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I'm sorry

MDTSenior Contributor03 June 2019, 9:37 pm AEST

I'm sorry

Hi there everyone. Lately I haven't been getting much out of the forums and to some extent it's actually making me a bit anxious. One or two weeks ago I took a break for a few days and it was good because it allowed me to focus on other things. I don't blame anyone on here for anything bad that has happened, but I sometimes feel like there is a bit of a clique or groups that I can't really be a part of. I usually try to tag many people in my posts, sometimes joining in on other ones but I feel like this is probably just annoying a lot of people. It's just a weird feeling I have and I find that checking the forum too much can make that anxiety worse. Lately I'm just not getting support on here as much as I used to. I appreciate that everyone is going through their own battles with mental health, but I do sometimes feel that talking about successes I have had are not helping other people and so I feel like I'm getting ignored. There have been a few times in the past week or two that have made me feel uncomfortable on here. I don't want to single people out.

I am not going to delete my account. But I am going to limit the amount of times I check the forums. When those times are will just depend on the individual day. But I'm doing this with a heavy heart because I do like it here, but I get the impression that people don't care or don't want to hear about my life and that some people are bored by it.

I hate that I am saying this, but I need to express this rather than keep it bottled up.

Thanks for listening.

@Zoe7 @outlander @oceangirl @TAB @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @BryanaCamp @Bill16 @eth @Bunniekins @Meowmy @Former-Member @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Former-Member @Former-Member @saturnzoon

38 replies

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In response to: I'm sorry

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 June 2019, 4:54 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

Hey @MDT i love your honesty. Glad thst you could express it and not bottle it up.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Wishing you well in your life. Love to hear from you time to time when you check in.

Sending you love and hugs ❤️❤️

Ps. No need to apologise. You’re doing what you need to do for your own health and well being. I get it. Xxx

In response to: I'm sorry

TABSenior Contributor04 June 2019, 5:53 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

sometimes I feel the same and have made similar posts in the past @MDT hope I wasnt making you feel like that.

In response to: I'm sorry

Sans911Senior Contributor04 June 2019, 8:07 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

Hi @MDT I know I used to follow you a lot, but that's dropped off. I try to keep an eye on what you are up to as often as I can, hence why I tag you from time to time. There's lot of other people here who I no longer have active communication with. I don't think your tags would annoy anyone, certainly not me. I'm interested with what's happening in your life, and I'll do my best to respond.

I thinks it's important though to have balance between here and our real lives. That's partly why I limit myself here, but also because I am busier in my real life as well. I'm certainly not bored by what's happening with you, and I do actually care about you as well. But do what's best for you and your mental health because that's really important as are you. 💜 ❤️

In response to: I'm sorry

BryanaCampSenior Contributor04 June 2019, 9:14 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

hi @MDT

I feel hurt and disrespected to be tagged on this thread.

I've supported you each day since I joined the forum, sometimes more than once a day. I've encouraged you with every job interview and day of paid work, every social challenge and social achievement. I've complemented you, listed your strengths to you and taken a keen interest in your successes and sadnesses as they came. My support has been heartfelt and repeated.

However, I have not been supported with my unemployment or job interviews over the last 2 months on the forum. I don't know what the reason for this is but it's felt like my job interviews aren't important and my unemployment doesn't matter.

The forum is cliquey but I've extended the hand of friendship to you daily.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 June 2019, 9:21 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

It’s hard at times to be supportive to everyone @BryanaCamp

we all struggle with our own issues and I don’t think people on here don’t support you intentionally.

@MDT Is being honest and open with his feelings. Take care @MDT xxx

In response to: I'm sorry

Unknown userMember04 June 2019, 9:51 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

Hey there @MDT, thank you so much for opening up this conversation and being so honest and congruent in the process. It's a really important discussion to have - and I am aware you're not alone in your feelings around exclusivity. It is something myself and the other Community Manager's want to continue working on, and now that we have appointed some new CGs we definitely think there will be further input around this. So again, thank you for your strength here. If there's anyway myself @Former-Member or @s-jay can support you please do not hesitate to send us an e-mail at team@saneforums.org - I can see you've received loads of support on this thread, I know it's not a quick fix but I do hope that in itself exemplifies just how valuable you are.

@BryanaCamp I can understand the feeling of frustration when you're having your own concerns peer to peer. It's okay to feel hurt We're all here to hold space for each other and be honest in the process (within the guidelines of course ). Just as you feel hurt though, so too does @MDT. It's important to remember all of our feelings are valid, and maintain respect as we share our experience with one another. If you (or anyone reading) may need support from us @BryanaCamp please do reach out on the same e-mail mentioned above.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

ethSenior Contributor04 June 2019, 10:24 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

It's only natural that in such a large group of members people will find some people they resonate more with and some who they have less common ground with. And also, relationships have been built over a long time for some of us. I've been on the forums since late 2014 so some people I know really well and some I am just starting to know. Conflicts are rare. We all have different life experiences and some of us need to shy well away from any sort of conflict because it triggers us. I for one have to put boundaries on how much I engage with anyone who instigates conflict. Perhaps you could start your own thread about how you are feeling.

P.S. Post edited. @MDT this was not directed to you. I hope you're starting to have more feedback from your job search, both here and irl. Take care

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

EveranSenior Contributor04 June 2019, 10:47 am AEST

Re: I'm sorry

@MDT

Thanks for having the courage to talk about this. I have felt like this too sometimes. I agree it has a downside which has to be managed.

I must say i liked talking to you on the chats and thankyou very much for that. I hope we can see you when and if you around.

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

BlueBaySenior Contributor04 June 2019, 3:01 pm AEST

Re: I'm sorry

I agree with you totally @eth xx

In response to: Re: I'm sorry

MDTSenior Contributor04 June 2019, 3:10 pm AEST

Re: I'm sorry

Hi all that responded. I need to go and eat after an interview. But just know that you have warmed my heart with your comments. I think there is a consistent theme here - we all find it hard at times to be on these forums and perhaps that's actually a sign of how supportive they are? We keep coming back because they are helpful. But I do see that this can sometimes have a negative impact even if well intentioned.

I gave a support/like and I just want you to know that I do appreciate the words you've said. I think it's best I keep low for a bit though. My post wasn't intended to upset or insult and I think that it has been well received so thank you for that. I'm just being honest and open - something that is really hard in real life too I think. Slowly things change though and the veneer can vanish. That's good. But there are times where we need the personal space.

I think what I wrote came from a place of confusion more than anything else. But thanks for your understanding. I'm not in the blaming game because we are all struggling with our MH experience and I think that blaming etc just makes it worse. That's one thing I really like about forums here, is that the sense of community is so useful. It's easily the best forum I've been on.

I see that will continue for the future 🙂 but for now I need to rest a bit from here. I'll be around still. But just not as vocal/present as before.

Thanks again for your understanding 🙂

@Everan @eth @Former-Member @BlueBay @BryanaCamp @Sans911 @TAB @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Meowmy @Teej @Appleblossom @Former-Member @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

PS @BryanaCamp I hear what you are saying my friend, so don't think I took what you said in the wrong way. I'd be happy to read up on your thread if you make one 🙂

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