why why why

Yes some of us try lots of self-meds for MI before realising how much worse they make us. I was lucky and knew as an 8yo I couldn't go there. I guess all I had to do was look at my mum.

Well done!

I think I knew from an early age that I didn't want to be like her, and I wasn't.

As an adult, and particularly as a parent, I had to learn not to be the opposite either. Being white to her black was always going to be a cardboard cut-out, although that took a while to understand after my dad pointed it out (I was incensed at the time). Learning to be myslef has been a very long journey. Crossed some sort of emotional bridge last year when I turned 50. I know I will survive and I am ok, and even if I don't survive I won't be taking my own life and I will still be ok.

Kind regards,

Kristin

@kristin

you are soo strong and supportive, i do not like hearing those words come out of you......

I think tho i understand what you mean regarding it, but you are awesome!!!! and should only think in awesome ways 🙂

You will be ok if your ever in doubt look me up on here and you can Vent it out lol

it helps sometimes when feeling overwhelmed to just start venting, in writing, it is healthy way i think to get out what is going on, and the support here is phenomenal,

or you can hit me up thru the sneaky sneaky 🙂 🙂

I will make sure i always check it from now on 🙂

@Alessandra1992nothing out of the ordinary Sandy,

I hope you have a super amazing awesome fun weekend, that isn't too busy 🙂

Hi Sandy,

Sorry! Just to clarify about my post yesterday - "and even if I don't survive I won't be taking my own life and I will still be ok."

What I mean is that I seem to finally be past struggling with suicidal thoughts, and anyway I know I will not go there - even if I do feel that way.

For a long time I have used a practice of imagining a steel door in my mind. If I ever started going in the direction of that siren song I would just slam the door closed and keep it shut tight. I just couldn't do that to my kids. I know how devastating it is to lose a loved one through suicide. For me that loss has ultimately been protective.

The bit about not surviving was purely in the sense that I might be run over by a bus tomorrow. (Do they run here, oh yes twice - it's Saturday - none Sundays! Excuse my rural public transport rant!) I meant that whenever it is my time it will be, and I will still be ok. Although I'll be flaming furious if it's anytime soon as I want to see my kids grow up. Both of my daughters are still at school. They need me, and I need to be here for them.

I am looking forward to a long life if possible. People in my family who die young of natural causes are usually in their seventies, and living til 90-something is not unusual. So you will all have to put up with me for a while longer

Kind regards,

Kristin

PS have a lovely weekend! Talk to you next week, same darn time & place!

Hi Kato,

Hopefully you've already found out how bad you can get, and now you can work on getting better.

Kind regards,

Kristin