Dear @BlueBay We have known each other, on here, a long time, and we live on opposite sides of the same bay.
I have only just read this thread.You are very clear about the statements of your mh team and your responses. It makes sense to me why you feel as you do. It was good to read the responses of many different forum contributors, their feelings and similar experiences. The forum is a social experiment in community and mental health. Not all professionals in the field will know, have the training, or be aware of the benefits and full consequences of participation in this kind of online community. When I first surfed the net online I looked for something like this, but could not find something. We have all made it what it is and I feel proud to be part of it.
I picked up elsewhere that you were possibly struggling with a sense of being addicted to the forum.
Abandonment issues as we both well know, are a key part of of BPD. Addictions may fill some of the gap in daily life and social activities and supports. As with most things I see addictions on a spectrum. People can be addicted to walking and running if they use it in the wrong way. Personally I dont think anyone has given you enough support around basic misogyny and antiwoman bias I suspect runs in many families and society. Anyway that is what I picked up early in your posting that you were struggling with. Demanding you to say you love your family and still being exposed to non sensitive ways of relating is going to keep opening up old wounds and sensitivities. Of course we love our offspring.
More Hugs Blue Bay. I remember before you chose the beautiful image of the bay as your profile pic. That was a powerful choice you made. A very positive non addictive decision.
To be honest I was never sure that you would stay on the forum very long becasue you were in a lot of pain, but you persisted and persisted. I see that as showing STRENGTH. What is weakness or strength, what is healthy or unhealthy and addictive is unique to the individual.
Often we give your power to others, especially in the medical profession, and it is important to do that a bit, in order to gain help or expand our understanding and learn.
You are a nonna now. You come from a culture where women and maternal love can be very strong. I love the idea of you walking and posting on the forum and feeling self esteem in both. If you really need to leave, I hope that is a good thing for you ... in the long run.
