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having a bad morning

having a bad morning

I am feeling that my life at the moment is crap. I am so depressed and find that more so in the mornings. I hate myself so much, the way I feel, the way I act and behave. I know people will say to me 'oh just get over it' or 'you're not trying hard enough' - well to those people who say that: Do you have a mental illness; do you know what it's like to have depression and feel so dark that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; do you self harm to get rid of your emotions and to feel the pain; or do you think about suicide because it's all too much and you can't handle the pain anymore - NO. So don't tell me to just 'move on' or 'stop being too sensitive'.

I am not having a good morning this morning; tears are flowing as i am typing. And I have to get ready for work; damn work. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living and why?

I really don't know how i am going go today at work; I feel so depressed. 😞

1047 replies

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In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Thanks @Kurra for your comments. I sort of that was the way it works but wasn't 100% sure.

I will not go to the public psych ward; apparently it is horrible.

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

I've always been admitted to public psych wards. The private hospitals wouldn't take me even though I had full health fund coverage. I did have to be kept in isolation (cell) and after that in the high dependency locked ward so that probably made a difference. 🎶💕💕

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay. My psychologist and gp were thinking of sending me to the nearest towns private hospital where this nutty shrink worked. I looked at heaps of hospitals on line & mum recommended the one I finally chose. My dad had been to the same clinic almost 18 years earlier.

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Terrible night sleep
Awake at 1am 3am then 4.30 am and can't fall back to sleep. Been crying. I'm tired.
I'm worried about new meds. Why didn't psych put me in hospital.
Think I'll get up. My head is telling me to run away but I can't.

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Yeah, get up mate. Try and do something constructive..sometimes easier said than done though..same boat with sleep..up four times a night every night..im on a very short leash with the powers that be..still try to remain positive and do what I can in terms of being a responsible man ie. Job hunting , accommodation etc...even if it is an illusion...do what makes u happy..not what outsiders say..their opinion dont count for squat...peace

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay. Sorry you have had such a rough night. I'm not surprised being as your anxiety levels are up.
Wait and speak to the CAT guy this morning. Ask him if you can go to hospital without yourppsychiatrists concent.
Until then, do some knitting. Make yourself some soothing tea. Scrub the bathroom. If it's not to wet outside - take your pup for a short walk. Distract yourself until your phone call.
Ive also had a rough nights sleep. I'm going to try and get some more shut eye now.
Let us know how the call goes. And just try to breath.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@BlueBay

💜💕💐💜💕💐💜

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Yep..the educated powers that was..are trying to push buttons again?? Lol..even sent a police presence as usual..lmao!! Looks like another day at the beach ay mate?? Lol

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Nothing is ever going to work. I have just come back from ED for yet again very high blood pressure
The CAT team want me to call my psych tomorrow and bring appt earlier.
I told the guy that I fear of getting better for fear of losing my therapist. And my stupid husband made a stupid noise like huff puff because of what I said. He has no idea.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my therapist and I'll ring my psych. Hospital is full with patients and they have a waiting list. So there goes that idea.
I feel terrible tonight. I feel like stopping everything What's the point I'm tired. And stressed and can't stop crying.

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Wish my husband would shut up and stop whinging about crap around the house. Wish I could go away.
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