Thank you @Silenus
in my honours thesis I studied the Gift Economy and wrote a thesis about it. I looked at the alternatives to Capitalism and studied people who create alternative systems where, as you say, money was eliminated or non existent and, instead, the Gift exchange was the way of life.
I read about the gift trying to see if the gift alone was enough but, as I discovered, gifts are not just gifts that we give away. With every gift there is an obligation of some sort.
Even volunteers may volunteer not just because they care for people but also because they want some attention, recognition and to feel valuable in society. There is always a selfish intention, even in the most altruistic gestures.
You see, after reading hundreds of books, articles, and stories, I realized that money per se is not the problem in our society. The real problem is greed, selfishness and human nature.
We may get rid of the money as a form of exchange, but we will not get rid of the greed and selfishness.
Even you and I may think of ourselves as capable to live in a society without money, where we care about each other and we live in harmony. But that is a dream Silenus, it cannot happen because our human nature is not developed enough, or adequately enough, to permit this kind of life.
Unfortunately, even you and I would fail and would probably show our greed and selfishness. Even you and I are not ready to live is such an ideal world.
This idea that we are so different from the rest is useful in that it can lead to very creative material things and ideas, it can propel creativity and ingenuity. It can be a useful belief to be so very different., But is it true or is it a distortion due to our mental condition? This idea that we are very different from other people is a characteristic of Bipolar Disorder. There is not one person with Bipolar that I know who does not feel very different from the rest.
You say to me that you hide most of your difference to fit in. But difference compare to what? Most people are never themselves and put on a mask so that we can never know them. Most people act as if they were robots of capitalism, human robots that comply to social programs and ideology. But deep inside they are not that way, that is just a front, a mask.
Billy Joel once wrote a song called The Stranger. There is always a Stranger in us. The real difference between people is the amount of wisdom, experience, ideas and beliefs that have developed in their mind.
We are all the same, Silenus, only that some develop better than others, some are able to see the Light, while others fumble in the dark. But we all have the same mental abilities deep down. Some use more of these mental power, some use less.
Perhaps one great difference for us sufferers with a mental disorder is that because of the past trauma we have not had a chance to mature properly and the child continues to create problems for us.
If you can get your hands on this book 'I'M OK YOU'RE OK' it will explain in more detail how the child can remain dominant into adulthood, especially if bipolar disorder is present.
In conclusion, my impression of you, SIlenus, is of a person that has been able to develop great intelligence, a person who is critical of the world and of himself. This is terrific, you are far ahead of many in terms of road to recovery.
What was probably stopping me from going further, as it was indeed my case, is the idea of being so different that I could not possibly fit in, that I had to pretend and be someone else in front of people. Try and let go of this somehow destructive idea. Think of yourself as one of many. We may have subtle differences but we are all human, all struggling to become a better race, all contributing to improvements but all similar in our capabilities. It is when I begun to see myself as many not one that I was able to really get on the recovery road and make huge progress. There is nothing wrong with fitting in and we do fit in in many ways, unless we let the bipolar voice tell us otherwise and believe it. It is a mirage, this bipolar voice is trying to make us believe something that is not there.
Look at all of the ideas, all of the artworks, books, writings, inventions. Aren't these amazing? They come from people like us who once thought that they were so very different from the rest. Yes we are different in that we have a mental disorder but not so different that we cannot fit in. We can and need to strive to fit in. The world was really made for us if we find a nice perspective from where to see this. We need this perspective because we know, deep down, that we would never be happy, not ever, with any system of social organization. Our human nature is such that we are stuck here at this time.
When you are your full self, no doubt that some will judge you and criticize you for being a bit different, for not comforming to the norms. Don't make these people happy by hiding. They may have affected your thinking in the past in making fun of you, but they were wrong. Don't honour their mistakes, be your full self. That is because they do not have the courage to be their ful and honest self. Many hide behind the mask, have a problem with transparency, and are often afraid to get closer to the truth. But just as many would criticize you, many would respect you and value you. I would value the real SIlenus.
You are a super cool person, Silenus, very smart, intelligent, compassionate, full of knowledge and entertaining. Quite special in this sense.
But no fear, you are human, 100% human and, in this sense, not as different as you think. There are many artists, scientists, writers and interesting people out there and you are one of these terrific people. But don't feel so different that you have to give up on life and just accept yourself as a Martian on Earth, or a Fish out of water. Do you know how many people with Bipolar and other mental disorders feel this way? Most probably the majority of people here on this forum.
We are different in our similarities and similar in our difference. We are many not one and we belong to the human race. We have a right to be here, we are children of the universe. And there is a specific reason for our life. We are just where we are meant to be, and we are learning useful lessons.
I learn everyday from my fellow humans and in this sense I am not that different from them.
