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Unknown userMember
Living and loving someone with MI presents relationship challenges and often others cannot see why we chose to stay with our partners.
Being mindful of not intruding on others stories I thought having a thread where we can share tips and encourage one another would be of value.
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hi @LizzieLou
Hello @Scoo , @Carlachris , @Determined , @Former-Member , @Sophie1
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
LizzieLouSenior Contributor
I have also found many times over the years that I was supposed to leave, as I knew he would not cope with life alone I could not. Now the belief is he must have not been so bad, he made a success of his life as people believe his version and mostly don't consider the fact I was the main breadwinner, and handle all the finances.
I just find it hard to understand the view that a person with a mental illness should just be abandoned.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Hi @LizzieLou and welcome to the forums.
That is one of the reasons I didn't leave my estranged husband .... it seemed incongruous to leave someone because they were unwell ..... but unfortunately without insight and treatment, a mentally unwell person can over-extend or emotionally impact so badly on others arroyos then as to cause everyone else in the environment to be under mental health support and treatment.
I still feel it was the safest course of action for us, and he has now left under highly disrespectful and contentious circumstances .... but there too goes his privacy. It will b come obvious progressively just how unwell he is, and by consequence, just how much we have handled "in-house" up to this point.
I think the hardest part coming through all that was that he is actually allowed to be that unwell ... if he knows enough to conceal the symptoms, then he knows enough to know that he is unwell.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
Hi @Frogger
Come and meet some others that care for their partners.
There are a few in this discussion group who are also finding the going tough at the moment ... you are certainly not alone.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@LizzieLou feeling invisible and unappreciated = ☹️
It is well documented that patients with appropriate family support do far better than those who don't.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Hi @Frogger and welcome
to the forums 👋
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
I agree @Former-Member , @LizzieLou .....
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Yup to that one @Former-Member
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Shaz51Senior Contributor
I agree too @Former-Member
Hello @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope , @LizzieLou , @Sophie1 , @@
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@LizzieLou @Frogger
I don't know if your partners include you as part of their care team, mine does which I think makes a difference. Whilst we want our partners to take responsibility and to do what is needed to manage their condition, due to the nature of MI the reality is that it is best practice is to have dedicated family support who is/are aware and supportive.
As a carer who was scared and confused, I found hope that we could live well in spite of a diagnosis. I made changes, got some support for myself and learnt about MI and it's treatment so I could advocate and support Mr D appropriately. Once I coped better, lost the confusion and fear, our relationship improved no end and we have less bumps than others we know without MI. I was able to be more open about my own needs and let Mr Darcy know the things I appreciate as expressions of love as well as doing the things he enjoys and I know he loves me dearly.
We are part way through a discussion on the 8 dimensions of wellness which you might like to read/participate in. Real self care not essential oils and candles @Carlachris .
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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