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Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember27 June 2019, 2:19 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

In this Topic Tuesday we will be looking at what it’s like to care about someone in your life, even if you aren’t a carer or do not identify as a carer. Maybe your friend is going through a tough time with their mental health and you want to help them? Maybe a family member is struggling and you want to support them as much as you can. We will cover things like how to have a supportive conversation with someone, what can you do if someone doesn’t want help. For those carers that are a bit more informed on these things – please do join us and share your experiences and insights as we knowledge share throughout the night too!

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

If you have any questions about how to use the Forums, check out our Guides.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Mum-mehCasual Contributor20 Aug 2019, 7:20 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Hi all 🙂

first time poster here. My 16y daughter was dc with Aspergers 4 years ago, as well as ocd/anxiety/depression/panic disorder and potential ADHD... she is about to be discharged from acute care after 16 days of suicidal ideation and self harm...

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2019, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Hello @Former-Member - welcome and thanks for my newly updated title 😉

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Georgie_GirlContributor20 Aug 2019, 7:22 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Hi all,

I care for my husband who has BiPolar 2.

I find bringing up tricky topics very difficult- it often triggers his anger.

I’m beginning to learn to be brave and just speak my mind.

I hate feeling like facing tricky situations are a trigger, but I’m hoping by doing it more frequently he’ll be able to cope better

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2019, 7:23 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Hi @Mum-meh

Welcome to the forums! Sounds like things are quite tough at the moment, its not easy to see your loved one struggle - hope you get something out of tonight and finding connections with others here! If you feel like you want a bit more help and support through the discharge, do feel free to post your story in the broader forums after tonight.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor20 Aug 2019, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Sending you understanding hugs @Georgie_Girl ,

@Former-Member , I usually wait until my husband says more later about how he is

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2019, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Welcome @Georgie_Girl

That must be hard to approach conversations with a bit of fear. Have you found certain ways of starting the conversations help to lower the trigger? Do you feel like you could in a calm moment talk about his feelings of anger when you have those conversations? This might no be doable which I completely understand.

How have others here started conversations with loved ones they are concerned for?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2019, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Thats interesting @Shaz51 - and in that waiting time, are there things you do to help make it easier to get to a conversation. Like bonding or rapport building things - sometimes little gesture or activities can help someone feel more relaxed to talk more about whats going on for them?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember20 Aug 2019, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

I find regular texting of my family members reminds them I am thinking of them. I try and phone sis regularly and get them both an occasional item of clothing. I ring sis regularly.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor20 Aug 2019, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Picking the right time to ask @Former-Member was always the point

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

outlanderSenior Contributor20 Aug 2019, 7:29 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

How do you have a supportive conversation? What kind of things can you say to help them feel supported or help them feel like they can open up to you?

For me, I don't pressure anyone to talk to me. If they say they are fine I will ask are you sure you seem abit (angry, upset, tired whatever ive noticed) and if they still don't want to talk ill just let them know that im there if they do want to talk.

If they do talk and open up I try active listening and try to be empathetic even if I don't fully understand by using phrases like that must be really hard how do you cope with all that or do you have anyone to help you.
I try to make them feel heard.

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