Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi @bipolarbunny another quote from you that speaks to me...

Now honour the person that lives in your skin

I have for so long seen myself as if outside of myself, looking at myself with the eyes of other people. Endless images of who I am or may be, like a hall of mirrors.

The mindfulness therapy I am engaged in now is helping me feel who I am more from the inside of me, from the reality of me. It's a relief to find myself in that place more, less anxious. As you said, honouring the person inside my own skin.

Hi to all here.

@StuF Thank you my friend xx

@Shaz51 I'm glad my poetry gives you an insight into the bipolar mind and helps you to understand Mr Shaz a little better. I can feel how desperate you are to help him and from someone who has no one in their life who cares (other than my wonderful therapist) , just know that by being there for him, by just your loving presence, you are being incredibly helpful. As someone who has bipolar, I think those people who care for someone with this illness are incredibly strong, incredibly brave and incredibly loving. And even if Mr Shaz doesn't say so often, I am almost positive he is eternally grateful to have you in his life. You are an angel Shazzy xx

I read a quote that once said, "I don't want you to save me, I want you to walk beside me whilst I save myself."

@Former-Member I'm so grateful for your support of my writings my friend. xx

@Mazarita You picked probably my favourite line from that verse. I can completely identify with what you say. I always viewed myself through the eyes of my narcissistic family and all those who saw my faults but never my value. It has taken me a VERY long time to feel comfortable in my skin, and I have learned that honouring myself allows me to move forward and see myself as worthy once and for all.
Thank you so much for your insights my friend xx.

Have a wonderful evening everyone! xx

BB 🐰💙

Hey everyone,

@greenpea @Shaz51 @StuF @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Judi9877 @rivergal @frog @Always-hope @HenryX @Meowmy @Anastasia @Daisydreamer @EOR @TAB @Fizz @TideisTurning @BlueBay @Meggle @The-Hams and anyone else passing by...

As with a lot of my poetry, ideas are born from therapy sessions. Things are brought up, mulled over and quite often Jeff will quip, "There's a poem in that." and that becomes my homework for the week. That is how this poem came about. Jeff said to me during a particularly challenging session, "When you can tell me, hand on your heart, that you are proud of your story, then I will know my work is done." And yes there was a poem in that.

BB 🐰💙

Proud Of My Story

To be proud of my story, is all that I ask,

And yet it appears, an improbable task,

There’s skills and intelligence, I can attest,

But is that enough, to start thumping my chest.

To be proud of my story, but where to begin,

When all my emotions are bathed in chagrin,

My intellect challenges negative weeds,

But deep in my soul, is the child who still bleeds.

To be proud of my story, I want to embrace,

This journey of life and the riches I chase,

Not power, nor fame, nor material wealth,

But courage, respect and a true sense of self.

To be proud of my story, I have to commit,

No time for excuses, nor reasons to quit,

I won’t become victim to those who protest,

It’s me versus me, in this challenging quest.

To be proud of my story, it’s progress before,

Perfection, which used to thwart every score,

Before I replenish my once empty cup,

The first thing required, is just showing up.

To be proud of my story, I need to be free,

From reapers and creepers that terrify me,

I run from the dog so it cannot latch hold,

And tear my behind a new wound to behold.

To be proud of my story, my actions must speak,

Instead of the words that are tossed in a heap,

Be honest, be fearless, be balanced, be strong,

And always work hard for the place you belong.

To be proud of my story, it starts with a choice,

To strive and not settle for less than rejoice,

It’s forward momentum that keeps me alive,

I’m done with survival, my heart wants to thrive.

To be proud of my story, it’s stroke, pedal, stride,

That leads to an Ironman bursting with pride,

Then moves to employment and further beyond,

A life that was troubled and frequently wronged.

To be proud of my story, I have to make peace,

With every chapter that crawled in the crease,

It’s time to shed fear and create a new start,

To be proud of my story, my hand on my heart.

© BB - 26 Nov 2020

@bipolarbunny

Bravo!!!

An aside- it seems the tag function doesn't always work as intended 😞

I see tags when you Support or comment on a post I make, but when you posted this new poem, no tag...

@StuF Ahh, it could be cause I cut & pasted tags on the poem.

Glad you enjoyed it. How have you been? Is it cold where you are? I'm in Central Vic and it's freezing 🥶

BB 🐰💙

@bipolarbunny

That sounds like it could be it!

Definitely enjoyed. Thanks for sharing, as usual 🙂

Been ok. Bit up and down. But taking me mum to a gallery tomorrow for her birthday, so that should be fun. Is rather cold here. Probably colder where you are, but cold enough!

How are you going apart from cold?

@StuF Spending the day with your mum at the gallery sounds wonderful, have a great time!

I'm doing better thanks, Winter is usually brutal for my depression but this year I've really pushed myself to get outside and keep training even in the cold and it's really helped. I even went swimming today, heated pool, it was so nice.

BB 🐰💙

@bipolarbunny

Thanks!

Good on you for persevering in the cold!

Swimming sounds great. I did some lessons a couple of years back, but haven't got my slack arse into gear to go to a heated pool around here since

Hi @bipolarbunny some of your poems are uplifting and inspiring, like 'Proud of my Story'. It's wonderful that there is a wide spectrum of emotional qualities to different poems. I also love the poem of gratitude to Jeff in this way.

I feel pride in varying degrees about many aspects of my life, some of them may never have happened if I was not the kind of person labelled as bipolar. Other aspects of my life have been giant struggles with shame and deep lack of self worth.

I relate to:

intellect challenges negative weeds,

But deep in my soul, is the child who still bleeds

The limits of intellectual challenging have frustrated me. It's been like: I know in my head what would be more helpful thoughts/behaviours, but it doesn't seem to go beyond the bottom of my neck in terms of action and better feelings.

Yes, the deep hurt has remained strongly present in its own wordless reality. But with my new psychologist, I believe I am already starting to feel some healing there. The considerable increase in exercise, especially in wordless nature, is working well in combination with this.

Perfection, which used to thwart every score

A major theme in my creative life, life in general. I have been in the process of softening my perfectionism for many many years. Another piece of your writing that I relate to.

To be proud of my story, I have to make peace,

With every chapter that crawled in the crease,

Oh yes. Acceptance is my theme at this time.

Thanks, @bipolarbunny, once again.

@Mazarita Thank you my friend, I love reading your interpretations.
It sounds like we have had very similar experiences. I agree completely, in that being bipolar has brought aspects to my life that have been positive and would never have materialised otherwise.
Looking back, I think the good has far out weighed the bad, though I would vehemently deny that in the midst of a darker episode. I think that's where the writing helps.
Wishing you a wonderful day my friend xx

BB 🐰💙