having a bad morning

Best wishes for a good night @BlueBay

@BlueBay Once you inform yourself what's going on financially and form a plan you will feel much less anxious I think. Finances are not something we can really avoid dealing with as adults. Hoping you find the strength to work through it together.

Hi @BlueBay

I don't think @Mazarita will mind me sharing this with you from a post she made a few days ago -

"Another technique that is part of my 'homework' from my psychologist at the moment is to 'postpone the worries'. What that means is that, unless the thoughts that are bothering us really need immediate attention (eg. the smoke alarm is going off and flames are lighting up the living room), we can 'postpone' them to one 20 minute block per day when we 'give ourselves permission' to worry for just that amount of time. Then set ourselves as free as possible from them for another day."

It sounds like a very good idea for the way you are feeling at the moment.

You are only on this holiday with your hubby for a short time. All this worry about your finances is stealing joy from your "here and now" moments, but I don't think they need to be.

If you can't do anything about fixing the finances in this minute, perhaps you can practice this technique of prioritising this social time and your husband's attention and company, and postpone all your other worries until you get back home.

And even then, maybe assign a time window to allow yourself to worry, then try to switch out of it again until the next one is scheduled.

❤️❤️❤️

Its natural to be concerned about how to pay the bill for our fun times. If it is so expensive that it hurts it is often not actually worth it.

At tagil @BlueBay

Try to just stay in the moment. Feel the cool pool water against your skin. Notice how blue it is. Notice the gardens around you, what people are wearing, background music. Can you see your favourite colour anywhere or being worn by anyone ?

You can even make a list of things to "notice" when you are feeling this way, to help keep you in the moment.

Enjoy ! ❤️

At tagli ... ??

That was supposed to be - Attagirl @BlueBay

Ain't Spellcheck just grand ?!

So glad your husband was compassionate towards you @BlueBay. That's important for the health of your relationship. Celebrate the little things.

Sounds like you're working on a plan, and that's a good thing too ❤️

Hi @BlueBay

@Faith-and-Hope and @Appleblossom have said some great things - it is spoiling what you would prefer to be a great time - having a holiday with your husband - you have so many issues going on in your head right now - it is just plain full-time working it out and this is so painful for you

I remember going to a movie with a friend who was a bit of a miser - and the movie was terrible - and so I got up and started to leave - and told my friend I thought the movie was horrible and he didn't like it but wanted his money's worth - and I told him I had my money's worth and seeing as we were there in my car - we left then - together - and so I told him about the theory of "our money's worth" - and forever since that day I think if you are having a rotten time - you have had your money's worth - and for all the trouble paying for this - I am so sorry - but it is really over for you - you are in too much deep water with all that is happening with your therapy - and yes - you do need that right now

I am seeing a psychologist under Medicare - and when I have had my 6 visits I might get another 4 - she is moving back to Sydney - so I have planned to see her more often and complete what I am doing with her and then see how I go before I use my medical insurance extras to pay for someone else

However - I see my doctor twice a week if I can - I need to because of my medication - and already Medicare is paying for most of my medical and psychological appointments - so I am wondering with you where you are regarding medicare - because to me it seems really important that you keep these appointments - you are working so hard there I have to think you are breaking out of that shell - like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly - and you really do need to make that a priority

I don't know how it goes seeing a psychiatrist - it's a long time since I saw one - but those visits were always paid by Medicare

So - my point here is that your life is so tough for you right now - trying to enjoy something is not going to happen easily - you are in deep water - and I hope you can keep seeing the psyche and your own doctor is back and you can see him - what - on Friday this week or next week

In the meantime - take those 20 minute nail-biting, tear-shedding moments - and try and ease up on the financial head-banging. Life is hard enough - and tying yourself in knots is really hurting - I can see

And I also know that all of this is easier said than done and I will have you in my best thoughts

Decadian