Partners who chose to stay for the long haul

@Dunks

Come and meet some others that support their partners.

Mania = yikes.

Hello @Dunks , and @Former-Member

@Dunks wrote on another thread

"Thank you Darcy and I hear you. Mr W is constantly elevated so my fears are around his big spending sprees, disappearing and losing heaps with gambling and grandiose business deals that could potentually land us in a lot of trouble."

When my Mr D had hypomania he did not have the spending issues. @Magneto might have some tips to help.

There are some specific MH supports available, I am not sure if they offer help with financial counseling and how to protect oneself in relation to manic phases.

What can be done for a loved one who inhabits a grandiose world, where the real and the imaginary intermingle and there is little or no awareness of how their actions affect those around them?

You can take the formal route of having them assessed by a judge or health professional to see if they meet the criteria for an involuntary treatment order. Personally I never chose this option, but I probably have more support (and patience) than most. But then you also need to balance the risk to the individual your caring for and the public at large. I’ve stuck it out a number of times until even the police can assess things are out of hand and off she goes in the back of a police car. It’s a surreal feeling, a mixture of shame and relief.

We are in the shadowlands with surreal, minorly delusional (if you don’t count the massive, hidden, chew-spit habit) and suppressed (mostly) emotional aggression that is not “bad” enough to call a catt team in, and he has the ability to mask it entirely if we did .... and there is no way he would come and get checked out for an illness he doesn’t believe he has.

We focus on keeping things as manageable as possible ..... enjoying the moments where everything works well enough for us to have family time / occasions ..... ignoring what requires treatment but we can’t make it happen ..... taking time out where we can - this is helped along by his “absence” with food-planning, c/s in secret, and exercise regime of hours a day ..... and now he is spending half the week interstate to stay with his totally-enabling mother.

It sucks, but until things escalate, fall apart, or there are medical results that flag the problem properly, it becomes a matter of either leaving or making-do.

We chose to make-do for as long and as best we can.

@Magneto @Carlachris @Lisek @Former-Member @Shaz51

@Dunks ... ^^^

@Sophie1 @Smc

@Magneto

Do you have any practical tips of how to keep finances protected so mania does not deplete them?

My son could use some. His wife has spend-mania cycles that crash their finances ....

@Magneto @Former-Member

It is tough going when our loved ones cannot see the havoc they are creating in the lives of their loved ones @Faith-and-Hope .

At times I struggle with the line between illness and what would otherwise be classed as inconsiderate behaviour.

Agreed @Former-Member ..... but the personality framework can also be what carries the illness also ..... so it can be almost impossible to know. Perhaps that is where it comes down to the person, in the course of therapy, trying to determine for themselves how much is compulsion, how much is choice.