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Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

NikNikSenior Contributor02 Apr 2016, 1:22 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Dealing with loss: Myths of Grief

As carers grief and loss can come to the surface for many reasons:

- A sense of loss of the life we thought we'd live

- A sense of grief for what our loved ones are going through

- A sense of loss for the life you wanted for your love one

During this Topic Tuesday, we look at managing loss and the myths of grief. We'll be joined by two guest speakers from Compassionate Friends Victoria.

Join us from 7pm AEST

3 things you can do now:

1. Register as a member of the forums, which enables you to participate in the session

2. Hit the like button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3. Can't make the session? Leave a question below to be answered during Topic Tuesday

100 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Unknown userMember26 Apr 2016, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

@Shaz51 it sounds like, rather than 'getting over' your grief... you allow grief to change you. What about that phrase, "time heals all wounds". What do people think about that?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

And-016Contributor26 Apr 2016, 8:16 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

"Time heals all wounds" is a risky one, perhaps a bit too close to "closure", but time can help lessen the more extreme grief, time helps us to adapt. I think many grieving people hear the "time heals all wounds" as the speaker saying "I'm not really comfortable with your grief".

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

aweContributor26 Apr 2016, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Hi Mosaic
Re "time heals all wounds", a bereaved father told me the other day that "healing is forever". I agree with him but it seems that we find new ways to make life meaningful. If I didn't have my own ways to make life meaningful, I think I'd go crazy.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

aweContributor26 Apr 2016, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Hi Shaz51. My sister told me a year or 2 after Max died: "Gee, you've learnt feelings!". I'm a bloke and now I've discovered a whole new world. Like you, I feel I'm a much better husband, son and brother. Friends have changed a bit.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Unknown userMember26 Apr 2016, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

@awe that is precious - to feel your sons presence every time you handle a loaf of bread. Having an ongoing connection with our loved ones who have left us is so important.

Someone I knew once expressed to me that she thought of her daughter every time she saw a ladybug. As though the lady bug was a sign her daughter was with her in that moment. Then another friend told me she thought this was really silly fantasy, but I asked her why - why is it silly?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

And-016Contributor26 Apr 2016, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Just a quick comment about right and wrong ways to grieve ... there's an alternate myth to the "dwelling/being stuck" on grief. That is, if we instead throw ourselves headlong into activities such as housework, employment, volunteering, hobbies, etc. then we are denying and suppressing our grief. Now a complete suppression of grief-related thoughts and feelings carries risk, particularly in the long-term implications for one’s health, but it is increasingly recognised that responding to grief with both a mix of activity and reflection can be helpful. It can be beneficial to reflect, but occasional escapes are also important. It’s when one approach denies the other, that additional strain in one’s grief can be felt.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

aweContributor26 Apr 2016, 8:28 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Thanks Mosaic.
The ladybug thing isn't silly if it's important to your friend. Your other friend is maybe missing something important.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Unknown userMember26 Apr 2016, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

@And-016 Yes, so too must distrction or avoidance can be risky... So it's about finding a balance, and giving ourselves space to reflect?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

And-016Contributor26 Apr 2016, 8:31 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

I think the symbols, the things that we link to a person or a time in our lives, are a huge comfort. I find that with music, there is music that links me immediately with my brother, and it makes me tear up, but in a lovely, poignant way. I love those moments, those tributes to him.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

Shaz51Senior Contributor26 Apr 2016, 8:32 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Tues, 26 April, 7pm AEST // Grief

So it's about finding a balance, and giving ourselves space to reflect? --- this comment is so true @Former-Member, but sometimes it is hardto find a balance

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