Not sure what to do !!!

Thinking of you @Shaz51

Yep it is hard having to be the rock all the time 🥺 Always smiling, (appearing) happy, and healthy.

It is hard @Shaz51 andyu are doing an amazing job at juggling xox

Hey @Shaz51, that is so 100, 1000% valid. Let me assure you that is certainly not a feeling you're alone with. While I run around looking out for and taking care of everyone else, who is there that looks out and takes care of me? But also, I have to be ok because they're not, right? A few answers from my own observations and learnings:

1. from what I can see, there are many people here on the forums who care about you and I'm sure look out for you too, myself included 😊
2. Absolutely not. It's ok not to be ok. You are human too and it's not only ok to struggle sometimes, but it's also ok, and important, to talk about it, let it out and reach out for extra support for yourself, just as you've done here. Thank you for allowing us this privilege and honour of the opportunity to support you just as you've supported so many here!

I want to say too that you are so very deserving of receiving that same sort of support that you provide to others for yourself. Sitting with you and wishing you the strength and courage to get through this. The tide will turn!

TideisTurning 🌻

Well said @TideisTurning

@Shaz51 , if Aunty & Co are so worried about you going away why are they not stepping up to help out and enable you to go away. Bit rude on their behalf. And definitely not fair on you 🥺

Thank you and hugs @Determined , @TideisTurning , @Anastasia , @Jacques , @BlueBay

It is just that they keep saying they are not available and will be away themselves and they are also questioning if mum needs to be watched xoxo

Hi sis @Shaz51 I'm not sure if this is an option for you - but can you put your mum in respite for a few days while you're away.
When we had MIL with the start of dementia, hubby and I wanted to have a week away. My psych said to me it was a priority for us to go away. So we out her into respite for a week. We explained it to MIL and she actually had a good time!!
we were relieved to be able to go away without the worry of her and knew she'd be cared for. Peace of mind.

it's just a thought .....

big hugs lovely 😘♥️

Hey my wonderful sister @BlueBay xxx

My mum won't go into to respite

When we went to Darwin 3 years ago mum was already in hospital so they kept her ther for a extra week so we could go xx

Mum says she will be ok xx

@Shaz51, I'm remembering back to thestruggle we had trying to convince my Mum to get help at home, and the current situation of never really knowing our Older Daughter is safe... It's hard, and only made harder when others think you're over-reacting and "they'll be OK".

I'm thinking it sounds like you really need the time away. Will your Mum ring the others if she needs help? And if you go, make sure her doctor and anyone else who might need an emergency contact number has her sister's and niece's numbers as first call, not yours. There's not much point going away for a break if you're called on to be remotely in charge while you're away.

While I hope nothing does go wrong... I'm somewhat of the mind that perhaps these family members need to see first hand what happens if there is a problem. If they won't step into that position, maybe they need a little push... which would happen if you weren't the one on call. Oooh that's a horrible choice to make though. 😞 (Been there done that. Mum couldn't admit that she wasn't coping until it got to a crisis.)

Very true @Smc , my mum is very independent, but I have let my Aunty and cousin know that we will be going away for 2 nights next week xx

@BlueBay , @Determined , @TideisTurning , @Anastasia , @Emelia8 , @Faith-and-Hope , @Adge , @eth , @oceangirl , @Appleblossom , @Owlunar , @Peri

Ohh tonight I amm feeling very awwwww as Mr shaz said he wants me to have a new house to live in when he goes

And I said he has to stay with me for another 20 years

@Former-Member , @cloudcore

@Shaz51