Need a little help tonight

The days are really up and down with your Mum still @Razzle Good that your brother can step in tomorrow while you are at your counselling session. It should be interesting to see how much insight your husband actually has about everything and if he recognises the impact things have had on your recently. It may be only a small step forward but if he can actually see the effects his actions (and others) have had on you then you may be able to work through it. I know that really is not where your head is at presently but that is also something you can bring up tomorrow - it might shake him into reality a bit too.

Time will tell I guess @Zoe7 . He says he understands things in front of the councillor but then changes his tune when things don’t go his way. I used to suck it up and move on to avoid any conflict (he hates conflict - I’m not scared of it). Now I don’t suck it up, now I challenge him even if that means conflict.

Actually, my head is all over the place at the moment, I’m struggling to concentrate on anything. I’m not taking on any of his concerns because I just can’t deal with all his shit along with everything going on.

It is good that you aren't just doing what he wants but finding your own voice @Razzle So often we stay quiet to placate others and that often leads to even more pain - so whilst it may seem like conflict I see it more as speaking up for yourself and your needs and letting him know where you stand - and that is a good thong Hon

Yep @Zoe7 . I’m too old to be letting myself get walked over. I’ve let him do it for too long

That takes courage and strength @Razzle - go you

Thanks @Zoe7 . Wish I’d done it years ago, never too late though

It might be the turning point for your relationship @Razzle - whatever that may look like for you going into the future.

Yes, I think you’re right @Zoe7

He is beginning to see it’s not always going to go his way, wether he puts up with it or not is up to him. I’ve told him plenty of times that I’m not going back to the way it was. There’s still a bit of push and pull - it’s a big change for him and he’s not taking it quietly but he also knows I’m not backing down

WHen we come to that crossroads in life it is imperative that we know what we want and do not want @Razzle That is the only way we can move forward. Often changes have to be made for our own happiness and it seems you are certainly in the throes of making those changes for You - that is important as it is you that you have to live with and whatever else is in your life has to fit with what you both want and need. Standing your ground can be hard but also empowering at the same time. This time apart certainly seems to have consolidated a lot of thoughts and feelings for you and also given you some extra strength to move forward - wherever that takes you and whatever place your husband has in that future is dependent so much on his acceptance that things need to change and consideration for what you need and want.

@Zoe7 Yes exactly, I had always been scared of change, which suited him perfectly. I’m now loving it, it was a long time coming