Parents Supporting Unwell Adult Children

Hey @LSR welcome to the forums! Yes a lot of very strong and resilient people in this world. We talk a lot about the need to recharge, and of course it's all linked to self-care which can be very challenging to implement with such busy lives. I am sure heaps of the community will chime in with some insight on that 🙂 Feel free to start a discussion around this here by clicking "new discussion" top right of the page. We also had a Topic Tuesday recently you might find helpful on the notion of recharging, here. 🙂 As well as heaps of others. Welcome to the forums @LSR !

@Faith-and-Hopebrilliant thread to start. There are so many of us out there doing a lot of mental & physical miles with their kids & their MI. 20 yr old daughter is an Aspy & travelling reasonably well at the moment. 14 yr old with EPD on the other hand.........I am just exhausted, bouncing from one crisis to the next. I feel so alone dealing with this - people don't see 'behind the scenes' & being a single working mum it's all on my shoulders. Oh well, just have to suck it up & keep plodding along. Love all 3 of my girls to bits & just wish I could take their pain away

thank u so much. just seeing a thread like this created, gives me relief. i talk about it to friends, but I feel like they don't actually get the emotional side of it. just having others who are experiencing the same as me mentally, it's a huge weight off my shoulders. again thank u

I know the feeling, I'm going through the same thing. I have 4 step children, 2nd one has schizophrenia. it's a real battle mentally for me. it's become a feeling of dread now, what am I walking into today, which personality am I going to get, how do I help him when he doesn't want to help himself. I can't just give up, I love him too much

hello @octavia

hello @Faith-and-Hope , @Reece , @LSR

I'm Also new to forums, I may be doing it wrong but all I'm finding is posts with no responses. So I'm responding to yours! I have a 19 year old boy who has bipolar disorder. So draining, I know how you feel. But every day is different and I am always looking forward if things aren't going well, while dealing with what this day brings.

Hi @LSR

Welcome to the forums.

Sorry I haven’t seen and responded to your post until now ..... it helps to be tagged (@username) but we don’t know that until it’s shared .... so sharing it with you now 😏

Things have been roller coastering in my world for a few weeks now. We have these bouts ..... one way I have learned to recharge is through self-care strategies. It’s a big one for carers, and even bigger if the carers have their own mental health challenges - but situational anxiety and depression often go with the territory anyway. Self-care isn’t a luxury - it’s a necessity - and the bigger the strain you are under, the more self-care needs to be engaged in.

Here are some suggestions:

- turning on / up the music

- hand, shoulder or foot massage

- waliing

- hand cream

- favourite colour nail polish

- finding a relief carer

- Taking respite away somewhere

- paint something

- journaling (dot points will do)

- studying

- gardening

- nice picture on the fridge

- cup of tea

Seek out a single moment of joy every day.

I hope this helps.

Hearing you @Reece ..... and welcome to the forums.

My situation is still invisible (no diagnosis around my hubby, who appears to have made “a successful life change” until you know the inside story and realise his original mental health issues have just reinvented themselves in a new form. Two of our kidults have gone spiralling. Another has major disabilities, and the two married ones have rollercoastering happening in their own circumstances.

As in my post above, I am beating the self-care drum .... taking time for yourself is essential to being able to cope. This is a marathon, not a sprint .... you need to pace yourself as best you can, find supports wherever you can, talk to people here who see and hear you and understand, and later on self-care activities, even if it’s a brief time-out with a cup of tea.

I will I’ll tag you, and others here to the Hot Chocolate Anyone ? thread ..... it’s a bit of a communal meeting-point for carers of all descriptions .....

Hi @octavia and welcome to the forums 👋

There is a whole lot of “which personality am I going to get ?” with the unwell ones in my environment, although schitzophrenia or schizophrenia-affective are not part of the diagnosis, for the ones who are diagnosed at least ..... I hear you !!

Taking whatever mind space you can for yourself is so important - I can’t underscore it enough. I returned to study last year, and everyone has had to find their own ways to accommodate this, but it’s only that my kids are now all adult, and after holding the fort together for a few decades, that I have come into that good fortune. It has certainly given me breathing space, and the opportunity to focus on something just for me .... I know others who study a single unit part-time to find that bit of space, but it’s not for everyone, and wasn’t an option for me prior to now either.

Fibding the forums was an absolute God-send for me ..... like a green leaf in drought. It helps you to know you are not alone.

Hi @Pearl146 and welcome to the forums.

My daughter in-law has bipolar challenges, and it makes things an ongoing struggle for her and my son, but it is what it is, and we try to build stability and positive experiences into whatever we can, whenever we can. It’s not easy though, and I often feel like this ....

.... particularly with what we have got going on under our own roof.

There is a section on the Caters Home page called Our Stories where you can start a thread around what is happening for you, if you want, and please tag me into it if you do. I have one called Need a Shoulder, from when I first arrived here three years ago, which I add to occasionally.