Learning to live (and be myself) again

@eudemonism yes I try reading but unfortunately whether becauase of the mi damage or the meds I dont have a long concentration although I have managed to get through a few books of which I really enjoyed 🙂

I relate to some of this @eudemonism. Much of the time I feel like a zombie, just doing the things expected of me, but feeling nothing.

How's your day going today?

Hi @Molliex slow and steady today. Done what i had to, to get through .

I get tired really easily and often need to rest. Some might call it being lazy. But it's actually legit medical problem. So yea I'm often restricted to my comfort zone for extended periods of time . So i don't risk exposing my vulnerabilities .

How was your day?

hello @eudemonism

Depression has consumed me again..

it zaps all energy and motivation..

body feels heavy ...

what helps me in moments that become all too much ...is pushing myself to get outside and feel the world is real...

I connect so much with nature..I notice that I am desensitised at first..

when I isolate inside I get worse..I virtually dissociate without knowing that it is happening..I only become aware of it when I go outside...it is like living in a bubble sometimes..

I have two friends that I used to work with wanting to catch up with me for lunch...

I just can't do it..

so for me feeling lonely is part of my isolating myself...part of my illness..

I also am working very hard at not beating myself up about it...a huge battle going on inside...not sure who is winning at moment laugh...

many on here understand..you are safe to talk about your feelings on here and that does help overall...

thank you for tagging me...that has helped me..I hope that I have helped you at times also

take care all

Sophia

@Sophia1 yea it definitely helps to keep in contact with you and others on the forums...

Life is a journey full of changes and adjustments ... especially when taking into account ourselves as human beings and everything we gotta deal with... it's not easy ...

it is not easy in the least @eudemonism

we continue ...

we believe in ourselves...

we enjoy what life is as in reality...nature..people we meet..interests that we learn that we want to follow..

we learn to trust ourselves ...listen to our inner voices...follow our instincts...

pick ourselves up when we fall down ...

I am there at the moment...

picking myself up..

I shall distract my thoughts ....

I am trying that is something...hopefully will stop me feeling like I am falling...

Sophia

@Sophia1

My sleep was reasonable last night meaning i went through the 90 minute cycles and got my rem sleep and didn't get sleep inertia ... did some resesrch about waking up feeling bad and dealing with stress yesterday. . Might try to put what I've learnt into practice... Take care of yourself

@Molliex @Sophia1 @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

Hi all, i hope everything is going well for everyone..

I'm feeling under pressure because of side effects ... Desperately trying to deal with them and distract myself from them on a moment to moment basis is very troubling. No sense of normaility basically ... it gets very draining and is very complicated...

Got a list of jobs to do around the house but i don't think they'll get done for awhile if at all... And i either need to spend money on the car i got or buy a new one ...

My smoking addiction is a case of. Smoke, or become very nasty moody cranky and dysfunctional... i don't know anything else ...

That sounds really tiring @eudemonism. How's the distraction going this evening?

@Molliex just the usual snacking on food, drinking and smoking . The distractions become a burden in their own right.