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Something’s not right

Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor

Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

I seem to struggle a lot with feelings of 'liking' and 'caring about' in certain relationships.

For example, I might like someone and want to talk to them, but that's bad because I shouldn't want that, so I have to police myself to not talk to them which makes me upset, which is even more reason to be ashamed by the intensity of the feeling which I shouldn't even have in the first place.

Does anyone else understand what I mean?

164 replies

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In response to: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Always worth checking out options. @jamesle2015

In response to: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticonI have a GP appt on Monday after work and I will get the referral ...so I hope to get an appt sometime in June or July

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticon @Appleblossom I got a specialist appointment for 14 July

so that's good ...

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Good @jamesle2015

Cvid will have settled a little by then ... I hope ...

@TheVorticon Hey

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Glad to hear you got your appointment @jamesle2015 🙂
Hi @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticon

Just reread first page of this thread.

At the time you posted it, it resonated a LOT with me. So many attachment issues, that for decades I did not understand the full ramifications ...

Now I have just had another unsatisfactory - abusive end of therapuetic relationship, I am feeling again with you. What is it, that people think they can judge the soul of another person.

No answers here ... sorry ... just hello.

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

TheVorticonSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

I'm sorry to hear that you had another negative and abusive therapy experience @Appleblossom 😞 When it goes wrong it can go so badly wrong and cause a lot of hurt with it. I hope you can heal from it because you deserve to heal, not be further hurt.

I think I've made some progress with my psych compared to the start of this thread (I'm reluctant to go back and read it) but tolerating my feelings about it is a daily battle, some days harder than others... Yet I think (hope) I've got a guy who's good at his job and good at allowing for not-knowing, correcting and adjusting (I say now, knowing I'm sure to flip out about it again at some point tomorrow).
Again I'm sorry that it seems that the person you were seeing couldn't do that for you.

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@TheVorticon

I did not know her for that long, but it still wasted time and money and hope to actually sort through things.

Its great you have someone who can adjust and correct for not knowing.

Of course they cant and should not know everything about their client's lives. Thats the nature of the work. Dont reflect back unless it is the right time for you. I do it periodically on all my threads, mainly to see how things have changed and it reminds me of the support I had. So reflecting back often ends with me feeling grateful ... sigh ... I am not back there ... things are better now. etc

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

jamesle2015Senior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

@Appleblossom @TheVorticon I have a dental appointment for normal cleaning on Saturday afternoon ....haven't been to this one before ...the dentist I used to go to

is not working due to covid....this new place is only up the road from me so that's good

In response to: Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Attachment weirdness, neediness, shame

Lots of little changes as well as the big ones due to Covid. @jamesle2015

Making dental appointment is next on my list!

So many details.

Some things do not matter if you let them go for a few months, but gotta get around to it eventually.

@TheVorticonHey!

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