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Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Hi all,

I have found throughout the course of my life that writing has been a constant companion to me. It has provided me with a way to vent my frustrations, to grapple with the eternal verities of life that confound and delight me, to explore ideas and concepts, and to try to put into words the often chaotic moods and thoughts that result from having a mind that's a little bit odd...

I have written lots of poems, especially in the last 3 or 4 years, dealing with depression and bipolar. They help me to process and understand some of the things that are happening in this twisted little noodle of mine. As such, writing has become one of my main forms of therapy.

One of the best things that I find about writing is that it can act as a kind of mood diary. I can read things that I had previously written, and it will quite often map out where I was at during the time of writing. The words I spread across the page act as signposts of my progress, too. As my self knowledge increases and my life journey progresses, I find that it affects how I write and what I write...

Often, we do not see the thousands of tiny little changes to our selves that our life experiences cause over the years. It can be very helpful to re-read old writings, in order to see how far we have come, what we have improved, where we have fallen back into old harmful habits, and the things that we have learned.

The language that we use in our writings and in our thoughts and in our speech is very important. It can reveal a lot about our selves, our states of mind, and our moods...

That language, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe that we attract certain kinds of people around us, and create (or at least influence) life situations based on our choice of language. It helps define who we are as a person.

Negative thinking, self-deprecation, self-hatred, these sorts of dangerous life traps are often revealed in our choice of words. So too are the positive things. It all starts with a glass. How we describe the glass and the quantity and quality of its contents, that's where language comes into it, and it can shape our very lives and the lives of those around us.

Writing... it is my solace and my main tool of self-analysis. It is my favourite form of therapy...

2932 replies

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In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

@Former-Member - I look forward to reading your latest instalment. My head, please settle, so that I can read.
Hugs to you.

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Thank you immensely @Silenus
Nice to meet you.

My lil guy is only very young and I think that is what pains me even more. Right now - just have him in my arms trying to accept that I might have to say my goodbyes. Oh - I do not want to accept it.

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Poem - A Moment

A Moment

A moment of clarity and calm,
To this weary soldier, compassionate balm;
Lay down my weapons and disarm,
To keep me just on the safe side of harm.

In response to: Poem - A Moment

Poem - Distance Defiles

Every week, I must away and leave my love, a slave of distant work...

Distance Defiles

Those damn long miles,
Taking me away from your smiles,
Away from your womanly wiles,
From sweet softness that beguiles,
A loving union foul distance defiles,
Damn, that riles.

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Deeper

What boundless unplumbed depths abound,
Forever lost in the Lost & Found,
A shouting mind hears not a sound,
Diving deeper till I'm drowned.

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Warm wishes @Silenus

In response to: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Thank you @eth 🙂

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Higher

What boundless unflown heights abound,
Forever calling with lustful sound,
A roaring Icarus fears not the ground,
Soaring higher till I'm downed.

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

After a time, rapid cycling becomes almost predictable... then it changes and sweeps the rug out from under you...

I do wish these mental "irregularities" wouldn't bounce off each other sometimes... here's my past 2 months in a nutshell...

  1. Rising hypomania, kept a watchful eye on it and started to apply brakes, enforce good sleeping habits, etc.
  2. Felt in control for the most part, coped well for about a month.
  3. A mixed episode hit from out of nowhere, lasted about 4 days (I'm always dodgy on time measurements during these episodes... I'm too busy trying to hang on for dear life to keep track of how many days go by...)
  4. Try holding down a full time job with lots of travel at the same time as all this crap is going on... whew... I'm exhausted... the weeks when I'm working from home are good... yaaaayyyy... but when I'm on-site, I travel 850-odd km to get to there from my place, and then I am doing a 340 km per day commute (170 km each way) to and from work and my dad's place. It's pretty brutal, but at least I'm getting quality time with my father of poor health...
  5. The mixed ep passed, to be replaced by depression "ripples" for a few days. Some mild rapid cycling.
  6. Now... some less mild rapid cycling...

Gotta love it, huh? Hey, at least mental health problems are never dull... hahaha... keeps yer on yer toes, too...

Hugs and happy vibes to all...

In response to: Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

Re: Writing As A Form Of Therapy

This bit follows 'How the other half live'

Proclivity
“It is time” Niqua announced. Though everybody knew by the tone of insects wings and the impossible level of decibels, that it was Earth speaking though her. “We must begin closing off all accesses between us and Rhynios force”. . . “and we must hurry.” Adelo, who had been standing on Niquas right shoulder while the announcement was made, then leapt onto the main computer console and began seemingly fitting. He jumped erratically in twists and turns, but the actuality of this fit was the typing of the password for the first sequence in the pre-programmed lock-down.

It was one of those rare occasions were Red was not present. He was on a surface-bound mission, the passwords for future sequences would have to be entered by individuals in separate cores. It was Reds job to deliver them. Surface bound travel had become a nightmare, compasses no longer worked. There were now hundreds of North and South poles, Pilots and captains could now only navigate by the old fashion methods of stars and landmarks.

High-tech communications had also stopped functioning, with the magnetic field now protecting us with less than five percent efficiency, almost all surface electric devices had burnt out. The only motor-driven vehicles were those of the World Government organization ‘Earth Haven’; and they needed a thick coating of lead to protect them from the now harsh atmosphere of the surface.

Gone were the days of sleek, fast transportation over the skin of Earth – if you wanted to get somewhere in a hurry, you took the underground tunnels; and they were only available in limited areas. Red was currently in a lead-laden submarine, on course to one of the most isolated Earth Haven sectors – New Zealand. There were nearly four and a half million people dependent on Red delivering the passwords for their Core scrapers.

Red, Niqua and Doctor ‘C’ were Australians, hence it was that continent where the foundations of ‘Earth Haven’ began. Red was not expected to deliver the passwords to every Core-scrapper on the Planet, just those in the Australasian area of responsibility. There were many areas of interest outside of Reds operational reach, in these areas of influence Red assigned his most trusted subordinate units to conduct a mission of communication with the passwords.

Red had already delivered the passwords to all of the main Scrapers on the continent of Australia, but with New Zealand being over four thousand kilometres away no tunnels were able to be connected. Hence the submarine ride, these vessels were a preferable means of sea transport to surface floating ships; due to the ocean of water assisting the protection from heat and other radiations.

During the recent past a submarine may have travelled as fast as forty five kilometres an hour, but lead-laden vehicles move slower, meaning a mission that would have been completed in a week was now going to take three. When Niqua regained her own level of consciousness, she immediately began to panic. How quickly did Earth mean to hurry, surely she wouldn’t leave Red out there!

Doctor ‘C’ had quickly become Niquas best friend and confidant, although she knew how busy the Doctor was, particularly now; she was beside herself with worry and despair. For a few brief moments the Geomagnetic Physicist transformed into plain old Cayla and shared Niquas concerns. With the radioactive decay caused by the Cosmic and Solar radiation entering our atmosphere, the magnetic field was declining rapidly – and there was very little left to decline!

Even within those few brief moments Doctor ‘C’ returned and informed Niqua of the theoretical statistics involved with the magnetic field completely shutting down inside of the month – Red’s mission was really cutting it fine! The panic and despair transformed into insanity, something that nutty Niqua was well experienced at. She made an instantaneous decision, she was going to Sydney to wait for Red.

Now that the automatic shut-down had begun, she was not of utmost importance, there were others with enough super-conscious connection with the Earth to keep the ball rolling. She needed to be with Red! If he didn’t make it back – neither would she! She felt the warmth of a super-conscious smile and the twinkle of a higher level wink. Earth was also her friend and had more understanding of Niquas own subconscious emotions than she did herself.

It was Doctor ‘C’ in the form of plain old Cayla that was seeing Niqua off at the main tunnel, that required only one surface connection to the Sydney bound tunnel. As she busily handed over some much valued rations such as chocolate and wine, Niqua didn’t understand. These weren’t essential items, “why are you giving me these things, I can’t accept them, they’re your rewards for all your hard work!”

“Oh Niqua! You’re going to want to ‘celebrate’ Reds return to port, the wine might help . . . ‘break the ice’ and relax you both; the chocolate . . . well you may need to boost your energy! . . . it is a long trip, even using the tunnels. All of this she said with a silly smile on her face and ended it with a wink. Although she didn’t know why, Niqua was so embarrassed that she took the gifts.

The Core-tunnel traffic was not like the subways or Metro systems of the recent past, they did not operate on an exclusive ‘right-of-way’ separated from all other traffic. They were more like the congested highways that had dominated the surface. Though in the main tunnels there were many lanes dedicated to specific vehicles. With the reintroduction of animal powered transport the variation of speeds had increased.

Though there were still some motor driven vehicles, mainly belonging to Earth Haven with the occasional rare private car or truck – there were only two lanes dedicated to this; half a dozen lanes dedicated to animal powered a few to pedestrians and several train lines. The trains were really the fastest form of transport these days; though some of the motor driven vehicles could actually accelerate more rapidly, trains had features like bathrooms for instance – eliminating the need for stops.

Niqua was boarding an express line train to Broken Hill. Being stationed in the first and largest Core-scraper in the World at Witjira National Park, South Australia; Broken Hill was as far as she could go before a changeover. The tunnel ended on the north side of Broken Hill, in the old regeneration reserve, surface travel was necessary to reach the main Sydney bound tunnel on the south side where the old airport was located.

Just getting to Broken Hill took about fourteen hours, Niquas anxiety was like a physical weight constricting her whole body. She couldn’t think straight about any one topic and yet she couldn’t stop thinking to be able to sleep. She still didn’t know why she was doing this, though she knew there was absolutely nothing else she could do! How could she leave Doctor ‘C’ and her entire safe haven core community . . . and how could they let her!

Through the madly swirling blur within her grey matter, there was always one image that was clear and constant, Red. She felt like a little girl on Christmas Eve, impossibly excited and impatiently waiting to unwrap her presents – but really she was impatient to wrap something . . . her arms tightly around Red! Holding on until she was sure he was really with her, he was completely safe and that he was still the same old Red that she knew and . . .

“Welcome to Broken Hill, this is the end line destination for tunnel 001. We hope you’ve enjoyed your travel with us. Please disembark promptly, those with connection tickets please make your way to your appropriate ‘Link-shelter’ immediately.” Niqua had been unconsciously holding onto her ticket for the past couple of hours. This would be the furthest she’d been away from her home-base for at least two years and her first surface travel in the same amount of time.

She gathered her knapsack whilst still clinging to her ticket and joined the bustling flow exiting the train. She read the ticket details for the umpteenth time – destination Sydney, via Broken Hill; Link-van 023 – return X 2 ticket. She was about to swim off into her grey matter again, seeing Reds face smiling down on her, but the heat struck her. It was like a bomb had exploded. She, like so many others who were returning to the surface for the first time in ages, began rummaging through her bag for her heat-shield cape.

There was a radiation poster every couple of meters – ‘Don’t worry about the heat, it’s the kindest radiation up here! Please keep your cape-shields tightly closed and move immediately to your lead-lined connection shelter. Exposure to the surface can only be tolerated for 15 minutes, longer exposures may lead to cancer!’ There were other safety posters pasted here and there, the procedure if someone was to pass-out or become unconscious in some way, was to cover them with their heat-cape and inform your safety shelter officer immediately upon your arrival – you were to leave them there!

Niqua could understand this procedure, the intensity of the heat was such that it did not feel like the skin was burning or drying out. You only sweated as you left the train, by the time you exited the tunnel and entered the surface, you had no sweat left. The most noticeable reaction was dizziness, she was so dizzy she had to fight within her own mind not to lose consciousness. An elderly man fell beside her, she covered him and moved on.

Luckily shelter 023 was only five minutes’ walk from the surface entrance. She immediately, as procedure demanded, informed the shelter officer of the man who had fallen. He asked for a brief description, which Niqua found extremely difficult to recall, but told him all she could. He did not seem surprised, or indeed even bothered. He simply pressed a button on his intercom marked ‘passenger retrieval’ and spoke casually “Yeah George, male, not young, on route to 023.”

She noticed the reply was bitter in tone “They’re falling too quick, there’s too many of ‘em. We’ve only got fifteen minutes to pick ‘em up! Second trip’s just body retrieval and you know it!” Suddenly she was awash with relief that she’d made it, yet an even greater fear was creeping in. She and Red would have to make the same trip back, over the surface of Broken Hill transfer centre. Every day, hell every second, the surface was getting more and more uninhabitable.

What was ‘safe’ for five minutes now, might not last a minute on the return trip. It had taken her five to reach here, how would they get back? She went from forcing her mind to stay conscious to subconsciously forcing it to subside that thought. All she could allow herself to focus on now was getting to Red. That meant an hour long trip across the surface and another thirteen hours on a train. She was half-way there.

Surface-vans, those that were used to connect passengers from south to north tunnels, were animal powered. The best animal for this job was the Camel, not a native to this land, imported into Australia from Arabia, India and Afghanistan during the 19th century for transport and construction during the colonization of the central and western parts. Even these heat-hardy animals required a lead-canopy to walk under, so not only did they pull a lead-laden wagon full of passengers, but they pushed their own lead-shield on wheels as they did so.

Considering this was a trip that once would have taken twenty minutes by car (depending on traffic); these two dozen camels ran and heaved their little hearts out, getting their passengers there in just one hour! Niqua was relieved that they pulled up right outside the Sydney bound tunnel entrance, as even the lead-laden wagon only reduced the harshness of the surface tolerably. Though she still had to face the heat-bomb when she stepped from the wagon and took the few steps into the tunnel.

The train was ready and waiting; once all the passengers had boarded the second leg of her trip began. Another thirteen hours of agonizing anxiety, strengthened by the memory of the Broken Hill surfacing, literally seared into her mind. Her ticket comprised of two little pieces of paper stapled together, the second piece was a pre-booked room at the main Sydney Core-scraper. Due to the high population there, she was only able to get one double room, they were going to have to share.

Sydney is Australia's largest city, with the greater metropolitan area home to more than 4.6 million people as at June 2012, accounting for 64% of the New South Wales population. Slightly more than the entire population of New Zealand was in this one city! At least there was no surfacing, but how she was going to find this one room in the second largest scraper of Australia, was boggling Niquas mind! If Adelo hadn’t nearly bitten her right earlobe, she might not have noticed the young girl holding the sign with her name on it.

Doctor ‘C’ knew Niqua too well, she knew Niquas mind would freeze, just from the travel, never loan the copious crowds of people and the sights and sounds. She had arranged a guide for Niqua, this young girl would lead both body and muddled mind safely to the core-room; and then continue her guiding in ten days to ensure Niquas mission to reunite with Red went smoothly. She had also been hired to provide a means for some basic necessities like food, entertainment and even company.

For Niqua ten days dragged on like ten years, although young Shakalee was very gifted at diverting a person’s attention; possessing a kindness and patience that seemed almost unnatural! Finally it was time to make their way to port. What the camels did became even more unbelievable, when Niqua discovered that even using the tunnels it was going to take over an hour to reach it!

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