story is similar to mine.. you we're not a lone!

I'm almost sad to say this, but I'm glad someone else can share my struggle!

I'm here when you're ready Teej

xox

In response to: Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Re: Can I please share what's going on with my husband - (possible BPD)

Hi @Grace01, just checking in to see how you are going after a little while of not posting. Sending kindest wishes.

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