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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I'm worried I'm not performing adequately in the role
That somehow there are people trying to undermine my performance
I probably sound paranoid

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey Hams, probably just try to relax now and refresh, so you can perform better tomorrow

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Agreed @Meowmy
About to see partner
See ya around my friend

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well tonight was not nice.
Started off fine.

Then it got awkward. Then looked liked it would be okay. Then it was awkward again. Then I tried to be honest and it went bad. Then I said 'we will figure it out'. Then we saw each other at the station and she asked me if the real reason I didn't go with her to the shops was because I didn't know what time train was there. Are you sure she asks me..... cmon... This just annoyed me so much. Doesn't she believe me?

I told her to text me when she arrived home.

Idk if she will.

Headed home now. May chat to dad when I get home but unsure. Too tired for all this. Probably won't sleep great.

Will see how I go if I go to work tomorrow or not.

Nite all

Chat soon

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

This morning has been cruisy. Just googling and updating things.

I need to learn to be WAY LESS harsh on myself.

I keep analysing myself as if I were someone else completely. But this is not possible. I'm biased.

There's a lot that occupies my mind.

I will see my psych tomorrow. I hope beyond hope that it's helpful. Or else it just becomes a chit chat. Nothing comes of that except repression.

I need to use my reason and logic and clear thinking to get me forward. I can't apply it to my heart. Or matters of the heart.

I over analyse everything as a coping mechanism


@TAB @Itsjustm1 @Former-Member
@Shaz51 @Appleblossom @StuF and others following

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thinking of you @MDT

i am like you - over analyse everything, far too hard on myself like i deserve it

i must admit i haven't caught up on your posts for a while and didn't know you have a partner which is great

how is work going; are you still having thoughts of going overseas?

take care my friend xxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

oooh @MDT Love the way you put it that you are biased about yourself ...

We all are ... aye ...

Even if we try hard to be rational about stuff ....

It is probably time to have expectations of psych, or move on if not receiving value.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Today was good with the psych @Appleblossom
I did about 1 hour of writing before I went in.
Took it in with me. Then took notes in the session to reflect on later on

I have my counsellor tomorrow too through work - its a phone chat.

Most would probably find that having both can be too much - I am the opposite and I want to put the work in to change the deeper structures in my brain and psyche

I have already made myself a promise to keep in contact with whomeever I sit next to when I see Jordan Peterson this year in about 1 week.

I'm on this path of continual growth and a lot of it has been through darkness and into light

But it has come through dark situations, painful ones at that.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @BlueBay
no worries my friend

It's all good

Yeah we've been together for 4 months now today in fact.

There have been a fair few hiccups but i put that down to the fact that a lot of the messaging and norms in modern culture place too many expectations on us all.

I think the fact she's from a different culture is great and makes it harder for me to hide behind my words.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ah @MDT you have booked a ticket to see JP. Wow.

I am really glad your sessions are worth it. We need the good stories too and yes you are def putting in the work.

I had a good couple of days, even tho getting triggered and then rebalancing. Seems to happen a lot, but the rebalancing seems quicker so that is a good sign.

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