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How Do You Get ACTUAL Help?

chibamSenior Contributor07 Apr 2016, 3:15 am AEST

How Do You Get ACTUAL Help?

What the title says.

I don't want to sound disrespectful to the people who keep saying that "talking about problems helps", but if someone actually wants to make their life worthwhile and not just talk about how much it sucks, how do they get someone who is willing to provide ACTUAL help for a person's problems?

How do you get someone to provide you with/arrange the introductions you need to make your quality of life worthwhile? How do you get someone to actually tell you what to do to make your life what you want it to be, instead of winding up on that verbal merry-go-round that therapists take you on, where they talk you around and around in pointless circles (that cost you $200 an hour!) without providing any actual answers?

How do you get someone to actually try to broker an agreement between yourself and the rest of society, so that the two of you can actually start cooperating for mutual benefit, instead of just hating one another for looking so ugly to them?

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In response to: How Do You Get *ACTUAL* Help?

theaveragejoeSenior Contributor07 May 2016, 2:03 pm AEST

Re: How Do You Get ACTUAL Help?

Totally agree Shara, well said. At the same time, I hope I have not offended anyone coming in with my strong opinions. No offense was meant. We are all learning here as equal friends no matter what our background is. We are all sufferers and all equal in this regard.

In response to: Re: How Do You Get *ACTUAL* Help?

DefiantPandaSenior Contributor08 May 2016, 6:51 pm AEST

Re: How Do You Get ACTUAL Help?

@theaveragejoe thanks.

Your second post about your psychologist was of particular interest to me, especially the bit about him telling you that you absolutely have to trust him because of the abuse you suffered and how that left you unable to judge people. It really struck home with me. I just hope everyone in our position can find a therapist they can really trust, myself included.

In response to: Re: How Do You Get *ACTUAL* Help?

theaveragejoeSenior Contributor08 May 2016, 7:05 pm AEST

Re: How Do You Get ACTUAL Help?

Hi @DefiantPanda

I think that coming to trust a therapist is very challenging not least because we have to tell every private bit of ourselves to a stranger tille we get to know the therapist.

I think that I am also intelligent enough to let the therapist help me and put my trust in him. THis was absolutely difficult to do, like trusting someone with your life.

Most people would find it hard or impossible I would imagine.

It takes two to tango: a good therapist and a good client. Together they can do wonders, as equal partners, towards recovery.

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