Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
Unknown userMember
Living and loving someone with MI presents relationship challenges and often others cannot see why we chose to stay with our partners.
Being mindful of not intruding on others stories I thought having a thread where we can share tips and encourage one another would be of value.
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Mrsjones
How are you going? I have been thinking so much about you but was not sure where to post.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
MrsjonesSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Mrsjones
It is still early days yet, your loss has very devastating. Please be ever so gentle with yourself.
Are you aware of the suicide callback service that offers free counseling for those affected by suicide?
In due course you may find this talk helpful:
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
MrsjonesSenior Contributor
Thank you @Former-Member , just watched that video. Was full of great information, thank you so much.
I've been talking with Stand By Support Service which has been great so far. I saw my GP today and will be making a appointment with a Grief Councillor tomorrow at the local hospital. I am prepared to get help so I can try keep on top of this. I am worried that this will eat me alive and I won't be able to support my family.
It is still so surreal. I truly can't believe it.
I want him back.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DeterminedSenior Contributor
@Mrsjones
Thinking of you and praying for you here also.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Mrsjones
Gently lean into the supports you have until you find your feet. Do you have family support nearby? How do you get on with the in-laws?
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
❤️ @Mrsjones
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Former-Member
Its good that the cancer was caught early. Lets hope the whipple procedure removed all of the cancer. I'm thinking if the whipple surgery was done, then the cancer is likely confined to a small portion of the pancreas. Whipple surgery is a major operation and comes with many risks. But of course I dont need to tell you that. 😔
Its unfortunate that a post op infection has delayed the chemo/radiotherapy. Really hope that scans showing a possible recurrence, is in fact only a residual infection.
Mr Darcy, and you too of course, has had a really tough 5 years. Its so unfair that you are now dealing with this latest diagnosis. Its going to be a hard road for you both, whatever happens.
How long ago did he have the surgery? Yes I am aware that it is a very major and risky surgery, and little wonder a 3-month recovery period is expected.
Is the reduction of one of his psych medications for the purposes of his physical health issues? Perhaps not compatible with a likely whole range of new meds for his illness.
I know the prognosis is poor, but you just never know. My husband was not expected to live, only a couple of years ago, when he was at deaths door in a city hospital. Thanks to (at the time) trial immunotherapy treatment to treat his Stage IV melanoma (metastisized to his lungs in a big way) his cancer has now been in remission for about 18 months. Unfortunately the immunotherapy treatment itself has caused all sorts of other problems 😵 but we are trying to deal with each of those as they continue to present. I guess I'm just saying that there are constantly new and very successful treatments being developed all the time. Fingers crossed that the whipple procedure got all active cancer cells and that if any did escape that the chemo/radio will zap them. But like my husband undergoing his cancer treatment, he will likely be a very sick man for a long while. Are you nearby to a treatment centre for his ongoing therapy? Its so hard having to travel very far when he is so sick. Plus you dont need the added hassel of having to find accommodation at any place you are not close enough to travel to.
Meanwhile, continue to find things that he enjoys and which he remains capable of doing. Pehaps try to find a new hobby or something as well.
Sherry 🌺🤗
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Shaz51Senior Contributor
sending you lots of teander hugs @Mrsjones
been thinking of you and am soo glad you have come to say hello xoxoxo
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@Former-Member
-Whipple was 8 weeks ago.
-Meds tapered due to QTc.
-Phone call today, likely chemo only to start with, no need to go to big smoke. Will have more clarity after seeing oncologist.
- I will be asking what is evidence based treatment and what is not.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
