Good morning @oceangirl
You and I haven't had much to do with each other on the forum. I guess we've crossed paths now and then, but when I saw your thread title I thought I'd pop in and touch base.
It's sad reading how you feel I must say. I do realise it's difficult when there's lots to say but expressing it brings emotion and confusion up. I understand I can assure you.
Sometimes what we write can be misinterpreted, so I'll come right out and ask; is it that you'd rather leave Sane than discuss what you're feeling? I know this one well being part of the forum scene here and elsewhere for quite a few years now.
Please, I'm not prying. I've learned that getting the words out of my head and onto the page is more therapeutic than non sufferers think. It's why forums work the way they do.
I'm not familiar with your story I'm afraid. I apologise for this, though I've picked up a few things reading through your thread and send kind thoughts and prayers your way to, in some way, help ease the burden.
Anytime you want to talk, just tag me ok. You take care lovely...
Warm thoughts;
Hope xo
👵🖐