The Fast Turnaround, Dizzy one day, Deathly the next

@MoonGal Have been thinking about you a lot. I think giving a written record to the psychologist is a great idea. I wish I had more words to help you through such a challenging time.

Hi @MoonGal

When I was visiting a psychologist last year, things were spinning out of control at home so fast, I was having trouble keeping up with explaining to the psych what was going on.

Listing what I wanted to say ahead of time helped in a variety of ways -

It helped both of us keep up with the pace of what was going on, because reading the lists was much faster, covering a greater amount of information in the space of each appointment.

Reading a list kept me focussed on doing that - reading a list - making it easier to manage the emotional content of what I needed to say.

Some of that emotional processing had already happened in the course of writing the list ahead of time.

It removed the need to be trying to sequence events and recall details under the time-pressure of an appointment.

The psychologist's attention wasn't split between trying to listen to me and take down notes - he just kept a copy of the notes.

It gives you something to go back to if you need to refresh your memory later about the events that occurred during that time

It was such an effective tool, I hope the suggestion helps you, and others, ongoing.

💜

Got a call last night at 8.10 - Mum had another fall. Ambulance called and "on their way" I live 45 minutes away already had the new double dose of antipsychotic on board and anti-d, driving would have been difficult. Called Amnulance service and begged them to hopsitalise mUm, to read the Nursing notes. Told them about the ACAT assessemnt day before. Was a bit shocked the Ambulance took 45 minutes to get there though.

Very glad the ambulance officer kept me in the loop by calling every 10 minutes, I was melting down.

Seems her church friend dropped her at the pokies/club as she asked him to and she had a 'couple" of drinks. She must of then taken a taxi home via the bottle shop, there was a bottle of fortified wine on the floor next to her (20% proof). She was angry and beligerent with the Ambos - saying, doesn't want to 'go into a 'home', says there is "nothing wrong with her" despite ACAT likely to assess as High Care (dementia, mobility, nutrition, hygeine etc) , adamandt - says she is fine. Saying she did not want to go to hospital, luckily the Ambulamnce officers listened to me read the nursing notes from her 72 hour care from the weekend and listened to me they said they "had to take her because of xx rule" and that shut her up! (Oh, my poor Mum, alocholic, depressed demented, trying to be maniputlative but failing badly)

I was beside myself, hysterical at one point - on top of a day when I saw a new psychologist (always gruelling filling them in with the "whole moongal package'. I had been hugely triggered into PTSD because of having to 'recount' yet agan the details of CSA (even if it WAS in writing.)

Yes @Faith-and-Hope the short synopisis of Moongal's life, Mum's situation and why I need extra Psych support ran to 10 pages (laughing). She read that took a good 2/3 of the session while i sat with my eyes closed trying to stay calm. Then we had a 10 minute discussion (well I croaked and squeaked my way through it). I have 5 more sessions thanks to Carer's org referral.


So today, I need to keep myself 'safe' while being sick, disheartened I need to go to Mum's 45 mins north, get her a nighty and dressing gown, undies, singlets (you can tell the age of a patient by whether there are singlets on board.) and then drive the hour to the city where she is in hospital. I am SURE she will be confused, compliant, 'sorry' and 'doesn;t want to 'be a burden' or "bother me" and will say I am "not to worry about her".

She looked me in the eye last week and said I will not drink "I promise". God its like reliving my own teens only now I am the parent.

PS: I have laryngitis, cold sore and Acephalgic migraine that has been going on for over a week.

The migraine symptoms are tinnitus, photophobia, watery-lights at the edges of my peripheral vision, diffilculty with words, confusion etc,. I never knew that I had these types of migranes, always thought that THESE symptoms were medication related (maybe they are maybe meds bring them on) who knows. <sigh>

Hi @MoonGal

i am sorry to see you're in a bad way and your mum is in hospital. It is so difficult; I have been in a similar situation with mother in law this year and it's tough.

From what you say I think that aged care is the best place for her. She will care 24/7 care and you will have a break.

Having a MI and looking after someone else is very difficult. I am so glad that the ambos listened to you and read the nurse's notes. And it was nice of them to keep you informed.

It must have been terrible for you especially after seeing a new psychologist and having to re-tell everything again. It does re-traumatise and triggering.

Pls take care today, rest up if you can because being emotionally drained can take a toll on our body.

Thinking of you today, take care xxx

@MoonGal

Hi @MoonGal

Just got woken up by a wrong number phone call ... as you do ....

@MoonGal, you are amazing. So well done getting through that new psychologist appointment ! Traumatic, and yet you did it !! Thank God for those notes. I can't imagine you trying to retell your story without them. At least that part has now been hurdled ... ✅

(Hope you don't mind the 'tick')

And thank God the ambo's took care of that crisis with your mum. I am so glad you didn't have to manage that one either ... ✅

Sending you ❤️❤️❤️, hugs, courage and strength in taking your mum her bits and pieces. Try to keep a steady heart and mind. She is in the best place to receive the basic care that would be overwhelming for you to provide. Great self-care skills applied to yourself as well ... ✅✅

Please do something special and gentle for yourself today ... find a corner of joy for you @MoonGal.

PS - when I was learning to come to terms with my MIL, who was throwing marbles under my feet as I tried to manage 3 infants, I had migraines in the form of "rainspots" on my vision. They would start in my peripheral vision and then cloud in until I couldn't see anything at all for a while.

Guess who I had to call to come and help me ?? My ratty MIL !!! Nobody else was available and I couldn't leave three infants loose in the house while I couldn't see anything.

We later forged a working relationship (took years) and now there is a gentle love-bond there ... ✅

Someone had to teach her how to love ... I tried to pass up the job, but it vame back round to me anyway. Life is like that sometimes.

Hugs and hugs ❣❣❣

@eth, @BlueBay and @Faith-and-Hope - thanks so much for the solidarity, thoughts and care. x 3

My lovely partner called me as I was driving to Mum's house and let me know she had put in a call to her boss, explained the situation and he said 'of course, take the day (RDO time so paid) and she met me at the hospital. WOw what a difference Private makes!

I also received a call as I driving to Mums from a nurse, saying don't bother getting her things and medications she can take them when .... SHE GETS HOME. Righto, meltdown ensued, parked at the side of the road with me sobbing into the phone
"She is not SAFE at home, this is the second fall in two weeks, she is demented, had her ACAT but that hasn;t come through yet!" and the nurse 'heard' me and said I will do everything I can to admit her, and she did.

And she was. Safe and sound in a ward, nursing care, they will have their facilitaion officer sort out her temporary ACAT - no need for me to worry about that.

The nurses were all attentive, made eye contact had their heads around the situation and did everything they could to help me and Mum. I left her dosing. Now at homeand about to watch Outlander and then go back to bed.

✅ Mum has agreed to respite AND permanent care, finally. ✅

Thanks gals for your sound support and upholding of me, this is one very tough gig.

And although there will be lots to do now in regards organising her transition from hospital to care to permanent care, the worst is over (I hope!)

Wow @MoonGal

You have been on another roller-coaster ride, but you stayed strapped in, and what a great result !

So well done ! ✅

😊

@Faith-and-Hope - thanks, and I love the TICKS! ✅
I wobbled mightly but did not leave the planet, and your (and the other gals) helped alot.

@MoonGal

And your partner sounds like a real treasure ... ✅

🌷