Failed ECT

Hi @MoonGal @Jennifer_waugh @Appleblossom

Ever since you posed your question about 'rising from the ashes' @Jennifer_waugh I've been giving it a lot of thought. I also would not say I've risen and will never fall again. I am not a fully fledged phoenix by any means. At this stage I still haven't the energy to really detail my life experiences as if I get into the past too much it can be a trigger for me. It took many years of being treated with meds I was having adverse reactions to and many traumatic events meaning I already had CPTSD, anxiety, depression, social phobia before a major life event (DV) saw me go into a months-long flight state culminating in psychosis and involuntary admission into a forensic psych unit. (4th involuntary admission in 21 years). But at least this most recent admission (2009) saw me correctly diagnosed at last with bipolar 1 as opposed to only being treated for depression until then. It turns out I'd been being triggered into mania by the antidepressants as can happen to some people with bipolar and had probably had it for years before diagnosis with 20/20 hindsight.

Since then it's been a constant process of learning, researching, self monitoring and managment methods, and getting the medication right. I have done a CBT course, learned mindfulness with 1 psychologist, had lots of talk therapy and kept mood and symptom charts with another psychologist (which I still use if things are changing too much up or down) and seen a psychiatrist for 2 years who eventually got me onto meds that are working really well for me. At this stage I only see the GP monthly for a chat but will be doing a new mental health care plan with her next week and probably do another round of sessions with the psychologist.

Another tool I have found really useful is the WRAP - Wellness Recovery Action Plan which you can google. I met someone in a facebook group who helped me do it for free. Facebook groups e.g. ADAVIC (the Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria) can be really good but some of them are not so good e.g. some of the bipolar ones I found that I'm no longer in. These forums are the best online support I've found by far.

SOOOO.....a long answer to a short question but thankyou for asking as it's helped me get an overview and see how far I've come in recent years. As I mentioned to you previously, having a stable home is also a huge part of managing for me. It's a constant process of dedication to wellness and vigilance in self monitoring but I am doing quite well, relatively speaking.

@MoonGal Your post iis SOOOO AWESOME !! You have come to it via such a complex path, but you totally rock the whole image and symbol of the Phoenix. It's a mythical creature, but it is completely about personal empowerment and undefeatability.

I relate to the Phoenix. I have had to keep bouncing back from challenging life circumstances, but your life story totally embodies it. You're amazing, and such an inspiration.

Hi @eth

@I came over to this discussion this morning to find you, then read @MoonGal 's post. Wow !

i hope you have a good day. I will be thinking of you, @Former-Member and @Mazarita all day.

Be well 💌

Yesterday you were so much more positive @Jennifer_waugh. Can you see that these feelings are coming and going, not constant. We had long conversation about hopes for the future.

@Jennifer_waugh - a very wise psychatrist told me once. "When in doubt do nothing".

Just sit, be calm, try not to second guess yourself.

You came to all this through a long and winding road. You have recently had ECT. Please, be gentle with yourself.

If you read back through yesterday's posts @Jennifer_waugh you will see you are not trapped in your situation. You have great ideas and ambition about the future when you're not having such a dark moment. Please reach out for help.

We ar here for you @Jennifer_waugh.

Please stay with us.

You are already in our hearts and minds, those of us who have been listening to you.

Sending you love and strength.

Just breathe.

Keep reaching out. It's never too late.

❤️❤️❤️

Hi @Jennifer_waugh, it's evidently a very tough day for you today and your thoughts have become very bleak. Can I ask that you re-read over this thread? You're initial post has drawn some incredible support and stories from members who understand a great deal of the path you tread. The pheonix is a powerful symbol for the strength that is within all of us.

It also lies within you but there are days when we get tired of the fight. The answer is to rest, take a day off from the fight, absorb support from here, and then get back to it when you can.

Can I also ask that you watch this video. It's a reminder that people have been where you are and recovered a better quality of life. It's possible.

Also, on a day like today, it's important to reach out. Here's a reminder of where you can call. These people won't have all the answers but they may be able to remind you of your coping strategies and of the reasons to return to the fight another day.

Life Line number : 13 11 14

Suicide Call back: 1300 659 467

Samaritans: 13 52 47

We're here to support you too.

Here @Jennifer_waugh

Call one if these -

Lifeline - 13 11 14

Helpline - 1800 18 7263

Crisis - 000

Keep reaching out. We know you're worth it.

❤️❤️❤️

Lean on our hope for you @Jennifer_waugh

Make the phone call. Keep reaching.

It's so worth it. You have gifts to share with others.

Believe.

💌 ... ❤️❤️❤️