FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

2,011 - 2,020 of 2,720

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

That is super hard @Former-Member Those triggers can be very unsettling so you have done very well to enable that tension to drain away. Hugs and hugs Hon

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Tassie is a beautiful place @Former-Member The coastal towns are just gorgeous and luckily from the major cities most are only a couple of hours away so can visit them in a day. I want to head to the West coast for a couple of days when I can afford it. I could take Toby as there are a lot of pet friendly places there to stay but would need my sister to look after Cat. I could only go for 2 full days as my sister would not be able to give Cat her meds. We could go 2 days without one of them but her chemo one is every 3 days and she needs that one. She gets that at dinner time with her food so I could be back in time for that. That is going to be some time off though.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Eve7 💕🙏🤗 what you up to today?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sounds Great @Zoe7, a little trip to the west coast with Toby. Even if just for a weekend. I had planned to spend this summer in Tazzy & Nth Qld in winter... Got the van and all, but stupid COVID. Think it might be a nightmare navigating the boarder closures now, not to mention risk being stranded unable to return. I donno, maybe next year. Some docos on Tassy are good, definately on my bucket list.. might even move there for 6months lol

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You might even find it hard to leave if you come for 6 months @Former-Member It does get cold in winter though so moving back to a warmer climate might be necessary I don't particularly like the cold myself so happy to go to work and home on those days. Tobes and Cat snuggle in on their respective beds and then Tobes snuggles with me when I am home - that is the life!

From March to June this year the Spirit is taking cars free of charge but of course we still have COVID to navigate so travel anywhere outside of the state here is precarious. Not sure of the process coming into the state - and it may be too soon for you - but maybe worth looking up.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I’ve done some housework and folded washing @Former-Member

Later on I have a training session with some athletes I coach however I haven’t walked today.I booked flights to Adelaide for an event next month which I hope goes ahead 🤞

I’ll pick up dinner on the way home from Subway. so that will round off a quiet day.

Has your day improved?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Tassie is lovely @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Eve7 . I have visited the state 4 times in total, and thoroughly enjoyed each. Was there for different reasons each time, and saw different places too. I think overall now, I have been everywhere in the state ... North South East and West and everywhere in between. I was there mid winter one year, and the weather was actually really nice. I was told that early July is good, because you rarely get the cold winds until later in the season. I was there the last week of June and first week of July ... the weather was lovely sunny crisp winter days, with no wind. I dont mind the cold though, so perhaps I'm not a good advisor of such things. Hi @Adge @Clawde 👋

For you @Former-Member .... because you are a good friend, provide lovely support and I value you very much. Thank you.

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Aww @Emelia8 - those roses are lovely surprise thank you 🤗 You have a quiet night tonight, keep those fluids up (not the alcohol ones lol) Green & white tea would be good.
@Zoe7 oh wow, free car trips across the Bass 👍 but in winter 😗🤔☃️ I would like to go to the Festival of Voices in Hobart but that's probably cancelled this year. Do post about your trip when you go 🤗
The treadmill tech guy just left. Replaced the mat and showed me what to do if it seems to be slipping. He thinks it may not have been callibrated properly. So back to the drawingboard with that. Would you believe he's from Tassy but left with army postings and only goes there to visit family. Lovely guy, married ☹️lol

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

February is usually our warmest month here @Former-Member but it does start cooling off from March to June. We still have nice days but the evenings get cold. Hopefully they will do the same later in the year as well to get tourists back and then you could seriously consider the trip down this way. 👍

I haven't been to the West Coast since I was a kid and it is definitely on my list of places to go @Former-Member @Emelia8 I have been all around the state at various times bar the west coast. I have family in the north and north east and friends in the north west so multiple trips to those places over the years. We often travelled the east coast road as well - simply beautiful.

Glad your treadmill is finally fixed @Former-Member What a pain that has been Gad you had a nice guy fixing it and how coincidental with all our talk today about Tassie that he was from here.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Re: why can't I cope longer?

- Serendipitous -
2,011 - 2,020 of 2,720