To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @Ali11 , thanks for checking in on me. Things r crazy tough here, cant even begin to describe. For reasons outlined elsewhere on the forum i feel totally trapped and am so scared im never going to get better. Every day is torture and i dont know how long i can bear this. My symptoms r so physical, the burning sensation in my head, face and body, head swimming, feeling of head lifting, but the burning sensation is the worst. The symptoms never leave and it is torture every day. I dont know how much more i can bare. And nobody will listen to me re sensitivities to meds, they think its just all in my head. Im so scared @Ali11 , scared that this is it for me.

Its great that u hav that outlook @Sad2 , your doing better than me. My outlook is really negative at the mo, i hav no confidence at all in a positive outcome to my situation. I do hav some family around me who offer varying degrees of support but none can take away the torturous symptoms i experience every day. Neither can medication it appears. And thats what i want more than anything, to b rid of the physical symptoms that are ever present every day..

Im glad this forum has bn a grt help to u @Sad2 , and im glad u have the strength to hav that positive outlook and hope for the future. Its something very important that is missig from my life at present. I hope that can change sometime soon!

Take care of u @Sad2 . Xxx

hi @Doglover thank you for your sympathies and the flowers & hug, it was very sweet & generous of you, and when you're feeling so poorly yourself. My mind is still not very well but I feel a bit better & had a helpful chat with my psychiatrist.

Have you tried acupuncture or any other alternative modalities for pain relief? It sounds like you could really do with some releif from your psysical symptoms, I had some success with acupuncture & other things in the past for pain relief.

Hi @BryanaCamp , rly nice to see u back, and ur welcome.

Im glad u r feeling a little better and had an appointment with ur psychiatrist that made a difference for u.

Is there any possibility for u to change where u r volunteering so u dont hav to deal with that guy anymore? Doesnt sound like hes going to change netime soon.

Thanks for ur suggestion re acupuncture. But its not rly pain i experience per se, its a burning sensation on the inside, body, face, head. Also like my head is swimming inside my skull, cant think straight nemore!. Thats not all i experience but thays what drives me to distraction! I believe i know what its caused by but no one will listen to me and even if they did, it probably wldnt make ne differrnce anyway bcoz it wld involve getting off the meds which is a catch 22 bcoz i cant abruptly stop the meds but to taper them down is torture due to how bad the symptoms r. Its hard to explain.

But i dont want to burden u too much as i know u r still recovering and doing it tough yourself. I rly hope u continue to improve quickly @BryanaCamp . Thinking of u. Xx

hi @Doglover gosh those burning sensations sound horrible and very distracting. I wouldn't dismiss acupuncture as I have found it very effective for many mind-body problems that caused me a lot of suffering long term which in turn made my anxiety much worse.

I'm not doing any other volunteer work as I've got a new job, start Monday. My managers at my volunteer position have been so kind & awesome I feel obligated to stay on for a while and not just ditch them becuase I've got paid work. They are the only reason I have paid work as they were such supportive referees. I don't want to be a whistleblower about this guy's conduct as it's too stressful & exhausting. I may just have a few weeks off volunteering, I'll see how I go. I've baked a choccy cake today for a dinner party tonight & I've done a high intensity workout & walked 5 kms this morning so that's good.

how are things with your family & hubby? How's your doggy going with her injury?

Hi @Doglover

i know what you mean by the physical symptoms, they’re insidious. I’m trying to approach each day as the new day that it is. I still have good & bad days but I’m hoping to have more good than bad on this journey. Is it possible for you to discuss the medication issues with a new doctor?

I feel for you @doglover and I hope you find improvement soon. If you have any kind of interest or hobby maybe you can try to zone out by doing that a little bit to start with.

Hi @BryanaCamp , yes they are horrible, torturous and distracting. I pretty much cant think of anything else. All that goes thru my head all the time is the thoughts about how my head feels, how i cant even think straight, how i cant see a way out of this, how i feel trapped, how im so scared that this is it for me. Thats it, thats all there is. Even when im trying to distract myself, thats still whats going round and around in my head. The thoughts and the physical symptoms together are just torturous!

Thats great about the new job @BryanaCamp , i had forgotten, sorry. My head is like a sieve. Is it part time? What will u be doing? Thats very exciting for u. Lovely that the ppl u volunteer with gave u such a gd reference and assisted u in getting the new job. I can understand u wanting to repay the favour by continuing to volunteer where u r.

Sounds like uv had a busy day so far. Wev done the fruit n veg shop (did the main shop last night) and got card for my hubbys son for his bday tmrw, thats about it. Plan to go out a bit later, if i can avoid the rain, and giv pups some exercise.

Doggy is doing well, she seems to hav overcome whatever was ailing her. I hav taken her for several lots of exercise that include running but not as vigorously as before, and no jumping up to catch balls - and she seems to hav handled it well. Things r ok with hubby. He seems to b a little bit better in his support of me, i can talk to him a little more, but not too much. But some improvement is better than none right?! Jusr wish there wld b an improvement in me and my condition!!!

All the very best for ur new job @BryanaCamp . Best wishes for ur first day, and week. I hope it goes rly well for u. Will b thinking of u. Xxx

Hi @Sad2 , so u hav bad physical symptoms too? Are they nething like mine? Mine just never go away. Its good that u are approaching 1 day at a time, each day as a new day. I need to do that but i dont seem to b very good at it!

My pdoc offered to refer me for a second opinion when i saw him on thursday re what i believe to b the problem versus what he believes to b the problem. I didnt take him up on it as i knew they wld say exactly the same thing. I had to change gps bcoz mine left the practice but the new one has bn on long service from almost the time my old one left the practice so hav only bn able to see him once 2 months ago and hes still not back yet. I did see him once tho when my previous gp was away and expressed my concerns re ingredients in meds causing me problems and he was just as dismissive as my own doctor, so i wldnt get ne joy there even if he was here. So i feel pretty much trapped in a terrible situation that i hav no idea how im going to get out of!?

Focusing on a hobby is a good idea, thanks @Sad2 . Even though i hav multiple apptments, and i try and keep myself busy with hiusework, i often struggle to fill in the days and that can be really tough. I need to find sone things that i enjoy that i can do in that time. I do knit from time to time (tho im very basic - theres only so many scarves one can knit)! Mayb i could see if i could learn to knit better and be able to knit other things, like beanies. I was also thinking of those mindfullness colouring in books, maybe that wld b a good thing to do. Anyway, thanks for getting me thinking @Sad2 , hopefully il come up with a few good ideas to try n take my mind off things.

Best wishes to u and keep up the great attitude that u r adopting, im sure that will b helping u.

💙 Doglover

you bet, some improvement is fantastic @Doglover , a significant achievement. I'm glad hubby is a bit more supportive. And I'm so glad your doggy is improving, that's great news

I wish I could do something to help with your symptoms. Have you ever tried acupuncture?

Don't lose hope @Doglover I'm sure there is something out there for you that will bring you relief, It just may take a lot of trial and error. I know from experience that trial & error is very painful both physically and psychologically. I was driven to extremes of social isolation and substance abuse at times the pain was so intense and unrelenting. And somehow I got better so I believe that if I can you can too.

hugs xx

Thanks @BryanaCamp , yes il take ne improvement in the way hubby relates with me and communicates with me. And doggie seems back to her normal self which is great. We take it a lot easier on her now tho, her exercise is not nearly as vigorous as it was, shes a bit older now and cant afford to push her too hard. As much as she wld go 100 mile an hour all the time if we wld let her! Haha.

I havnt tried acupuncture, im not rly into practices that work on energies like acupuncture does. Thats just me.

Thanks so much for ur encouragement @BryanaCamp . You rly hav bn through a lot. I feel for u for all that u have been thru. But it is a amazing that here u r now well enough to be not only volunteering but now starting a new job. That rly is awesome and i rly should take encouragement from that. I need to believe as u said that if u can get better with all u hav bn thru then i can too.

How r u feeling about starting the new job? Excited? You didnt mention what the job is (totally ok if u dont want to), just interested to hear more about it if ur happy to share.

Hugs to u @BryanaCamp and thank u for ur support and encouragement, i rly appreciate it.

💜 & hugs.