Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

@Rose0

There is no doubt about it, living with someone with MI can be tough and at times it sucks. I think we tend to be a little more forgiving toward our partners are in treatment and making an effort to manage their conditions providing they do not cross relationship boundaries (ie doing things we see as being 'not negotiable'), however their MI has a huge impact on us and looking after our own mental health is important.

In this discussion thread we raise issues but do try and balance them with ways of coping, particularly as we have chosen to stay with and support our partners. If you need to vent, there is plenty of understanding here too ...

If you don't feel comfortable joining in this discussion, there are quite a few other BPD specific threads that you might find helpful.

Today I was reading a blog where the writer (a pdoc) says "Once there is brokenness of any kind, there are no pain free options ... Do nothing and one remains in pain and is disabled. But healing and recovery from brokenness is painful.". He goes on to say " The first step to healing is to embrace the truth and to stop asking 'what hurts least?' and to start asking 'what is the best action to take to heal, even if it hurts?'

I think that this is so very true, it was only when I faced up to the reality of our situation that healing was able to begin - we cannot however expect perfect healing, as with any medical condition, there will be scars and permanent damage which we do our best to manage. I know I still have a way to go ...

At present, even though things have gone smoothly, moving stress is creeping in and I will need to take steps to manage it.

At times I so desperately want to say something that acknowledges the difficulties of each of our situations, the ongoing fears we have, how something that others share for a number of different reasons brings uncomfortable feelings to the surface. I want to instil hope that things can be better, but not false hope.

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 Perhaps it is a combination of not knowing how to articulate things, a fear of offending or saying the wrong thing that stops me. Instead, I try and say things that I think will encourage and I pray for you.

Thank you so much @Former-Member . It means so much. Sometimes there is nothing we can say about someone’s situation - I feel like that often - but we can say something about caring about who they are, caring about what they are going through, or have gone through, and caring about how they are ...... you do all that, often.

Bless you ❣️

Thank you @Former-Member you are such an encouragement for me and, I'm sure many others here.

Thank you soo much @Former-Member xxxx

@Former-Member, @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member

I am Tired xxx

@Shaz51 me too 😴

I don't know how you keep up with everything you do @Shaz51 . It makes me tired just thinking about it.

Hello @Determined , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope , @Differentlife , @Former-Member

@Determined, I don`t know how I do it too --- but last night i was soo sick and then this morning , did my sugar blood test and it was a low reading

I think that I'm heading for a breakdown myself..... I'm just sitting here on a Sunday afternoon trying to rest and get ready for the week ahead (teaching) and listening to my husband just badmouth my son for all and everything in the world. The last two nights have been hell with arguments about how badly done by he is and how bad his life is. He suffers from anxiety and stress but this is more. He has become totally housebound and expects me to be here for him at all times. I don't know how much longer I can do this for. I am beginning to hate the sound of his voice as it is always complaining about something or someone close to me.... and what can i say without getting into a big argument - NOTHING. I'm fed up. I go to a psychologist and he takes medication for his anxiety...... but i need more out of my life..... I've just turned 60 and I want more... problem is I still love him, but I don't like him much.