Self-love and Self-Hatred

@SkyView7 I seem to be in the hospital bed you vacated I think. I'm not sure if our voices come from the same sources, and I know nothing of telepathy, but I share your connection with the animal world.

Hi @Owlunar I'm be back when I find some level ground.

I hope you're not too long in hospital @Maggie, it's not as comfortable or as quiet as home. I wish you a short and speedy recovery.

Sorry about your being in hospital @Maggie

Level ground is always good - I hope you can find that quickly and be back - you have some great ideas

Go with the flow for now

Dec

This looks peaceful - I wouldn't mind being there myself

@SkyView7 thanks

@Owlunar love the pic. Thanks

Hi @Maggie @SkyView7 @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Former-Member @Gazza75

Thanks for posting the article by Dr Google on People Pleasing Maggie - it says all I was trying to and more. I had trouble finding it again but searching finally worked

So everyone who is following this thread - you can find the article on I Found this Helpful under Useful Resources - I still have to read this more carefully but I will bring up some comments here and we can discuss them and work out how they have affected our lives

I've run out of time today - but I will be back later

Dec

Life and time pass quickly and things change - I had not forgotten this thread but it seems I have had a lot on my mind lately - still

Hi Peeps

@Maggie @SkyView7 @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Former-Member @Sophia1 @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @Razzle @MDT @TAB @utopia @Teej @Faith-and-Hope - etc

The Tuesday Topic next week (I think) is about Mental Health and Self-Esteem and these subjects are important and something we did talk about in this thread way back in June when we had a family emergency in my life and it all got a bit too much for a whlle

But I am glad that the topic will be open for discussion this week and I will make a note to be there and I am pretty sure everyone who joins in will come away with something useful just hearing how other people battle with self-esteem issues

And Moderators - thanks for bringing this up for discussion - I will admit that I was floundering a bit with it myself

Dec

@Owlunar I was pleased to see you post here today. I know you have had so much on your mind in these last mths.

When I last thought about discussions here, I also began thinking of how hard it is for many, if not all of us, to receive compliments. It is all woven together in the threads of self love self hate.

I remember my days when I apologised to everyone about everything, mainly me. Sorry was my name. I’m not THAT bad now, but it’s still there. Anyway, I’ve been visiting Dr Google again, and more food for thought.

Hi @Maggie

Yes - let's get back to improving out lot in life - perhaps - I am not sure - but if we can change how we feel about ourselves a lot of things will be better - after all we are the centre of our own universe - maybe there are people who don't like this - they want to be te centre of our universe because it's all about them

And that's not right - it's really hard for people to think well of themselves and I have thought a lot about why that is

Maybe it's because we start life by being very small and helpless and need someone to do everything for us - we need the breast or the bottle because without nourishment we would die - and we need to be washed and kept clean which is a yukky job for someone - oddly - doing this for my own children was okay - but I am sure I had OMG moments and little babies would pick that up as something not being okay

It can't be fun being a baby - being so helpless and dependent

Anyway - that's just a thought - it could be explored but finding babies happy to join in the conversation might be difficult because they actually have no voice

My most recent idea is that some people in authority don't like people being assertive - we can be called "difficult people" - actually I like it when people have a different opinion and if people are assertive with me I know where I stand. A recent event with my being assertive caused the other person to become frustrated - ah - the other person's problem

But when it comes to apologizing because someone else walks on our foot - which was the example given when I was learning to be assertive - that's a pity - it uses up so much energy

It's a huge subject - perhaps it can only be dealt with in small pieces - the object being that those of us who have been trampled on and even the dog's-body runs over the doormat - are tired and feel helpless and vulnerable and don't have a good self-image - maybe some people totally lack a self-image - that is a lonely place to be

I just want to help people find their voice

Yes - Maggie - I read back over my thread for a couple of months since my son-in-law had a serious emergency heart operation - so much has happened in such a short time

No wonder I wake up feeling tired

Thanks though - for your post

Dec

Thanks also @MDT

I hope your day is the best it can be too

And take it easy yourself

Dec