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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sounds good @MDT I might ring up and see if can get paperwork for centrelink changed

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Done @TAB I sent the email.

Your turn to ring up about paperwork and then we are even lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Haha no answer @MDT its busy day for pays so they get a bit special. Will give it til tomorrow . Sent email yesterday

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Sam3 Yes I am still getting to know the teachers and students. All the teachers have been really supportive and I will get to know the kids gradually as I go. I am working with some individual students and some small groups so I will get to know those kids best to begin with. The kids are really lovely ...but I think all kids are lovely - I suppose that is a good thing in my job lol

It seems like you have given the public vs private school situation a lot of though already and are doing the right thing by your kids. Sometimes a square does not fit in a round hole and you have to find that right fit for your child - quirky is okay as long as he is happy where he is already.

Try not to beat yourself up about not giving your year 8 enough boundaries - they will test out teachers at that age anyway. It is early in the year so it is a good time for the teacher to inform you of his behaviour and you can talk to him about his responsibilities whilst at school - hopefully between you and the teacher his behaviour in that respect can improve. Remember also that they are finding their own identity very much at that age and they will test out adults in their lives. It is not a huge issue but definitely one to talk to him about.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I came home earlier than I thought I'd be from the gym. I also ran into some of my dads old work colleagues. Wasn't enjoyable. Felt like it was 20 questions. Almost said "I should be overseas" but luckily I didn't. Or else it would just feed into that negative loop.

I feel crap. So much for gym helping me.

@Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Sophia1 @Former-Member @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @BryanaCamp @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT. 20 questions rarely feels enjoyable to me and never when I'm not feeling great about myself or where I'm at. I feel like there is no right answer to them sometimes as telling the truth maybe wouldn't be so socially acceptable, but lying or prettying it up doesn't feel right either 😏. Sounds like you did well to stop that loop for yourself with it though.

Sorry you're feeling crap and gym didn't help. That sucks 😑

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sounding a bit down @MDT it's not easy but maybe having something ready to say or just acknowledge they said something say you're in a hurry and keep going,. Wasnt there a similar situation the other day? people do 'the brush' all the time .I'm no good at it mostly, but good at avoiding people who I might be uncomfortable talking to for whatever reason after seeing them lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I was sitting down drinking my coffee @TAB sadly I couldn't walk off. They came up to me. So I guess this tells me they think I'm approachable. I shook the man's hand but not the woman and felt bad. Is that bad etiquette? I know the man better. Bloody hell... It must've looked like I wasn't doing anything important. Oh great..

Hey @CheerBear I know what you mean about lying and such. When bad stuff is happening it's hard to fake it isn't it? Particularly if the voice in your head says otherwise. A bit like I'm not good enough.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I wouldnt worry about it @MDT shaking hands is pretty formal these days unless you were returning it. Not sure who shakes womens' hands these days except in business situation , well same for men, best friends maybe? they are probably just being polite and have known you since younger so .. no biggie

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

indeed @TAB
It's more about my own life that's getting me down. Crap atm.
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