Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
I have been getting treatments for nearly a year now and I have started to hide away more and more from society. My thoughts are so self-centred and every day is a battle and I have nothing to talk about because I have stopped most activities apart from work.
I am starting to understand that my illness is here to stay. I won't wake up one morning, throw out my medication and go back to how I was.
So what do I do now? How do I tell my partner that I will not go back to who I was? How do I tell my close friends? How do I tell my family? Do I have to tell anyone? Should I say anything at work?
What do you say to someone who has no idea???
I'm asking because I can see that any social contact now makes me so uncomfortable and that is also due to me pretty much lying into everyone's face. I'm not good, I've not been good for a long time. I feel shit, I look shit and that's just how it is. Take me for a walk, tell me a story, but please don't make me put a fake face on.
I'm very open about being bipolar. My friends, family and employers have had mixed reactions to it, both good and bad, but I don't much care...
I'm on a crusade to break down barriers and stigma surrounding mental health. Sure I have some failed conversations and unfortunate negative responses, but by and large the results of me being open about my mental health issues have been positive...
I told my parents I was bipolar a couple of years ago. It was not all that I had hoped, but even so, if I had my time again, I would still tell them. I could not control their response, that much is obvious. But I am glad that I was open and honest about it all. It helped me to feel a sense of peace and acceptance about it all...
My mother's response was to develop selective deafness. She never acknowledged the conversation to her dying day. A lifelong alcoholic and depression sufferer, I suspect it struck a little too close to home, and perhaps she felt at least a little responsible...
My father's response was typical of his generation, unfortunately. He took in my words, and a few minutes later dropped the clanger that "Anyone who needs to see a psych is weak", or words to that effect. He then launched into a half hour diatribe about his difficult childhood and how he had been strong enough to overcome it all by himself...
Not very helpful, but alas it is all that I can expect from him...
In my books though, openness and honesty about mental health issues is difficult at times, but necessary. If nothing else, it helps to pave the way for future more enlightened generations to come...
In response to: How did you tell your loved ones?
Unknown userMember
Re: How did you tell your loved ones?
Hi @BeeGee@Sahara@Silenus@Appleblossom@NikNik
I have been thinking about how I can tell some people, but then if I think about what information is available about bipolar - I don't think people would understand. I have not been hospitalised or had obvious negative manic episodes (apart from in my teens / early adulthood, but that could have just been the rebel in me?)
My husband still thinks I could just snap out of it and I should be trying harder. He is also angry with the doctor and says I need to change doctor (which I already had to get a second opinion). Then again he is generally very supportive, I think you're right, he just doesn't know what to do - nor do I.
I haven't been able to share my suicidal thoughts with my husband or my friend that knows about my current struggles. I find that even harder (and so much more hurtful for the other party) to explain. I did talk to my care team. Hospital is for me out of the question (at the moment) but I'm trying everything to stay safe.
In response to: How did you tell your loved ones?
SilenusSenior Contributor
Re: How did you tell your loved ones?
Hi @Former-Member
Fear often manifests as anger. To me, it sounds like your husband is using denial and anger to deal with fears of the unknown.
Bipolar, as with other mental health issues, is not generally well understood by those who have it or those who assist us in treating it, much less the general public of "normal" people.
Personally, I don't think being angry with your doctor is a particularly useful response. Is it possible that you can speak with your doctor, and perhaps invite them to speak to your husband about it in a joint session? It may well help to allay fears and concerns if your doctor gives some understandable clear details about bipolar.
Your doctor may also have some pamphlets or booklets or other reading material that describes bipolar more clearly. I remember the Beyond Blue website had some useful introductory information about bipolar.
It is especially difficult to talk about suicidal ideation. I, like you, have never had an obvious manic episode, nor have I been hospitalised. I have however tried to take my own life. I find it very difficult to describe to someone who has never been in that headspace, so that they understand.
The "snap out of it" thing? Ggnnggrhhhh... (grinds teeth) I have had that reaction all too often from well-meaning friends and family who, alas, do not understand the internal struggles and difficulties inherent in mental health issues.
My reaction is to say that you wouldn't tell a person with Parkinsons or MS to just "snap out of it". Bipolar is every bit as legitimate, serious and debilitating health issue as these, but because it is largely invisible and undetectable by scanners, it is still all too often written off by people...
We learn more about the brain every day, but still the field of mental health is in its infancy. There's a quote (I forget where from) that puts it into perspective quite well - our current knowledge of the brain is at about the same level as our knowledge of the heart was in the 1950s. We've still got a way to go.
In the meantime, us peeps struggle on not just with our mental health issues, but also with the stigma and misunderstanding that surrounds it. It's a double whammy, and it actually makes it harder for us.
@Former-Member - I wish you all the best in your journey of enlightenment. I hope that your friends and family can come to understand or at the very least accept that bipolar is a part of your life.
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
