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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks though @TAB

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I think I understand @MDT I was just trying to say they weren't trying to make you uncomfortable if that helps

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

things not brilliant here either @MDT people keep telling me I have jobs then well ..nothing, despite followups, need to go out for food today, not wanting to spend the money. Anyway, I did it all myself, if I'd managed to get to those last 2 jobs I'd be sort of comfortable. But, @#$t somethings gotta give soon lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT , @TAB

Hamsolo I have done a lot of that kind of answering qtns being unemployed for 7 years. Sometimes I give broad, vague answers, sometimes I tell white lies just to smooth things over. I never mention: I'M MENTALLY UNWELL, GO AWAY!!

"I'm weighing up my options, taking some time out to reflect...I'm starting a volunteer position next week so looking forward to that.. I'm interested in considering a different career direction in [insert area of interest]...I'm putting some feelers out...I'm keeping busy, keen to spend some more time with family"

These are all perfectly acceptable socially and even better, true! and change the topic quickly to them, "so how about you?"

It's good you went to the gym, you gotta look after your body. I did a short workout this morning & didn't get the endorphines but just happy with myself for doing it rather than missing another day of exercise. Ya know?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Would like to comment on previous posts but rushing due to pdoc appointment in 20 minutes. Hope you’re all ok for the most part. Why do I bother with swing the doctor if it’s a talkfest & nothing changes. Scared that I’ll always feel disorganised in head & in reality. Medication can only do so much so why am I spending money? Can anyone help me see the point of regular psychiatrist appointments please? Thanks

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yep I know exactly what you mean about getting it in there @BryanaCamp

Better than not doing it right?

and yeh I feel average but I'm kinda distracting myself now by listening to music and emailing someone about stuff i can do.

music does help for sure

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

let me know how your appointment goes @Sam3

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

good post @BryanaCamp or not much work around atm etc etc understand re just getting it done as stop loss to missing it Hope you have a good day

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT It does seem like you have had a crappy day but most of that is expectations you are placing on yourself and not ones coming from external sources. It is really hard when we get into that negative mindset to get out of it. Distracting is good if it helps us get over some of those feelings. You are a very worthwhile, intellegent and caring individual and I know it is hard to see that when you are feeling down - but we all see it here. Go easy on yourself buddy - we are our harshest critics!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Sam3 hearing you Hon and hoping your pdoc appointment is better for you today.

Yes meds can only go so far but I think also what I was like without them and it wasn't a good place to be. Even though you are feeling like you will always be this way it can get better. This time last year I was still in a very dangerous position and I didn't think anything would bring me out of the state I was in. It took 2 years of changing meds - having reactions to some - and trialling different doses of others to come to a point where we could say the meds were actually finally helping me - now I am back at work. You will be back at work next week too and that is no small thing. You do keep down a job and are raising a family - 2 huge things that you should give yourself more credit for - both of those things are amazing to be able to do while also living with a MI.

It is easy to say but bringing up all these issues with your pdoc is also important - it may be that you need a tweak of meds or even a change altogether - it can get better Hon but we need to be honest with our treating professionals and find that little bit of confidence to tell them exactly what we are feeling.

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