having a bad morning

How can this be?

I had 2 nice days, enjoying the sunshine, going for walks, coffee down the street and now today I am the complete opposite. Don't want to do anything. Feeling crap. The sun is shining and I should be outside enjoying it but I can't even go for a walk down the beach. It's simple - drive the car, get out of the car and walk on the beach track. Trouble is - I can't. I feel so anxious about going alone. It sounds stupid, I crave to be alone and when I am I am anxious.

My husband and daughter are working; my two boys are out and I am home alone with the dog.

My anxiety is rising, I can feel I am getting emotional, angry with myself and frustrated.

Think I might just curl up on the lounge and cry. What is wrong with me. I feel like my anxiety is taking over, it's controlling me. I hate it'; i hate this and everything.

Aw @BlueBay

I so understand what you are talking about - I do have chronic pain syndrome rather than anxiety - but there are days when I can't get myself to go out unless I have an appointment - and I relate to what you are saying

Whatever the reason - staying home and even staying in bed is a really miserable way to pass time - whether you are ill or have other things happening

And it is a lovely day here today - but it seems I have a cold or something - and I feel I have to take it easy

But I am really thinking of you now - your feel anxious about going out alone but you also crave being alone

I so get that - I have lived alone for many years - and there are days when I want to go out - I planned to go to the March today - but no - so like you I feel conflicted

Please - as frustrating as all this is - it is understandable - and I really hope you can resolve your confusion

I feel the same way - and I wish the same for myself

But we need to take care of ourselves - and I know you work - so today is a chance to give yourself a break before you go to work

I wish both of us felt better

Thanks @Decadian

I'm the same - if I have appts to go to I am okay but if there is nowhere to go - then that's it - I feel stuck, angry, emotional, and so so anxious about doing anything on my own.

I so dream of being able to go to places on my own, stay somewhere for the night on my own - but I can't. It's only a dream and will probably only ever be a dream.

I guess we do have to look after ourselves even when feeling so down. My husband will be home at 3pm so maybe we can go for a walk down the beach then. It just makes me angry why i can't do it on my own when i so much want to.

But for now it's just me and my dog. I hope you can rest up and feel better soon. Take care.

I feel like I am trapped in my own anxiety today. I haven't been outside for a walk at all today and all i could do was hang the clothes. I feel like I am in my 'safe haven' being inside.

It's like I am having a fight in my head with one part of my brain says just go for a walk, how hard is it - and the other part of my brain says no way, you can't go on your own, you won't cope; you'll be alone; it's scary etc etc.

I am trying to self soothe but all i can do at the moment is stay on here, chatting to others.

I understand @BlueBay

I have days like that too - I'm mad at myself for missing so much good weather - but I think I have a dose of allergic sinusitis -

It's a pity to miss the chance for enjoying good weather at this time of year - but it's better to look after ourselves

We need appointments - I so agree - but I cancelled mine - feel too giddy

I hope you feel better soon Sadgirl - and can catch some of this autumn weather before it's over

Decadian

@BlueBay

That's okay - I understand what you mean - I have been there and now and again - I still get really down

Dec

I need to go away. This is too much. Everything is just so overwhelming right now. I have just got up and haven't stopped crying, worrying, stressing, too much to think of.

It seems that every week something happens and i get so emotional, overwhelmed, can't cope. it's just too much. why do i bother? because i care, because i love my kids so much.

It's every wednesday, the day after my therapy session that i feel so overwhelmed, emotional, frustrasted, angry with everyone ilcuding myself.

its a constant battle in my head to want to get better, to fight this but then i also feel like giving up.

can't talk to my husband about this stuff so i feel so alone; trying to fix eveything is not happening and i hate it 😞