Good morning @WriterMelb @Appleblossom @Mazarita @Silenus @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie and anyone else here.
@WriterMelb I suspect the 1st sentence of your post was meant for @Appleblossom
My all time favourite Leunig is :
Over the years (I'm 56 and have been writing since a teen) the majority of my scribblings have been when I was manic - it would just pour out of me, sometimes even writing to the rhythm of whatever music I was listening to. Often angry, rants about social injustices or chaotic ramblings about relationships between people, mostly prose and poems. Had a few pieces published in anthologies.
Since the start of last year I set myself the challenge of being able to write more when I am stable - which is most of the time the last couple of years - both a blessing (compared to decades of the roller coaster of untreated or improperly medicated bipolar 1 and complex PTSD) and a curse on my creativity that has frustrated me greatly. I joined the local writers centre and did a couple of writing workshops through them, as well as a short story writing course online through DailyOm. The most significant one for me was trauma writing with Meera Atkinson (author of Traumata). Brilliant, scary, and inspiring.
Over those earlier years I would say my writing was mostly for myself, an outlet of overwhelming feelings a lot of the time, very rarely at all fictional. So that's another part of my challenge to myself - to get better at developing characters and to not write in the first person all the time. My mother calls what I'm doing now "faction" - still largely autobiographical but twisting that into fiction with embellishment.
I attended several writers' festivals over the years and one year I did a workshop with the Belfast Poets who were visiting. They loved the piece I wrote and invited me to perform it at their show. Such a powerful experience doing it - and so I spent a couple of years doing slams and reading at parties with a band behind me. Loved it, but looking back that, too, was a long period of mania. When I crashed all the bravery left in a rush. That was about 15 years ago.
Once a month the writers centre has been having live readings at the art gallery in town and after the first one I went to I was encouraged to get up and give it a go. It's terrifying and liberating at the same time! Amazing to have a taste of being appreciated by an audience after so many years. I can't actually look at them, freeze and get tremors if I do, but if I focus on the page I get through it and feel good for having done it. The 2 little prizes they've given me are a total bonus, not what I was seeking in doing it, but so good for my confidence and that feeds back into my writing. I entered 2 comps last year and I get the mixed feelings about it that you all describe. Anticipation, hope, trepidation about a much bigger audience if successful, and then the let down when I didn't win a prize or get published. But I won't let that stop me any more. But I wouldn't say I'm prolific - if I do a new piece once a month I'm happy.
I'm now in a writing group organised by the woman I made friends with when learning bridge last year and that's lovely to be part of. Just 6 of us. We meet most months and do some writing exercises and then share a piece we've written and critique each other. And sometimes share our work between meetings. All in a very non-threatening atmosphere. She and her husband both hold degrees in literature and have lived all over the world and still connect into writing groups she's started in many places, so it feels like a real honour to have them include me. And the most amazing feeling is when I read one of my stories to the group and at the end they all just sat back and said "Wow" ... and even then I came away 2nd guessing myself because I'd had no feedback other than that ... I think it's not simply ego that struggles, but a deep lack of self-worth, which I see sharing my work as a big part of the path to healing.
I also have a very close long-distance friend I've known since grade 2 in PNG. We know each other intimately. She has won major awards and we exchange works before we set them free in the world. She is a brilliant critic and often challenges me with tasks. Another connection I feel honoured to have.
So that's my rave - it grew a bit since the one that disappeared the other day @WriterMelb !!
I'd love to put more of my work on here, but it might be identifying, especially when it's something I perform or seek publication of. I will aim at finding/making pieces I can share here. I have 4 journals and 3 folders and none of my stuff stored chronologically! Of course all the gatherings I've mentioned will be on hold for the duration, but with technology will continue in a different form. Just have to get some more tech skills!!! I've been using open office which is free, but I think it's time to get and learn to use Office and Word, like everyone else seems to have. That will make it easier to share work and enter comps in the right format.
Here's hoping that this period of hibernation is an opportunity to hone our craft.
Cheers, @eth
