To hospital or not to hospital

Thanks for ur suggestions @Sad2 . I do hav a relaxation cd given to me by my OT. I think i need to get a portable cd player so i can listen to it in bed.

It isnt easy to find a gd gp, and i dont like my chances of finding a gp that actually believes me when it comes to whats causing my issues. Im not a big fan of certain meditations, but if its just a matter of listening to relaxing music while deep breathing i dont mind.

How r u doing @Sad2 ?

Hi @Doglover

i’m doing ok. Feeling tired today because my sleep hygiene isn’t great. I go to bed really late & then I pay for it the next day. Being back on my antidepressants has helped me improve. I was taking anti psychotics (for the anxiety) during the day & a dose at night. Now I just take these at night. My anxiety has improved a lot & the depression is at bay. The daily activities you do for yourself are part of the healing process. I hope you can find a good doctor who can help you with suitable medication you might need. Not easy if you’re reacting to the ingredients. Keep trying, there has to be an answer for you.

Hey @Doglover ,

just checking in and sending some warm thoughts and strength your way. I agree with @Sad2 , you have to keep trying as theres an answer to all this, somewhere, somehow. You certainly deserve some peace and opportunity for a normal existence. @BryanaCamp idea about the accupuncture might be worth a shot as well, you never know and even if it just brings you minor relief its worth it.

Do your symptoms ever abate, like when your in the shower or in the bath? Does it build through the day or is it the same from when you wake up? Its good that hubs has been more supportive, every little bit helps.

Take care

Thats rly gd news about being back on antidepressants and them rly helping u @Sad2 , and interesting from my perspective. I too am on antipsychotics but for anxiety. I take main dose at night and small dose in the morning but still have severe anxiety and related symptoms. Maybe the AP's just dont do the trick. Mind u they hav tried me on 4 different AD's and none of them agreed with me. Thats why im still on short term anti anxiety meds and hav bn on them for 8 months - they cant find anything else that works/i dont react badly to. But now iv got the scenario where my body is addicted to them and i hav to go into hospital to get off them! Not a good situation! Plus how do i get off them without a suitable alternative?

There has to be an answer for me right? I keep telling myself that but i frequently dont believe it!

In glad u r doing a lot better on the new meds @Sad2 . Take care.

Thinking of u @BryanaCamp . Hope ur day is going well. Xxx

Hi @Gazza75 , thanks so much for thinking of me, for ur warm thoughts and kind wishes. I rly appreciate it. I rly hope that u and @Sad2 are right, that there is an answer to this. I get so scared that i may never hav a normal existence and that this is it for me, which i just cld not bare. I rly hope thr is answer out there for me, and that it comes sooner rather than later.

Not looking forward to going into hospital to come off short term anxiety meds, but hoping i can hold out the 4 plus weeks to go private - its a big ask given how im feeling!

My symptoms dont rly abate. They are there from the moment i wake in the morning (its the symptoms that wake me) and are with me thruout the entire day. I try to stay occupied so i dont notice it quite as much but that only works at times and to a limited degree. Basically they r with me every waking moment of the day. Which sux!. The best i can do is try and take my mind of it for a while, but as i said, that has limited success.

Hubbies extra supportiveness is rather sporadic. Sometimes he is angry and frustrated and annoyed, and can be very hard and almost cruel, other times he can be loving and supportive. I never quite know what im going to get! But i do appreciate the supportive times, and struggle tremendously when he is the other way. Just gotta take what i can get and appreciate the small wins i suppose.

Anyway, iv rabbited on enuf! I appreciate ur thoughts @Gazza75 and hope u r doing well. Did u hav a nice birthday celebration on sunday?

hi @Doglover thanks so much for your support with my new job, especially when you're feeling so poorly yourself. It's going well, the people are all really lovely & welcoming and positive which is important to me. I'm just quite exhausted, that's the only challenge atm, the commute is up to an hour and I've been getting up at 6am to get there on time.

I hope your day has some peace in it today. I agree with the others on the thread that there is an effective treatment out there for you, it may just be 'out of the box' so you may need to do a lot of independent research to find different things to try out. Are you able to research on the internet?

Take care & thanks again for your support xx

Hey @Doglover , My birthday was pretty good thankyou. Your fears are understandable. You are doing amazing holding up as well as you are and I really hope you can hold out for another few weeks to get into that private hospital. The colouring in might be a good distraction, I am slack with it now, but, when I was doing it tough I did quite a lot of it. The books, pens and pencils are quite cheap if you look around. They might be good to have in a few weeks for hospital as you will have time to pass.

The only alternatives I have thought of would be some aromatherapy. It's not going to fix anythng, but, it might relax you and make you a little more comfortable. You probably do some of it now anyway. The other is a weighted blanket or vest. I first used a vest when I was in the hospital. It is used for anxiety and to help you relax. I have purchased a blanket a few months ago and use it fairlly frequently. The blanket was expensive, but, its going to last a lifetime so worth the investment I think.

The hospital you go to might have a vest or weighted blanket so you can try it out and see if it helps you at all.

Take care

@Doglover how are you going on the holding out for your cover to kick in? i totally understand when you say " I get so scared that i may never hav a normal existence and that this is it for me" i feel exactly the same.from the moment i open my eyes in the morning it's like *wham* i feel it instantly.

aromatherapy was mentioned somewhere in this thread - i use lavender oil in a burner with a candle and it helps a little. i have a lot of trouble sleeping so i also try to listen to guided meditation recordings on you tube. dont think that ive got the meditation part down but it helps a little 🙂

Hi @BryanaCamp ,

Rly glad to hear that the job is going well so far and that the people are nice. Not surprising u r tired - this is a massive life change for u!

Thanks for your encouragement that things will get better - i so hope u r right, but i must admit i dont hav a lot of hope at the moment. Rly struggling in my marriage too which rly scares me. Me being in this situation has rly highlighted some significant shortcomings in my marriage and its all just rly hit me last night and today. I just feel so alone. I dont know how im going to get thru this, and how we as husband and wife are going to get thru this becoz i cant talk to him about the things that iv seen that r of real concern to me. I hav mentioned marriage counselling but he wasnt too keen and we cant afford it anyway, at least not until he gets a job.

Anyway, dont want to dump all my stuff on u (any more than i alrdy have!) when uv got enuf on ur plate at the mo.

Thinking of u and trust that all is still going well with the job. Really hope u r enjoying it.

Sending hugs ur way.

💛 Doglover