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having a bad morning

having a bad morning

I am feeling that my life at the moment is crap. I am so depressed and find that more so in the mornings. I hate myself so much, the way I feel, the way I act and behave. I know people will say to me 'oh just get over it' or 'you're not trying hard enough' - well to those people who say that: Do you have a mental illness; do you know what it's like to have depression and feel so dark that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel; do you self harm to get rid of your emotions and to feel the pain; or do you think about suicide because it's all too much and you can't handle the pain anymore - NO. So don't tell me to just 'move on' or 'stop being too sensitive'.

I am not having a good morning this morning; tears are flowing as i am typing. And I have to get ready for work; damn work. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living and why?

I really don't know how i am going go today at work; I feel so depressed. 😞

1047 replies

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In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Hi @BlueBay

It sounds like it was very emotional, but good for you as well. 💐

What did you say for the purple ball, if you don't mind me asking ?

💜

In response to: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Oops sorry purple ball was happy or gratitude. I said I was thankful for my beautiful family. And I was happy that my boss is very supportive.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

So glad you made it @BlueBay. Hope you are having a relaxing afternoon.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

You go @BlueBay for making it there today despite anxiety. Sounds like a very productive day. There is nothing wrong with feeling emotions. Glad the people there are very supportive.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Grrrr - i am angry.

I went onto lifeline chat online and my damn stupid computer crashed. BANG. dead. then it comes back on and i lost everything. gosh i am so damn angry.

stupid Lifeline, all i wanted was to chat to someone, guess i will stay on here and chat if anyone is up for a chat.

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Oh damn @BlueBay - was it your computer crashing or an issue on the lifeline website/chat?

I'm sure they would want to know if there's issues going on there!

Let me know and I can pass on the feedback if you want?

We're here though, of course 🙂

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Hi @NikNik

it was my stupid computer. it is frustrating because all i wanted was to reconect with the same person and some other person came on so i said don't worry to them 😞

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

Ah damn @BlueBay

I know it can be so annoying when you have written out so much, sometimes it feels like you can't be bothered to again. I understand.

There's lots of us around tonight though 🙂

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

@NikNik

something doesn't feel right tonight. i don't feel good even though i went to outpatient programs today. i don't understand why my emotions are back to square 1

In response to: Re: having a bad morning

Re: having a bad morning

In my experience, not all sessions with professionals are going to make you feel great. While that's not to say it wasn't helpful, it could be that you put in a lot of work and that can be exhausting or bring up some stuff.

I think of it like doing a workout. After the workout you're in pain / exhausted / sometimes cranky - but it's because you've put in hard work - which feels crap right now, but pays off in the long run.

So don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. Has anyone shared this image with you before -

For me this helps symbolise that just because you feel worse than you did yesterday or the week before, it doesn't mean you're back at square one or back to the start - if that makes sense?

I'm really glad you're reaching out tonight. While I don't expect what I have said to make it all better, I just want to take a little pressure off the expectations you have on yourself 🙂

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