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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT,

Your posts lately have been very inspiring. I have enjoyed reading your self-help discoveries 😊. Sometimes during our journeys, we stumble onto something that resonates with us and this is so special. So happy for you.

Hey @Appleblossom,

I find the rebalancing is dependent on what ever else is happening for me at the time of my triggers. The quickest recovery is when there are no other pressures.... add some other pressures and it takes me aaaaagggggggeeeees! Glad yours are getting quicker. I think that shows a deep self understanding.

X

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Former-Member Thank you but also I suspect it is a good part of the ageing process. The bit where we do have more control over our lives and so have some hope of managing the stressors. I am very careful about overloading my time, but also only really felt I could plan for a LIFE for myself since the beginning of this year.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Interestingly, I am on that same path... but a little closer to the starting line than you. I am now trying to be ME focused and think hard abut the effects before making decisions about things. I have made the mistake sometimes of thinking how great I am doing and then overload myself and BAM... right back to where I started. I have decided mid way through the year that I need to be weary of that and my life is good because it is not overloaded (instead of an invitation to add more 😂). And yes, I think that the lessons learned over time (and age) help with understanding management.

What are you up to tonight @Appleblossom?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Former-Member For all the wonders of youth, I would not want be young again. When in early parenting the pressures are massive coming from all directions, all it takes are a few things out of whack and things can go awry.

Been busy out and about so a bit of music prac tonight and I might even watch a film. My son like my new experimental mizuna salad with fish and apple and brazil nuts and mayo and mustard and lemon. Still finishing it.

Do you have long shifts when you are on for Sane?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hello and hugs @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @MDT ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @Shaz51 @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hello my @Appleblossom xx

Soo much going on here

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I see your determination @Appleblossom and I am inspired by it

Yeah JP will be interesting I reckon

I caught up with an old school mate last night. Boy how times have changed. We were sitting there drinking and eating and remembering what it was like in yr5

Although I still live in the same area I have seen so much change in myself

Good to chat as always Apple and I hope you've been re adjusting as well.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Former-Member
Good to have you around and happy to hear that you're inspired by my posts

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thats also well pull @Former-Member about how we can overload ourselves without intending to

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