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Something’s not right

why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

ClawdeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Come cook with me, can do anything you want, tell me your pantry and I will help you cook a storm Clawde here loves to cook with a challenge 🪄

@Former-Member wrote:
I've been in bed all day, this is not living.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I heard Terri Irwin once say she wanted people to look at her and say “Steve did well marrying that woman” @Former-Member

I think that too for my h but I have failed badly this past year.

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Pizza & a Swim sounds Good @Eve7 (I'm not a Swimmer).

A Cafe Latte (instead of Baileys) - if that's what you'd prefer.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Sorry @Former-Member Just one more Coffee....

My back has been caning me all day (the worst in years) - Plus bad Gut/ Tummy pain.

The combination of both pains wiped me out - I had to cancel a Coffee catchup with an old friend.

I couldn't drive there, I wasn't up to it.

This one is the Universe (or Galaxy) in a Cup....

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Paperazzi @Eve7 @Former-Member ? ...

I just had my Post Removed - In trying to reply to you.

Even though I used your Exact Same Phrase - Which was Supposedly Okay, because you used that Word yourself.

I've had so many of my Posts suddenly Disappear (Removed) - It's not funny.

Always gives me a terrible shock, when that happens.

Then it happened again right now.

Alway at Night, when I'm Going to Bed.

Dad's Birthday was December 27th (that's a Trigger/ Grief Time).

Dad's Anniversary is coming up on March 20th (5 days after my Birthday).

Which means I've been Sad (Grief) at the time of my Birthday - Every year, for the past 5 years.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Adge - sorry you lost the post, do you know why? I'm not surprised with the flurry of activity here tonight, sorry. Don't worry, those who count got to see it 👍 I saved the image 😁 after Eve said they smashed one of her posts. I use to be crushed by it but found a way to cope now - i've learned to 'not care' (this is not a democracy lol).
Sorry your dads B'day and passing dates still hit you hard. Us mere humans are just not just not wired for death 😨😞 Hang in there, crack open your life raft to ride those grief waves when they come 💛 Hard on our own 💛

In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AdgeSenior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Former-Member

I will try to Ride those Waves of Grief....

Grief Sucks.

Losing someone sucks.

Grief does not just naturally work its way through (or just happen), as many people seem to think.

Because there is so much Suppression & Denial in society- that stops Grieving.

Grief is not valued or recognised as necessary or healthy.

Adge

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember

Re: why can't I cope longer?

It's true @Adge, it's like a lot of things... society / the world make it so much harder than it needs to be 💛

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Eve7Senior Contributor

Re: why can't I cope longer?

I’m in trouble too @Adge I changed my post and then removed it but the email triggered me tonight.

I’m off to bed so night night @Former-Member

I have to be at the hospital early tomorrow.

💜🦋💜

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