why why why

Kato,

You sound in such dispair. I wish I had some wise words or other means to support you.

I am glad that you are taking a stand by not seeing that psychiatrist again. Some of them think they are demigods and can do more harm than good. As with any other relationship, know when it is time to get out and move on.

Is there any chance your GP or your psychologist may be able to help you find another psychiatrist?

Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and be proud of yourself for having the strength to take a stand when you must be so tired.

Sending a hug and channelling strength.

Maude.

Thank you maude.

Yesterday was such a dark day for me personally.

However there is light at the end of the tunnel.

With knowledge and realization as to how much I am still hiding the truth from myself from my family from my specialists. ....

I realized I had to start being honest with myself stop pretending to be fine when asked how I am

the facade that I put up without thinking is doing me more harm then good......

I spoke to my psychologist about yesterday and opened up to her about the fact I hide the truth as a way of making my life easier but it actually makes me worse then I had my first open conversation with my mum and dad..... they didn't know how to take it but we kept talking

I have never been so open and honest about me in my life, I posted my last comment as a way of dealing with my feelings I shouldn't have as it is not fair on others

next time I will write it down and I will also use the advice from my psychologist to seek emergency help as well

My parents have realized that I am gaurded and accept that is how I am it is not shunning them it is that I don't know how to be open I as funny as it sounds if you read through any of my posts I am actually a very private person. ...

But thank you again maude your comments are perfect

I am in a better space today and much more aware of a few things

Hi @kato

I'm so glad to hear that you worked your way out of the heavy darkness that dragged you down for some time. When I read it, I felt worried and concerned. It sounds like you were in a pretty scary space. Don't feel guilty or apologise about off loading. I want to say thank you for sharing these experiences. It's so important to share it, and not hold a heavy load all on your own. It also shows others, who may be going through intense times, that they are not alone.

Seems like with the dark time came a few realisations, it allowed some light to shine upon areas that could do with some improving. It's great to hear that you're in a better space today, and that you've made some plans about what you can do in the future in similar circumstances. I like your idea about about writing your experiences down to give your psychologist, and getting in contact with emergency services. Not sure if you have these numbers so I've included them for you for future reference. Maybe write them down, or cut and paste them somewhere so you can find them easily and quickly (just a thought)?

I really admire your raw honesty Kato. Hearing about your journey, both tough times and triumphs are inspirational. Thanks for sharing your journey with us...

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Emergency services: 000

Your local CAT Team: to find their contact info, get in contat with the psychiartric triage at your local public hospital.

Mensline: It's not an emergency service, but thought I'd include if you ever need to chat immediately to somone. They provide counselling 24/7 on 1300 78 99 78.

Dear @kato

Well done for having turned a huge corner! It is such a relief to finally make that first big step of facing up honestly. Wearing masks for self-protection we can end up like the man in the iron mask - imprisoned by it. It's so good to hear you've broken out!

But please don't overlook the courage and strength that it took to do so. It is a risk to expose our inner vulenrability to others, and choosing who is also very important! Your wisdom in both refuting this abusive psychiatrist and then turning openly to your psychologist is amazing to hear about. Thanks so much for sharing it.

Keep up the good journeying! IMHO that was a very critical fork in the road and you chose the one which leads to better mental health. Store this memory away for the next time when it is hard for you & you need to be honest about it - the first time is always the hardest by far.

Kind reagards,

Kristin

PS Please don't apologise for being honest or "venting" here. I've only seen one person do that on the forum in a way hurtful to others and it was clearly a deliberate lashing out, not focused on where that person was at in a personal sense (it was repoerted and removed). That is something altogether different from venting in my book - because it is venomous. Not somewhere most of us are at - we try to hold each other in kindness.

Dear Kato

I replied to your post of 06 Nov 2014 10:14 PM but for reasons I don't understand, it's not there.

Hi @Maude,

Just had a look around for your missing post. I can't find it, unfortunately.

I'll get I.T. to look into. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience.

Hi @Maude

I had one of mine go AWOL too, a while back now. Very weird.

Take care! Thanks for your honest & encouraging voice!

Kind regards,

Kristin