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Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi all,

I have found throughout the course of my life that writing has been a constant companion to me. It has provided me with a way to vent my frustrations, to grapple with the eternal verities of life that confound and delight me, to explore ideas and concepts, and to try to put into words the often chaotic moods and thoughts that result from having a mind that's a little bit odd...

I have written lots of poems, especially in the last 3 or 4 years, dealing with depression and bipolar. They help me to process and understand some of the things that are happening in this twisted little noodle of mine. As such, writing has become one of my main forms of therapy.

One of the best things that I find about writing is that it can act as a kind of mood diary. I can read things that I had previously written, and it will quite often map out where I was at during the time of writing. The words I spread across the page act as signposts of my progress, too. As my self knowledge increases and my life journey progresses, I find that it affects how I write and what I write...

Often, we do not see the thousands of tiny little changes to our selves that our life experiences cause over the years. It can be very helpful to re-read old writings, in order to see how far we have come, what we have improved, where we have fallen back into old harmful habits, and the things that we have learned.

The language that we use in our writings and in our thoughts and in our speech is very important. It can reveal a lot about our selves, our states of mind, and our moods...

That language, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe that we attract certain kinds of people around us, and create (or at least influence) life situations based on our choice of language. It helps define who we are as a person.

Negative thinking, self-deprecation, self-hatred, these sorts of dangerous life traps are often revealed in our choice of words. So too are the positive things. It all starts with a glass. How we describe the glass and the quantity and quality of its contents, that's where language comes into it, and it can shape our very lives and the lives of those around us.

Writing... it is my solace and my main tool of self-analysis. It is my favourite form of therapy...

2932 replies

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In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @BlueBay

Self-expression never comes across to me as "dumb writing", but I can fully understand that that is the way you are feeling about it at the moment .....

With everything that is going on with my Wayward Husband at the moment .... do you know what I did ?? I painted a big, beautiful painting. It took me a whole month. I painted every day (maybe I missed one or two days, but if I did it would have been that there was something else on that took up my whole day).

The painting is big. It is very detailed, and I have entered it into a competition, I have had to send it across the country to enter the competition, which is costing us money, but it is the sort of thing that is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Our problems at home are big, but I didn't want them to take up everything I am, and everything I could do. I decided I was going to break out of them for at least a little while, and do something for me, something with the talent I have been blessed with, and now I am waiting to see whether my painting will be accepted into the competition.

That would be great, because then it would be part of an exhibition, but if it doesn't, that's okay ........ because if it doesn't end up being for anybody else, that doesn't stop it from being for me ........ that's not being selfish, because we have to care for ourselves. We are just as important as everyone else, and sometimes we forget that. My painting is reminding me of that.

I can't tell you more about it, because we are not supposed to identify ourselves on this forum, and that would probably do it if the painting does get accepted and exhibited ........ 😊 ......... so sorry about that ....... I would love to tell you, and show you if it gets in ...... but that part has to remain a mystery.

But what I am wanting to focus on is that I poured myself out into this project, and sometimes the painting looked like complete crap along the way - nothing like it was supposed to look like - but I just had to keep painting and painting, hours every day, until the true beauty of the painting started to emerge ........

If all I have managed to do is distract you a little bit this morning @BlueBay, then I am pleased about that ....... 🌷💗🌷💗🌷💗🌷💗 ....... but I am hoping I have done much more .......

I hope I have inspired you to keep going with your beautiful poetry ....... even on the days when it feels like complete crap ........ please, for yourself, and for me, and for other people here who are enjoying seeing you write, please keep pouring out your heart for us ...... 🖍 📋 📕 📚 ....... ❣

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

I wish I could paint. Wish I could do a lot of things.
I'm angry and I don't know where it's coming from.
@faithandhope
Didn't get the right wool the other day. I'll exchange it today and get right ply.
Maybe I could start my scarf.
I don't feel like doing it but I'll see how I go.
I always feel guilty doing things myself fit myself because I feel I need to do things with him. But what about me. I want to do things alone sometimes. Now I'm crying. I'll chat later.
Ps. I will keep writing even if it's only for you and my other friends on here. I haven't even shown my hubby. Only you guys. Xxxooo

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@BlueBay

❤️💜💗❤️💜💗 ....... 💐

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @BlueBay

I think you will find, if you can keep up with it, that getting out for walks helps with emotional control. It's like that for most people. So I would encourage you to keep trying to do that too. But don't criticise yourself for not getting to it either .... that would be counter-productive ..... just give yourself some "brownie points" on the days you make it .... 😊

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Faith-and-Hope

I am 1/2 way through my scarf. I have knitted away and without even thinking I have done heaps!!

I was thinking before that I want to go for a walk in the morning, on my own. Hubby has to work tomorrow, he doesn't get public holidays off. But, if I don't go in the morning, I will try and not be angry with myself.

We''ll see how I am in the morning.I will let you know how I go.

What are your plans for tomorrow??

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

That sounds really great @BlueBay. Take it as it comes 😊

I am planning to go for a walk in the morning too, but it's raining buckets here at the moment, and it is forecast colder and more rain tomorrow ..... I think I will see how I feel about that in the morning !!

I am hoping to go for a massage some time in the afternoon, if nothing else comes up with the kids. We all have hypermobility, where our ligaments are a bit on the loose side, so we tend to suffer soft-tissue injuries more often than other people, and a lot of emotional tension seems to build up in our muscles as part of this condition. If I can get to a massage occasionally I seem to have less issue with my back and neck being sore, and fewer tension headaches.

Walking helps a lot with that too. I have to make it important to go for walks, or that just keeps getting crowded out by other things.

So glad you are enjoying making the scarf. I love knitting and crocheting. I get to it sometimes and really enjoy it when I do.

💜

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @Faith-and-Hope and @BlueBay 🙂

Firstly, huge hugs to you both. I wish I could do all those emoticon-ey thingies on my phone, but the hugs are there all the same... 🙂 🙂

@BlueBay - I feel your pain, I think. I have been in similar states in my life, and often the depression would whisper words in my ear with my own voice...

I started to listen to those words. I'm not talking about "voices in my head", just the self-talk voice, talking at me... with words...

The depression is very clever. Of course it's clever - it's a part of you, and you are clever...

You may not think that you are very clever right now. But you are. It's just the depression again, trying to say the opposite of the truth...

Depression lies...

Depression is clever...

Depression knows all of our strengths and weaknesses, all of our deepest darkest secrets, and knows exactly how to tear us down...

Depression is often a part of us at war with the rest of us, always and ever emphasising the weaknesses and scoffing the strengths...

I found that it is often this internal war which is the thing tearing me down...

It was exhausting, and it also made me incredibly angry...

Then I started hating myself for being this way, or being disappointed in myself, and that just made me angrier and angrier, and I'd bottle it up, wishing to do no harm to others...

But inevitably some trigger pressed my buttons in just the wrong way, and it gets messy. Words get said, that sort of thing. Nasty cruel words you don't mean. Thinking back, it's like someone else's words, not my usual kind considered silly words...

Not now, Cyril...

[Quietly]

[Sqwaaa sqwaaa sqwaa...]

I put a fist through a friend's fibro wall once. That was the very worst incident with my anger issues. A regrettable incident, but all is good, and I have learned much about my clever Depression and how it can by stealth or by crushing force be so very clever in dragging me down...

As clever as I am, so is my depression clever...

I suspect this is a universal truth for all people...

The anger... the outburst... the consequences...

And that all applies for passive aggression too. It's not just the loud word stuff that we use to channel our angry energy...

Our angry energy is a powerful force. Think about it. It is a fundamental force of survival. It is deep-rooted in our animal brain, a surge of physical power when most needed...

That kind of energy is definitely powerful. And if we bottle up too much of it, we blow...

And so we channel or express our angry energy in lots of ways. We find the chaos of creative art to be a wonderful release of fight or flight energies such as anger and fear...

Screaming into your pillow sounds silly, but I've done it. It was a wonderful release of energies that were near ready to burst. Afterwards, I believe that I felt calmer...

Passive aggressive stuff is a dangerous form of expressing, releasing or otherwise channelling angry energy...

So now we have what Eckhardt Tolle would probably call an Anger Body, to go with the Pain Body inherent in the perception of your egoic mind, but now I believe I'm digressing too far...

The Depression dragging me down, the Anger lashing outwards and most especially inwards...

No wonder I was down for the count...

Then my connection to that seemingly infinite inner well of tears opened as the dam walls were breached...

The sobbing... uncontrollable...

Stalking through an empty darkened house sobbing until I could hardly breathe...

And add a touch of self harm or self sabotage, and the fall is complete...

That was my life. Many times...

Depression is clever. Anger is clever. Misery is clever.

But that essential part of me that I consider my self, it's just as clever as all that bad stuff trying to screw things up for me and my loved ones...

@BlueBay - you are very clever. You are travelling a journey of the self, being faced with all this pain, anger and sadness. But you are always learning as you go. You reached out to this forum, this online community, as did I and many many other people, all so different and yet also so alike...

We help and support each other, and try to share what wisdoms and experiences we've gained. We all struggle in various ways. I think that makes us all beautiful people. Even when struggling, we reach out...

It's not just the bad energies within that have much power. Love and Compassion are, to me, the ultimate life energies. Their power can sweep all other energies such as depression, anger, misery and fear away...

Love, Compassion and Awareness...

We've all got these wonderful things. We are all growing every day in awareness of our selves. This is significant progress we make, yes?

We get through each day knowing a little bit more about what makes us tick...

Sending hugs to all...

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Silenus

hugs to you xxxooo

I always love reading what you write to me and others. you are so intelligent and I have so much respect for you and what you write. you are an inspiration to me.

You're right - depression is so damn clever and so is anger. It knows when to rip us apart, it knows when to show our true emotions. Boy do I know that at the moment.

I was talking to my sister last night (the only sibling that I talk to) and she said that maybe this is how it is meant to be - my mum and dad not talking to me. Those words "meant to be" blew me away. How is it "meant to be". But when I stop and think my mum didn't talk to her mum for over 20 years for such a stupid little thing, something so minor; nothing compared to what happened with me. And when my grandma was on her dying bed, do you think my mum went to see her - NO. She was asked if she wanted to go but she never did.

So I have to try and think to myself that maybe it's happening to me - things don't work out for reasons and maybe our relationship will never get better. (sadgirl taking a few deep breaths to come down the emotions)

I do understand that it's so damn hard and difficult and it tears me apart - but I do have my own life; a life with my hubby and kids; and then hopefully one day grandchildren (something I cannot wait for!!!!)

What's hard for me is trying to not let these 'mind games' that depression and anger play on me. Try not to get myself so caught up in the dialogue in my head.

I totally agree with what you wrote - it's exhausting and it does tear me down.

But I keep on staying on here for this is my way of hanging on to something, to someone here that can talk to me, help me, support me, love me.

I know everyone has their own struggles and we are all different, but we probably do have some common things eg. empathy, compassion and love. Sometimes it doesn't show and other times it just comes out of nowhere.

I have my session with my psych this afternoon, I am going to give him a note of my destructiveness feelings of what i want to do. He needs to know what my thoughts are so we can work on it together.

I will come back on here tonight and let you know how I go.

By the way @Silenus how have you been, I haven't seen you on here for a little while and was wondering this morning are you okay?

Thank you for just been here. 🙂 xxooo

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @Faith-and-Hope 🙂

I could speak of the lower back pain and finger pain in most fingers and toe pain in 2 toes and the shoulder niggle and the knee lock the other day and the sore jaw again (overstretched the tendons or whatever in my sleep again... sigh...) and the...

erm... yeah... hypermobility is such a huge part of my life. It stopped me playing sport as a kid. All the other kids bullied me for it, and the Phys Ed (PE) teachers were quite brutal in their opinions of me...

But I ducked under the high jump bar and flopped on the soft mat, and I jogged up and walked around the hurdles and a hundred other things in my own way, because I knew the limitations of my body, and they most certainly did not...

I knew the certain injuries that would result from contact sports, running, jumping, even just turning the wrong way in an unguarded moment would throw my back out...

I was always carrying 3 to 5 injuries at any one time, even being as careful as I was...

Fisiocreme or however you spell it... been using that stuff for years...

I have a drawer for socks and undies, and an equally big drawer for my wrist straps and braces, knee straps, ankle braces and various other straps and bandages. The wheat packs are kept elsewhere. Ice packs take up about a third of the freezer...

Good old hypermobility... 🙂

Walking has helped me immensely. If I don't walk every day, I hurt...

It's all about awareness and guarded movement in my life. Constant propioception, or immediate threat of injury taking months, even years, to heal...

My whole "at least 15 pushups per day" thing has yielded results. It's firmed up my flabby man boobies a little, but much more importantly, it has strengthened the shoulder muscles and stopped my shoulder from popping in and out and grinding about in the socket...

The muscles compensate for the slack ligaments and tendons or the missing cartilage or whatever damage there is...

For the first time in years, I can lift my left arm above my head without pain. I can put both hands behind my head, and there's no shoulder pain. Yay... 🙂

Sending gentle gentle hugs...

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @Silenus

Like - ouch!! - I so totally relate

Yes - take it easy around the sports - I was an athlete and really did a number on myself - my spine is damaged for life - DDD and spinal cord canal stenosis from having the vertabrae pushing against the cord - oh fun - I read every word you wrote with feelings in my own body saying

"Yes yes yes - I get it - I understand"

Do you have chronic pain? That is a b*gger - I have to say - you learned wisdom from somewhere - maybe all this damn pain you must have from hypermobility

I guess what your PE teachers said to you have really hurt and stick with you too

You're not alone @Silenus - and neither am I - there is a world full of people hurting all the time

I relate - I get it -

Decadian

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