Not sure what to do !!!

hello @PeppiPatty , @Former-Member , @Owlunar , @Determined , @Jacques , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope

each day is different , today at the moment I feel ok , even though getting lots of advice from aunties and cousins

Hello @PeppiPatty , @Former-Member , @Owlunar , @Determined , @Jacques , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope , @Janiee , @Tufflife , @Starta , @Peri , @Appleblossom , @Adge , @Former-Member , @outlander , @Bunniekins

if mum wants to cancell the intersistion team ???

" is she happy where she is ??

"she is a private and indepentent person ??

" does she want more ??

being nearly 88 , is what she has now is enough xxx

my mind is going into overload about wednesday when I meet my with mum`s nurse -- do I go with what the nurse is suggesting or do I go with what mum would like ???

thank you my sister @outlander , makes it hard , I still like mum to have a few things in motion to keep helping her daily xx

Hi @Shaz51 That sounds like a tough situation for you to be in, & a hard decision to make.

No wonder your mind is going into overload, mine would too.

Is the nurse's suggestion very different from what your Mum wants?

Is there any "middle ground" (an outcome between the two) - that your Mum would be happy with, that would satisfy the nurse?

Adge

hello @Adge , the nurse and the OT wants mum to go to the next step of using her scooter and go down town and get back to her voluntary duties at the op shop where she used to go twice a week

going to have a talk with mum and the nurse on wednesday

So difficult @Shaz51 and I certainly do not envy you your predicament in deciding or influencing any decisions.

Like someone else suggested, is there any middle ground to be had here?

What do you think she needs Shaz? Irrespective of what she may want.

I think its fabulous that she is so independant, but in reality its becoming likely that her determination to maintain independence is putting her safety at risk.

Can you talk heart to heart with her and explain that you want to do more for her, but that you simply are not able to. Tell her how concerned you are for her, and how relieved you would feel knowing she was getting a little extra care while you cant be there. Try to get her to feel that she is doing it for YOU, rather than herself.

Sherry 💜

@Shaz51 Jeez Shaz51 I honestly cannot answer this question as you know your mum better than everyone here. What an awful position for you to be in ..... I wish I could say something to make it all easier for you. My mum is 84 this year and luckily is physically and mentally fit I have not had to deal with this problem that you are facing. My heart goes out to you and your mum xxxx

@Shaz51

I can understand your stress. Everybody has posted good ideas. I cant add much, just that YOU being there to be the mediator who is watchful and caring may be enough to help your mother, navigate the system. Ageing today is a whole new world, there are more challenges but also supports that were not available in the past.

Hugz Bella

hi my dear friend,

You are missing one person in this conversation... YOU you play an important roll in her daily care and independance, you have a lot on your plate, with Mr Shaz and your children and grandchildren, you are a super mum and wife, but even super heros can't do everything.

it is a really difficult thing when our family members don't realise they need more acute care, i know she wants to be independant, and there are many nursing homes where she can be very independant, they are not what they used to be, i know the one in my town, they go out when they want, they do what they want, they socialise with whom they want. the only difference from that to the home is you have your daily meals. cleaning and care 24/7.

gentle hugs my friend, your heart must be so broken not knowing what is best for your mum and you. i just hope your mum sees how much love and care you have for her and you only want the best for her