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Unknown userMember
Living and loving someone with MI presents relationship challenges and often others cannot see why we chose to stay with our partners.
Being mindful of not intruding on others stories I thought having a thread where we can share tips and encourage one another would be of value.
In response to: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
sharnieCasual Contributor
Thankyou for this thread. I have lived with my husband's depression, anxiety and panic attacks for years but it is getting overwhelming. Signed up here as a last resort and would like to understand what's happening and understand the condition more. I am so tired of watching everything I say and do. Perhaps my being extremely sick over the xmas period up until 2 weeks ago, has given me a different perspective into my life and how I live it - I'm tired
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
Hi @sharnie and welcome,
@Grayso you might want to meet some others who care for their partners too.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome @sharnie @Grayso .
@sharnie it is really important to begin doing small things that meet your own needs. Self-care is a necessary part of being a carer. You need juice in the tank to keep going and maintain the carer role. Here are some Carer’s Hints and Tips to Success that might help.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DunksSenior Contributor
Hi @sharnie
It is so important to take good care of yourself.. even a few moments each day to just focus on you. When you are mentally and physically exhausted you cannot cope.
Take care of you
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
@sharnieit seems so unrelenting at times ... is hubby actively involved in treatment?
Hi @Sasha_86 how are things with you and yours?
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
CarlachrisSenior Contributor
My own illness is what turned things around for us. There has to be room for ourselves as well. MI tends to dominate us with fear. I have set several boundaries that I am firm and will not allow to be crossed. I was very scared but they came from my exhaustion dealing with my own physical needs. I was invisible even my illness became an excuse for my hubby to play up on multiple levels and take away my quietness. Time apart is hard for most of us without the intrusions but I have one hour a day un MI time. It’s not much to ask just hard to stick to. But much improved our lives. The exhaustion needs to stop as I said to hubby or I will have a breakdown......penny drop moment with him. He hadn’t thought about it happening to anyone other than himself. Just hadn’t realized.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
DunksSenior Contributor
Some quiet time @Carlachris
That is what I am trying to create too.
Just a bit of time when everything just stops ... the noise and chaos
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sasha_86Contributor
Hi @Former-Member I'm doing well thank you! I finally found some time in the last day or so to get back here and see how everyone is going 😊 we are taking each day as it comes, medication reviews, job search and all that comes with that for my love brings the good and the bad but we are still strong and still connected! I take so much solace when I touch base back here I really need to reconnect regularly with you all!
How are you and yours? 😁
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Unknown userMember
Lovely to hear from you @Sasha_86 . Sounds like things are relatively steady at. present.
In response to: Re: Partners who chose to stay for the long haul
Sophie1Senior Contributor
@Sasha_86 @Carlachris @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Dunks @sharnie just looked at last few entries on this thread and resonated strongly on many counts - my darling partner is just over the hump of another manic depressive mixed state episode that went for a couple of weeks - was heart breaking to watch the decline into Alzheimer like cognitive ability and motor skill decline - when finally we got to the psych this Monday and he agreed it was an episode and that anti manic medication was needed - it has helped since soooo much - the silly talk has stopped, Motor skills improved and cognitive improving - altho much dizziness and zombie feeling apparently and nausea as adjust to new med - I’m so incredibly grateful for meds - then this morning my darling had a fall and called out for me from downstairs - I think it was a bit dramatised for effect but we then had to spend next hour on eggshells getting ready for work slowly due to back pain - now she is at work and I have a few hours to myself - thus self care time !!! This thread has inspired me to take a break this morning and do something I value that will take the load off me for a change - not sure what yet but it starts with a strong coffee with cream in it !!!! Wishing all the carers a coffee with cream today xxxx
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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