Looking for advice

If it means anything, today I cried while walking home from work because I do not understand the situation I described.

hey @P12! just came across your posts now (feel free to tag members so that we can be notified of your posts too 😊)

i'm so sorry to hear that the person didn't communicate to you earlier!!! it's definitely not fair on you at all. if they wanted to cancel/change the plans again, they should've let you know before who already got there. did they at least have a good reason for going to that other event?

if someone isn't respectful of your time, they're not deserving of you!! sending you gentle hugs 💙

I am feeling depressed, stressed, disappointed, lonely, and tired again. I haven't overcome the challenges I described when I began my thread six years ago despite my best efforts to do it.

Hey @P12 ,

Welcome back! Great to have an update, no matter the update.

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been the best.

I hear you are doing what you can to improve, but things are still as they are.

In the six years, have you noticed any shifts at all? I guess, MH has its ups and downs. Things can be pretty bad, but there are often levels of 'bad'... it's like a bit of a spectrum I guess. Do you think this depressed feelings has shifted at all over the past few years? Doesn't mean it's gone, but rather, it's 'changed'?

Hi @tyme

I think my feelings and thoughts have changed in waves or cycles over the past several years. Sometimes they are positive and sometimes they are negative. The part I am most concerned about is that on average they seem to more negative than when I was younger. It seems I am in a cycle which I can't escape no matter how hard I try. I wish I understood why they could not be like they when I was happier overall.

It happens sometimes. @P12 Then again, if it goes on for too long, it may be good to speak to a professional.

I've certainly had reallly low periods in my life, and they lasted years.

Just because you are feeling down, it doesn't mean you will stay in that place forever.

There can be some really helpful therapies out there that help shift some of the thinking cycles e.g. schema therapy, CBT, DBT, ACT

Have you chatted to a professional recently about how you're going?

Hi @tyme

I speak with psychologists, counsellors, and other practitioners relatively regularly. You made a good suggestion, thanks. I have a new meeting with my clinical psychologist in two weeks.

Good on you @P12 .

How's today been going for you?

Hi @tyme

Yesterday I was walking by myself the whole day. It was calming because I think some of my distress comes from being around other people where I don't fit. Then it was troubling because I realised again that I would like to have proper friends but I don't.

"Proper friends". What does this look like for you? I certainly understand that sometimes we just need time out and time alone. Then, as social beings, we also need to connect with others. Whilst you say you don't have proper friends, when thinking about it, who do you connect with most? @P12

To be honest, I have to say I don't have proper friends either. I'm starting to connect with people more, but not enough to say they are 'friends'.

Hence I'm interested to know what 'proper friends' mean to you.

Also, I have to say it was good to hear that you managed a pleasant walk for yourself. Did you get up to much else today?