Parents Supporting Unwell Adult Children

Hearing you @FairerDingo. I am seeing a psych forctgecreason that I can’t treat something I am not qualified to treat, that is seated in the middle of my family. When (if) it does eventually get diagnosed, I am going to need the support to keep walking along with it anyway ....

It can feel like a flood, but it sounds like you are taking the baby steps that are needed, and blocking from your mind how big the rest of it is ..... because we can only work with increments.

Keep taking care of you 🌷

Can your husband seek support and respite too ?

Thanks for updating us on how you and your son are managing @FairerDingo. It is great to hear some parts are now feeling liberating for you and we hope that continues. How are you doing today?

@SpinningDaisy .... this thread might be helpful to you.

@SpinningDaisy wrote:

Thanks, guys.

I had a read through the tagged posts last night, and was reading your replies...just didn't have the emotional energy to reply. My daughter has again been admitted to hospital, which means she will be exited from her current housing. This is the fourth place she has been exited from, and it means she's likely to end up in Child Safety's care.

The thing that is particularly upsetting is seeing her light her Instagram up with hospital selfies, self-harm selfies, all the while knowing that she will effectively be homeless again. I feel like she is addicted to the hospital (this is the fourth admission in two weeks), and gets some kind of kick out of an ambulance being called. As long as her Instagram followers lavish her with attention for this, I feel like it will continue.

Yesterday, I was kind of sad. Even mournful - thinking of what our relationship used to be, what it could be, and what it is. Today, I'm angry. It took us two months to place her in a safe house because of these behaviours, and she threw it all away in a week.

How am I feeling?

That depends on second to second. Right now, I just want to yell at her and tell her how she's hurting me. Tell her I need space and time, and that when she is ready to actually work towards healing and being healthy, I'll be here....bit otherwise, my proverbial door is closed.

I feel like that's what I need, but I am struggling to figure out if that is anger disguised as self care, or if it's actually the path I want to take.

@SpinningDaisy I am assuming you are under a health-care plan that gives you access to a therapist for your own support ? If not, I would highly recommend that you speak to your gp, and do. It gives you access to a number of free visits, and I find that it is a good idea when there are monumental and overwhelming decisions to make, they are made with support and advice. It also gives you professionals who are sometimes able to go in to bat for you, which is another way of gaining support for yourself.

It sounds like there might be a personality disorder present that seeks glorification of itself, but it takes professionals to work all of that out, to maybe converse with any therapists involved in your daughter’s care, and work out supports and strategic plans that the whole family can work with to help stabilise the individuals, and the family as a whole unit, with it without your daughter under the same roof.

Its clear that emergency housing support is part of this. Keep blowing that whistle Hon, and reaching out for support in all directions, and please keep posting here where we can walk along with you.

There is more to write, but that is probably enough for now.

@Smc @Peri @Libra

@SpinningDaisy I am glad you have the support systems in place to help you, and it sounds like you are ready to try someone else. It is very disappointing when we don’t feel a sense of connection with health professionals around our needs too, so continuing to search for that, I find important.

I hope there is a change of direction regarding this too, but it often becomes about the person themselves finding that life is not working so well for them under their current patterns before they can be brought to see that change is needed. I hope that happens sooner rather than later for your daughter.

Thank you to all the excellent people here who have walked these paths and gained exerience.

In response to how my son is doing, he has bottomed out and after talking to a friend's father for 5 hours straight! he has begun to behave differently. The person he spoke to is a hypnotherapist and psycholigist and the main thing is that my son trusted what he was saying and listened. He seems to have clung onto his job and has gone back to work, he has apologised to us and allowed his sense of humour to emerge again.

I hope he goes back to talk with the psychologist. The five hour chat was a freebie, but after seeing the dramatic change, I have told him not to hold back on seeing him because of money. I can pay for his peace of mind.

That is awesome news @FairerDingo !! I hope he does continue with appointments. So much difference for all of you .....

🎉👏🏻

That is great news @FairerDingo, you must be so happy to see that positive change.

My first time joining a forum. I’m shocked by the extent of mental illness and the number of parents doing it tough. I’m burnt out. Haven’t been to work for a week I just can’t motivate myself to get there. How do you recharge?