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why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2019, 10:22 pm AEDT

why can't I cope longer?

Something's not right alright... Not sure why I'm falling to pieces atm and short of listening ears. Hope someone here can put up with me.

I'm walking in circles at home... well, not literally, just can't seem to stay focused or finish anything... if I can even remember what it is I got out of the chair to do half the time...

And snappy with people, everywhere, rude even (which is so out of character for me), the slightest hint of being 'had' or criticised or misunderstood... oh boy, I just can't keep it in atm. The internal pressure cooker wants to explode & I don't know how to stop it.

I'm at the crossroads in life, moving and deciding if to bother starting again, or just quit on life / die.

And what's scary about that lately, is the thought of it doesn't make me scared anymore - like its just what I'm supposed to do. Do you think God would factor in a premature departure (suicide / depression?) like he accepts other illnesses that separate spirit & body?

Its just those kinds of dark thoughts, but not like crisis level or that, just trying to find my way, or other alternatives, something to look fwd to.... to keep me here. I can't see a future worth living & don't feel the internal resources keep fighting.

Don't tell me to run off & get antidepressants... I'm on them. Or psychotherapy - that's in progress... I think maybe I just want to be heard. Not changedchanged (disapproved of)... just cared about... Is that too much to ask from life? Oh I know God loves me and all that, but I still live on earth...

Do you know what I'm trying to say?Does anyone ever feel this way? I just feel so totally spent - the end of the line... ... ...

My two church supports are away at the moment, not that I lean on them heavy, I'm just conscious there gone...

Ha! Horrible feeling like the only close people in ya life need to take a holiday away from you, well, maybe some of the others I notice they have to deal with more, none the less - feeling abandoned 😞

2720 replies

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In response to: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 12:49 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@outlander

@My bro sent me this email today. Mental Health have dropped him:

"I'm under spiritual attack plus dealing with getting old quickly.

I'll keep fighting for life but if I go under the Kn#fe and come out even worse I'll reassess the quality of my life but that's if it goes south good chance it won't. Don'tforget I've got a criminal QLD police out to end me last attempt was early 2019 a convicted QLD copper who got out of jail 2018 for murdering his wife and child and blamed me for it came to Sydney had a go I actually did get police help and on his return trip to Brisbane him and another guy was killed on Newcastle bypass I was told after would's. Anyway there not a worry anymore as I've spoken to Mike Burgess and two other members of that Branch of law enforcement. Ijust wish I was compensated for organised Federal and State crime and my physical and mental condition.

Yeah I'm not out to neck myself that's stupid. And a grave Sin.

Right Thumb really hurting.

enyway better get ready for Doctors appointment be good.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 12:56 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thats really tough @Former-Member

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember27 May 2020, 12:56 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Seachange is a Aussie drama, with lot of humour @outlander.

Sorry I'm so slow here. But have to go soon... Faceplanting here.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 12:58 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Gotta wait for your pic to pop up @Former-Member
It sounds like a good show though, comedies are good

Hoping you can get some sleep tonight too

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 12:58 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hello @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 1:09 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hugs @outlander

Hey @Former-Member

Glad you found things to cheer you up on tele.

Your email from your brother is heavy going. It could also be a way he might feel he is reaching out, keeping in contact and letting you know he is thinking about important things in life. Probably would trigger mixed feelings for you. He is not in a great place really. Sorry I cant be more help. Both my brothers are in "heaven". Sometimes, the simplest use of language makes most sense. Life on earth is a lot tougher .... and most people look forward to getting to heaven ... whether they deserve it or believe in it

We are all up late and my cat just sat on my arm again. Its so hard to move, I dont like disturbing him .... Ahhh the power of cats ...

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

outlanderSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 1:34 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Goodnight @Former-Member @Appleblossom sleep well

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 1:40 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You are still up @outlander

My cat managed o let me know he wanted midnight feast ... he had finished his dinner ... so got his 3 balls of cheese.

I hope you get some rest tonight @outlander

@Former-MemberYou must have settled.

Hugs to both of you.

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember28 May 2020, 10:57 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Dear @Former-Member ... I read your post here about your bro, yesterday but did not respond because there really was nothing I could say. Plus you already had some good support here, which was great to see @Appleblossom @outlander @Adge ✔🌺

But it must have been concerning for you to receive that email. He sounded in a bad place and quite distressed. I was relieved to see that he had a Dr appointment later that day. I wonder have you heard from him since?

And that aside @Former-Member ... how are you doing? You have been unwell with stomach pains earlier this week, which were coming and going. If you havent already made an appointment with GP, and the pains are still bothering you, it may be time to phone and make an appointment. For peace of mind, its probably worth getting checked.

Have you put in the transfer paperwork to RMS for the car you sold? It must be a relief to have it sold and no longer needing to worry about it. Plus a bit of money in your pocket, which is a bonus. Any plans to do something special for yourself? I would love to think you were doing something nice for yourself. God knows, you deserve it.

Anyway ... just leaving this for you. Along with the hope for a good day.

Sherry 🌸💓⭐

In response to: Re: why can't I cope longer?

Unknown userMember28 May 2020, 11:41 am AEST

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hi @Former-Member, that's a lovely reply post that I'm working on a reply, takes me ages, thanks for caring 💐

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