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having a bad morning

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 Apr 2016, 8:01 am AEST

having a bad morning

I am feeling that my life at the moment is crap. I am so depressed and find that more so in the mornings. I hate myself so much, the way I feel, the way I act and behave. I know people will say to me 'oh just get over it' or 'you're not trying hard enough' - well to those people who say that: Do you have a mental illness; do you know what it's like to have depression and feel so dark that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; do you self harm to get rid of your emotions and to feel the pain; or do you think about suicide because it's all too much and you can't handle the pain anymore - NO. So don't tell me to just 'move on' or 'stop being too sensitive'.

I am not having a good morning this morning; tears are flowing as i am typing. And I have to get ready for work; damn work. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living and why?

I really don't know how i am going go today at work; I feel so depressed. 😞

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In response to: having a bad morning

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:16 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

@Shaz51. Weird question but I'll play along. I'm hoping your going to do my horoscope. Lol. 27th of this month. Less than a week to go

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Shaz51Senior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:25 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

Ha ha @utopia, I started a new tread called ¬happy birthday ¬ every week I will say happy birthday to someone , like this week is @Former-Member`s birthday xx

Your horoscope.is that you are a great friend , very caring , loving person and I wish you all the best--- how is that xx

In response to: having a bad morning

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

I agree with @utopia too @BlueBay ..... it's your inner child who needs the biggest hug right now .... and it's your adult self who can best give it to her .... 💕

Think about what your inner child might need to settle her tonight and focus on that .... gentle songs ..... a warm bath with lots of bubbles .... dim lights. .... comfy bed and jammies .... hot chocolate ..,, a book to read or knitting to do .... ☕🏮🎶📚🎇💝

Quieting down the negative voices means calming down you ..... you can't think clearly or well in this state .... and to improve your situation you need to make good choices ...

We know you are hurting from your past abuses @BlueBay ..., and it will take time and hard work to get to that place of healing .... but you can do this .... 🌷

Listen to other voices on the forum who have been when you are now .... these people have taken the baby steps that you need to take .... they can relate to your pain .... but you need to listen to their advice too .... cos they are wise warriors and you are on your way to becoming one too .... 💕

Stay on the course @BlueBay .... be brave .... but tonight .... just be as calm as you can. Find the way to be calm. Soothe your inner child.

💜🌷

In response to: having a bad morning

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:32 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

Thank you @Shaz51. I read the post after I sent mine. So I really appreciate the horoscope. Lol

In response to: having a bad morning

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:36 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay. We are all here for you. And we all believe that you can move past this. Just focus on you and what is best for your growth and health.
Well said @Faith-and-Hope.

In response to: having a bad morning

KurraSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 7:42 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay
If you decide to run away you also need to realize that you'll also be running away from the police.

I know because I've been in that position too many times. The police will find you and if you resist they will be as tough and rough as needed to protect you. I really don't recommend this course of action. Let’s just say it can be very unpleasant.

Breathe @BlueBay and take care. Maybe it's time to get your knitting out or your colouring book to help calm you. 🎶💕🎶

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

BlueBaySenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 8:05 pm AEST

Re: having a bad morning

Hi @Kurra@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Shaz51

I have been chatting online with Lifeline. I wasn't sure what i was going to do - my stupid negative mind goes wandering sometimes and i get so sucked into my negative thoughts.

i am going to make a cuppa, and have an early night.

Pls don't worry i am okay. I am sorry if i have worried everyone. It's just that this week has been extremely hard - with my nieces anniversary of her death to my pysch session that went terrible and left me feeling very angry towards him and me. To my blood pressure going sky high where i have been in hospital twice in 4 days. to be told by the hospital that it is stress related.

i am going to phone my psych tomorrow and mention to him how i have been and how anxious i am feeling with the change of meds tomorrow and not being in hospital.

i am going to go for a long walk tomorrow morning. OK, no knitting tonight but maybe even a bit of colouring in will help. yeah that's what i will go and do.

Thank you guys for just being here for me and pushing me to get through my dark thoughts.

Oh and when i go to bed i will give my inner child a huge hug and talk to her. i know i will get upset and cry but she desperately needs a hug. I can't leave my inner child alone anymore, she needs me.

chat again tomorrow morning.

i cannot thank everyone enough for tonight's support. i can feel the love and sending you all a very big hug. xxxoooo

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor21 Sept 2016, 8:42 pm AEST