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Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember29 Mar 2019, 1:42 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Feeling angry about the injustice of your loved one’s illness, frustrated at the lack of sleep, the accountability of another person's welfare. Perhaps even anger directed at your loved one for becoming unwell in the first place, these are not uncommon feelings when we are managing the ups and downs of life as a carer. In fact they are more common than we realise It's time to reinvent the way we view ourselves as carer's, to discuss the manifestation of carer's guilt in a safe and gentle space.

Join us here on Tuesday April 23rd as our Community Manager @Former-Member facilitate's a discussion around working through guilt as a carer.

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The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2019, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

"guilty" you and "rational" you. I love this @au_gust Segregating these inner personas can help gain clarity, that's a very good strategy thanks for sharing.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:10 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

@au_gust, @Allanah , @Jo , @Former-Member

that is why I have found the sane forum soo helpful , to know that someone has gone through some of what we have been throught

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:10 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Hi @Shaz51

@Former-Member ... point 3...

Yeah... patiently waiting for the majic answer here lol.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2019, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Hey @Determined Haha offsetting the guilt? It's definitely no quick fix. Although I have heard some carer's using mindfulness to combat guilt. I know the mindfulness thing is a bit eye-rolley for some, but I suppose allowing ourselves that time to sit with just the awareness as an observer is the quickest way to access the reality of the situation. The Smiling Mind app is a good'en

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

JoSenior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:16 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Thanks Nashy.

One good way of releasing feelings of guilt, self-blame and anger is to express them by writing them down. I think it's healthy to have an exercise book and pen handy when negative emotions and thoughts tend to take over. You can pour everything out in writing knowing that nobody else will ever read it. So you can be brutally honest, including expressing feelings of anger and frustration at others. I also encouraged my son to release his feelings via len and paper and would like to share this picture he drew to describe what it's like to be heavily depressed.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

JoSenior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Correction : 'pen and paper', not 'len and paper'.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2019, 8:25 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Thank you for sharing @Jo Your son is talented. Really appreciate your insight tonight thank you 🙂

On the concept of Carer>Loved One relationship. Let's move to discussion point number 4 (Second last one for the night!).

How can we communicate our emotions with the loved one in which we care for? What are some ways we can collaborate more with our loved one throughout the journey?

For example - family therapy, designated weekly debriefs over coffee on how you're both travelling.. etc 🙂

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:25 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Thanks @Former-Member I will check that out.

My comment would have been more in context if I was here from the start but oh well. We were out of town and not long arrived home. In the eye of a storm so to say at the moment so all a bit hard to get my head around just now.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2019, 8:26 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

No problem @Determined 🙂 Happy to have you in the eye or either side of the storm as always 😄

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Apr 2019, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Working through feelings of guilt // Tues 23 Apr, 7pm AEDT

Duty calls with kiddy bed time routine but wanted to quickly comment on the last point before I drop out briefly.

This is a good question that I am currently seeking an answer to as it is impossible in our home as this only leads to a new crisis leaving my only option being to 'suck it up and get over it' I wish I was able to express my emotions with a healthy outcome 😥

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