EMDR - Has anyone done this

@Former-Member Goodluck with your first EMDR session tomorrow. Hope it is not too hard on you and you find it beneficial. Let us know how it goes

@eth

How do i jump onto the a long rave thread?

Still trying to get the hang of this thing

@Former-Member Here is the long rave thread for you Re: A Long Rave

Hope all goes well for you today @Former-Member with your 1st EMDR session. Look forward to hearing about it. I agree about finding the right meds. It took many years for me but at this stage it's been 2 years since my last hypomania or major depression and 10 years since my last hospitalization, so my 3-fold management approach seems to be working. That's meds, psychology and self-management (sleep hygeine, diet, self-care activities etc). My meds haven't needed tweaking much at all in the last 2 years. I do feel as if I've progressed more and faster since starting the EMDR, for sure. Having way less panic attacks both day and night.

@Zoe7 @Doglover @eth @MDT @Gazza75

Ive been awake since 5am trying to get back to sleep. I know whats eating away at me. No its not the EMDR session this am.

I separated from my family yrs ago. Just couldnt take the constant hurt from them anymore. The constant put downs constant criticism.

Recently due to putting in a dva claim i had to get a witness statement from my mother.

Now she writes to me like weve been friends forever.

I just cant do it tho. She was so cruel to me. When i gave birth to my son 16yrs ago she sent me a book written by child abuse supporters. It really hurt me. Its not the thing u give ur daughter as a present. It was a horrible book i couldnt even read it. My sons father threw it away he was so angry. Shes best friends with my eldest bros that molested me. She doesnt even know. I was sexually assaulted by my first boss & she told me to keep it quiet. I was so unprotected. So unloved.it lead to so much sexual abuse throughout my life. My mother blames it all on me. I just cant write to her like nothing ever happened. She hated me my whole life. I have to let her & my brother know how i feel. I dont care that my bros alive think im horrible for staying away from the family. I dont care that they will hate me for telling her how much she hurt me. I need to do this for me cause im crying my eyes out so hurt. I have suffered enough! I live with a mental illness because of what they did to me. I mean im putting in a dva claim for what the army did to me at age 19 because i know thats when the ptsd started but the bpd started from a really horrible childhood. I have to let them know how hurt i am. Its about me now. So what if it hurts them. I have a right to let people know if they hurt me. I have a great relationship with my son because ive always appologised to him if ive been in the wrong. I couldnt live with myself otherwise. I dont know how my brother & mother can live with themselves to be honest. I can c today is going to b a hard one for me. I have lollipop duty this arvo & then a tibetan sound bowls night which hopefully will lessen the stress later. But for now i know whats really upsetting me & need to address it.

Hi @Former-Member , just want to say it's admirable and brave of you to take action against these people that have done these horrible things to you. It takes a lot of courage and to do and to share with us about what you are going through.

I hope you can find a little comfort through the day and have a good few hours at work.

The tibetan sound bowls sounds very interesting and fingers crossed it helps with your stress.

Take care of yourself and remember that people here will support you through thick and thin. 🙂

Hi @Former-Member I'm really sorry that you've been through so much. You are so brave sharing so much here. As I have said, we have many experiences in common (multiple sa as both child and adult plus other forms of abuse over the years). And we are not alone in having had these experiences here on the forums. I'm thinking that it's possible all you've been through is surfacing this morning because you've finally found someone you feel safe to work it through with. The more you can tell your psychologist the more they can help you. They may be able to help you work out a strategy for interacting and disclosing with your family members. My psychologist says 'you have to feel it to heal it'. Really hoping the EMDR works as well for you as it is for me. It takes a little while for the benefits to be obvious but for me it feels like the more I do it, the faster it changes things. Best wishes for it to go well for you. And by the way I have had a singing bowl for many years. I'm sure that going to hear them will be a very healing experience. You can sort of inhale the sound. The effect is profound.

Good morning to you too @Gazza75