I have been here before

Yeah - probably ! It would be good to know for future reference since I don't believe I went much in detail at all @outlander

Thank you @Wenna ! 🙂 I have received it now - seems like it may not have come through the first time.

Well, the service I was with was called AMYOS and they cap off around 19-20 years old as it is an adolescent and child service (they go alongside CYMHS) @outlander

I suppose I should be a bit more open minded but I guess I am a very closed off person, sadly. I was involuntarily in hospital only 2 weeks ago and even then I dodged all follow up services as I often feel like simply a bother and talked them into making me voluntary in which I discharged myself against advice ASAP. (it was a hospital I had previously attended and memories from that occasion are upsetting for me)

There are a lot of things that are related back to trauma! I don't know why I am so hesitant to allow people really into my life and my mind.

Hey there @dazedanais I also remember you. It is good to see you again although not under such trying circumstances. I’m sorry to read about your hospital stays and recent breakup. That’s bound to have anyone feeling lost and pretty low. Remember we’re always here to listen and support you.

Hi @Queenie I remember you too! Circunstances are quickly degrading at the moment. I hope you are doing well.

So hard to distinguish what to share and what is not appropriate to share. Hate feeling like Im handing everyone my weights.

Hi @dazedanais

Hope you are feeling more settled.

You have experienced a lot recently. I can only imagine how triggering the hospital is.

I have had emails from mods about things shared re eating and self harm. Yes its hard to know what to share. I am slowly admitting that I have some disordered eating issues but also learning to forgive myself, and get into eating well when I do.

On the "attachment therapy" thing I know what you mean about it usually being used for children, but it also might refer to have an attachment disorder. I had multiple atttachments as a child. I am pretty old now. It could have just meant that the doctor did not see "you" as the problem but the circumstances of growing up. I studied a lot of attachment theory at uni but have not had much of it as specific therapy ... apart from the fact, that humans are social critters, and close relationships are crucial to who we are.

I was very dissociated at a young age, but various therapies have kept me going.

There was a writer called Anais Nin whose memoirs I have looked at ....

Take Care

Hi @Appleblossom

Thank you for sharing this with me ❤️

Eating is a very difficult subject. I seem to go from underweight to overweight every few months... I have never been a stable weight and my eating habits have always been on either ends of the extremes.

My childhood was very traumatic so I do understand where it might come from but when I am suggested a therapy that is designed for children... it does make you feel immature or not validated in a way... Which sounds odd.

Take care of yourself too x I am glad you have held on. Keep holding on !