why why why

Hi, just joined like 5mins ago. I suffer from possibly bi polar I had what they called a psychotic break from reality about 6 years ago trialled on a heap of diff combos of meds. Felt okayish about 2 year's ago and decided to wean off my meds without letting anyone know until I was off them. My wife was understanding of my reasoning and all was ok sorta maybe. I realised 3 days ago how wrong I was andi am trying to find a psychiatrist near me that I can see to get assessed again andwork out if I have bi polar or something else and get help for it. I can't find anything online my gp made it out that they are easy to find except I dont want to go into a hospital. Any thoughts or ideas from anyone would maybe help. Currently experiencing mania but control the silly urges I last about a week like this then depression for a few weeks altho I think I actually spike up and down alot more then I realized sorry rambling please your help is appreciated